Let me see how square I can make this circle. Now I hope you don't think I am compromising a discussion of words vs actions - by typing a bunch of words. I mean i could be out doing something productive for the poor instead of these engagements, right.
Some theology.
A significant difference between Catholicism and protestant sects is Catholics do not believe in the concept of Sole Fide saved by faith alone. Catholics believe it is both faith and actions.
As to the who is the better Catholic, ( as if there is some Catholic rating system)
if your "words" are just that words they are unimportant. It your words are an expression of your beliefs, and your beliefs are ordered, that is a little better. If your words are also an action, meaning they have a purpose that is ordered, such as helping others understand the faith better - that is better still. And tying it into your point of "Des Caritas Est" Cathloics would believe it is an act of love to share the faith with others. Feeding the soul more important than feeding the body ( all that by bread alone stuff)
If your wife actions, assuming of course that your wife's actions in this context are loving acts of kindness for others, than it becomes somewhat a question of motive and intent. To make this clearer
let's say a rich celebrity hands a homeless person a $20 bill as they gets out of their car. This is an act of kindness. But if say there are reporters around, and either they do not want to appear cheap or if he is doing it for the cameras, than the same act becomes more about the celebrities love of himself than an act of love for others. On the other hand, let's say that homeless person who just got the $20 bill, and that is all he has, shares it with a friend, who's act is greater. The rich giving $20 for selfish motives or the homeless giving $10 selflessly?
So to completely square the circle - it depends on the intent and use of your words and the intent and motivations of your wife's actions. However all things being, as I think you intend the case to be, in just my opinion, for all that is worth, your wife's actions would be superior to your words.
We are what we do.
Discussing the Philosophy of religion, is not discussing religion it is discussing philosophy. And there is nothing at all wrong with that. Not much different than discussing any other topic.
Understanding, learning about the precepts of a particular religion is Theology, and is not the practice of religion, and requires no faith, just understanding. Still a worthwhile endeavor - but no difference than the study of anything else.
Believing, by faith, in the precepts of a particular religion, and according ones life as such is the practice of religion. And in these cases ones actions should be consistent with ones words, and maybe more importantly, acknowledge when they don't and try to do better.
Not sure if I have squared all the corners off your circle yet - let me know what I missed.