Hello! Sorry for the late reply, I wrote the OP at the airport before a weekend trip, which is a terrible idea, but I'm back so better late than never. Gonna go with a general reply as it's a little tough to respond one by one at this point:
So - there are some misunderstandings among some replies here, but that's partly because I titled the post in a deliberately provocative way. 'Control' is clearly not some black and white property, like an on/off switch. It's obviously more of a gradated notion, a matter of degrees and the of more or less (more control, less control). But that's also precisely the point: to the degree that what we can control always 'shades off' and is mixed into what we can't, responsibility itself must always include a degree of that which we cannot control, by necessity. That's the crux: there's no sharp diving line where control ends (or begins, for that matter), which correspondingly implies that responsibility must involve what is not in our control, as a matter of conceptual necessity.
Consider it like this: the alternative is
solipsism (or at least a certain kind of solipsism). For the solipsist is neither responsible
nor not responsible: 'In control' of everything that happens, the world of the solipsist is pure cause without effect: the solipsist coincides with the world and everything that happens in it (Witty: "The self of solipsism shrinks to a point without extension and there remains the reality co-ordinated with it"), and in such a situation both the very idea of responsibility
or non-responsibility become meaningless. The solipsist does not
act, at least, not in any way humanly recognizable: coinciding with the world and all that occurs in it, nothing that happens escapes or exceeds the solipsist: the solipsist is a theological figure, commensurate with the monotheistic God.
But such is exactly the figure that humans are imagined to be when it isn't acknowledged that
only when the act exceeds our control can we even
count as being responsible for something. So the glib parodies of 'I was fully in control, therefore not responsible miss the point - there is no possible way you were fully in control to begin with, which is
why you can even begin to count as responsible. The one who murders the other on purpose always has the effects of that action outrun any possible intent: only then could it even qualify as murder, let alone an action able to which responsibility could be imputed.
This doesn't cover everything, but here's at least some extra fuel for the fire.