But we choose to live with the risk of losing them?

Not in the sense of them being able to change their feelings (at least not in a short amount of time). But they could still have chosen not to have the child in the first place.
And the reason why they have the feelings they do, is because they still have an idea that death is a bad thing. If they were used to the idea of life being a temporary gift, they wouldn´t have those feelings (at least when they had gotten used to the idea).