Trauma, Defense I’ve dealt with trauma and probably have my own defense mechanisms. My mother was under a lot of stress while pregnant with me due to my father’s alcoholism and infidelity. Her cortisol levels during pregnancy certainly predisposed me to feeling that the world was unsafe. I dealt with verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse as a child. It’s been difficult to get over, but I have finally found my peace, I think.
Schizoaffective disorder is somewhat manageable on high doses of medication, but the negative symptoms are still very much present. I find it much easier and I feel much more open with people who have been broken as well. However, I am very lucky to be married to someone with a master’s degree in counseling who understands trauma and mental illness. I would be lost without her.
I don’t have any advice, but I hope you see from the responses in this thread that you are not alone. I think reading all of your stories has been therapeutic for me and hope it has been for you, too.