I think I meant there is no inherent meaning or purpose behind it. I believe any point or purpose the accident had, I made it. It wasn't waiting there for me to find it. I could have just as easily seen it as a senseless loss and wallowed for years, you know?

I think it's the best advice I've gotten in a while

It just seemed like such a trivial thing. Not that the violence is trivial, but that you see worse, everywhere. It just seems absurd that such a small, unseen thing would have caused me to spiral that way, you know?

Unfortunately, I didn't "see" it. It was brief. And no one would have bought the idea I "heard" such a specific thing. Complaints aren't taken very seriously among the level of staff I'm at.

Thank you so much for your candid writing. I think between your account, and everyone else, I lie somewhere between just having an existential crisis, and dealing with something serious. I guess the action depends on whether or not I see it as something detrimental.

About three years ago, I was in a car accident on my way to work. A drunk driver hit me, totaled my car, and caused me to lose my job because of my inability to work without dwelling on it. I'd say before that, I was fairly carefree, a bit less direction. I see the accident as a guiding force though. I'm an atheist now, and took up Existentialism to cope with the accident.

I think the main thing I'm afraid of is if I saw a doctor, I'd get medicated, and it would kill my creativity.