You have every right to critique the products of my efforts (and I have every right to disregard them if I think they're without value, which I now intend to do with you), but you have no right to tell me I'm not putting enough effort in. — Pfhorrest
Okay, first two points. Of course. Last point is untrue and I think you’ll be hard pressed to find a reasonable number of people who’d find this ‘really offensive’:
I was hoping to find something like a “philosophy fandom”, that might have that same kind of collaborative creative enthusiasm for “fan philosophical” works. But from what I gather even in contemporary video game fandoms that kind of spirit is hard to find these days, so maybe that kind of hope was always in vain.
(...but I’m trying anyway).
— Pfhorrest
Not trying hard enough. Maybe you’re just not ready yet and find it easier to swallow if it’s ‘the world’ that’s against you instead of yourself.
We’re all human though. I do the same often enough and still hoodwink myself for days/weeks/months at a time. Slowly less and less, it is what it is, we are what we are, but we can instill ourselves a break our own destructive patterns if we manage to stop being consumed by hidden fears for a few brief instances (and they’re always brief or insanity ensues).
GL and keep trying to try, to try trying, to try :D
I have every right to point out that me, you and everyone else make excuses and blame the world often enough rather than look to our own faults.
Like I said before, you're not my boss, hovering over my shoulder to make sure I'm not slacking off. You don't have any grounds to tell me I'm not working hard enough. You can be dissatisfied with the result of my work, but it's my work on my own initiative; I am my boss in this matter. You don't know what else is on my plate, and you don't get to judge whether I'm putting in enough effort. — Pfhorrest
But I do, as does everyone else here, when you come online expressing views of internet forums and how you’re not getting what you’re looking for.
This is also a particularly hot-button issue for me because my father was emotionally abusive in exactly this way when I was younger, turning every dissatisfaction with some outcome of my actions into an attack on my character. (Unexpected problem occurred that I didn't think would happen? "That's right you didn't think!"Any other explanation of how something turned out worse than I meant it to? "No excuses!" It's because of that that I now feel guilty whenever anything bad happens, no matter how out of my control reasonable people would say it was, because I've internalized that I should have been smart enough to foresee every possible problem and proactive enough to preemptively prevent it.) — Pfhorrest
I don’t really come here to be empathetic about peoples hopes, dreams, worries and personal baggage. Professionals can do that to some degree on a personal one-to-one basis. I can only offer a broad point from personal experience (which I wouldn’t normally express here or anywhere else online).
I can relate. In my family my brothers and sister have a very hard time dealing with our parents. I don’t though. For some reason they don’t see them as humans who make the same stupid mistakes in life they make. I used to be angry at my parents for a while and shifted blame onto them. At the end of the day life is tough for everyone sometime more so for others than yourself.
Both my parents repeatedly said exactly the same things as what you’ve shown above and a hell of a lot worse. It might, just might, be your problem not theirs - and that isn’t a bad or derogatory thought to address, just an extremely useful way to deal with who and what you are as an individual. We’re all effectively fucked up in one way or another and often better off for it sometimes
:)
That you said I wasn't trying hard enough, and directly in response to me referencing my maxim, admitting that maybe I shouldn't reasonably have had any hopes for something, but that I was at least trying for it. — Pfhorrest
I agree with your maxim. What we do is never enough, we never try hard enough and yet we should really keep at it. That is essentially what I said, but with emphasis on pushing ourselves on regardless.
If you were offended by what I said you should be equally offended by your own words. They are, at their heart, the same. The difference was only in the delivery.