Fair enough. I did experience temptation and I took time to ponder my decision. (The pondering was useful and brought me personal growth.)

Since it had no sentimental value to him, I'd say the value was equal to us both.

yes it does

Yes, we are interdependent. The tribal mentality that is so prevalent now is unfortunate.

I just wasn't comfortable doing that - not my style

I like how you phrase that

thanks

:grin:

turns out he didn't know it was there - not a surprise given where it was

It turns out he was very polite and did give me a nice reward (a use laptop). The ring did not have sentimental value to him - he wanted to sell it and he was up front about that.

thanks

FOLLOW UP

I have returned the ring.

Because the yard sale ad was on Facebook, I was able to message the seller. About 36 hours later I heard back. We conversed by Facebook messenger, and as expected he did not know it was in the box he sold me. He said he would like it back, and I said I would gladly return it.

This evening he came and picked it up. He was very grateful, saying, “Someone of your integrity is a dying breed.”

Here is the ring’s backstory (he gave me permission to share this). The ring was given to his daughter by a boyfriend when she was 16 (she is 31 now). She did not marry that guy (he was glad about that.) Years later when the daughter needed money, he bought it from her. He plans on selling it, and he asked me for some advice on the best way to do that. (I suggested he post it for sale locally and offer any potential buyer that he will meet them at the jeweler of their choice to have it appraised.)

I did not ask for anything in return. But, in one of his Facebook messages he asked if I had seen anything else at his yard sale that interested me. I said yes, a laptop I looked at (it was marked $40.) He said he still had it and would like to give it to me. I accepted his offer.

I am glad the ring is back where it belongs, and I am happy to have an interesting story I will remember for a long time.

(PS – If I were to grade myself on my ethics in this situation, I would give myself a B-)

Good point. I have seen ads in the yard sale section of the newspaper asking please return my golf clubs (or whatever) I did not mean to sell them. But again, he likely does not know it is gone.

Several people have said the answer is obvious. But at the same time, the responses vary widely. Does that mean it is obvious to some and not to others?

You are right. So why did I ask? Curiosity.

Oh Yes! (But after a while it becomes your junk and you have to get more)

Yes - I call it the circle of junk. My wife has bought small appliances (blenders, etc.) at yard sales because they were better than what we had. Then she sold the old ones at our yard sale.

I disagree that it would be as easy for him to reach me as it would be for me to reach him. First, he may not have noticed it is missing. Second, he had many people come to his sale (about 10 in the brief time I was there) so even if he knew it was gone, he probably wouldn't know who bought it. And even if he knew who bought it, he probably would not know their name or any other info.

Follow Up Question - If I am able to reach the seller I will return it and ask nothing in return. But, if he offers me a reward, is it proper for me to accept it?

Other people have also said they thought that estimate is low. But to me it is irrelevant - it will not change what I do.

Update - I took the ring to a jeweler. Here is what he told me:

The band is 14 K yellow gold

There is white gold around the stone

The ring weighs about 3 DWP (penny weight)

It is size 5.5

The stone is surrounded by 12 baguettes (small diamonds)

The stone is a diamond – it is about .45K with a cut quality of SI1 or SI2 (mid-range)

Estimated value $900

thanks - I really appreciate that. I miss him so much, but I am starting to get to the point where I can enjoy the good memories.

great story! I'm glad it worked out.

My view on karma changed when my brother died of cancer last year - made it much harder for me to believe in karma.

I did send the seller a message through facebook this morning. If he does not reply in 7 days, is that equivalent to posting a sign?

wow - I had no idea!

Update - I have sent a message to the seller explaining what happened. I will return the ring if he wants it.

that is what I doing - thanks

I don't see a button to upload a photo - how did you do it?

I am not sure if I should take your post seriously. Anyway, it was in small box inside another small box, so it did not fall off a finger.

I have asked many people I know what they think - it is about 50-50 keep/return

What makes you think most others see it that way? You may be right, I am just curious how you reached that conclusion.

Not that it makes a different, but the ring was in a little box, so did not fall off a finger.

Thanks Tim - interesting, thoughtful, and useful

Well said - thanks for the feedback.

Another thought - sentimental value and monetary value often differ. I have a 45 RPM record given to me by my late brother. It is not valuable money-wise but means a lot to me.