I might put it like this: the trouble with God is one is always in the relationship for oneself. One loves God for what he does for you, rather than just because God is worthy or wonderful; the relationship is a validation of your own worth rather than just respect for other people.
It's the nature of the "salvation": belief and ritual are always a performance to rescued from their own ignomy.
Last weekend, I attended my father's baptism. He's been aligned with Christianity for about thirty years, but not felt in a position to fully commit to the faith until recently.
In the following sermon, the pastor was speaking about how people shouldn't be be giving charity or doing what's right to be seen by others, for a reward from other people. Yet, the sermon was also at pains to point out how, all along, God was seeing all the good works your are doing.
There a deep irony and inconsistency in the whole thing. Doing good works to be seen is not on... unless it happens to for the sight of God, to follow what God commands, to be seen to be Christian
by God so one gets the reward of eternal life by God.
The very doctrine of Grace is entirely self-interested: one performs the act of accepting Jesus to become superior to any other sinner, to be seen by God to be better than others and gain the favour of God.
Christianity is not honest when it claims actions do not get you into heaven. There is, in fact, only one that does: accepting Jesus, the act of practicing Christianity.
We might say God does not understand love. In the face of the evil of sin, God doesn't just give forgiveness because he understands sinners are worthwhile, he demands a commitment (accepting Jesus) to supposedly show the life of a sinner really is worthwhile (as opposed those pagan sinners who lives aren't meaningful).
What God prescibes is a performance of hierarchy. We (supposedly) must take on the form of following Jesus, so that we are not worthless like everyone else (despite the fact they are no more or less inclined to be sinful). It's not about the worth of people even if they have sinned, it's about the worth of being a Christian as opposed to not.
Rather than loving the sinner, God loves themsleves ( "I'm the authority who makes some people worth while or not" and God's followers (as far as Grace goes) love that God rewards them if they perform the dance.
In this context, niether can see the others because they are ignorant of themselves: God does not realise his authority is the beginning and ending of meaning. His followers do not realise they are, of themselves, meaningful.
Most religions (and many philosophies) share this ignorance. Any postion which claims to rescue someone from "meaninglessness" does. Consumed by the desire to obtain meaning, people cannot see themselves, and in turn cannot see others. Love becomes lost in the obsession of rescuing oneself from their perceived meaninglessness.