It's seems to me that allegations of genocide have to come with actual genocide to be meaningful, not just "genocidal intent among
some of the members." It is not that the latter isn't worth pointing out or criticizing, but that it would apply to virtually
all wars of any significant size.
If every war with massacres of civilians and attempts to displace populations was a genocide, than virtually every war is a genocide. Maybe they are in a sense, but then the term loses any value in international affairs.
By such a standard, Yemen's Civil War would be a war of genocide, as would Iraq's. The Vietnam War, the Russo-Ukrainian War, the Iran-Iraq War, Pakistani intervention in what is now Bangladesh, Algeria, the Russian Civil War, much of the Chinese Civil War, etc.
But it seems to me that the term "genocide" needs to apply to something more than "at least some leaders express such intent," and "at least some attacks are carried out showing such intent." If that's the bar, then it would also be the case that Hamas is guilty of "carrying out a genocide of Jews in Israel," by virtue of publically expressing such goals and carrying out attacks explicitly designed to further them. This seems wrong.
Hamas isn't carrying out a genocide because of 10/7; the term has to be attached to some sense of scale. Russian actions in Bucha, heinous as they were, were likewise not "genocide."
It seems wrong in part because a study of most conflicts will find attacks like October 7th occuring very often, and because it seems ridiculous to say that Hamas, who is in such a militarily weak position, is guilty of "committing genocide." By such a metric, North Vietnam and the Vietcong would also be guilty of "genocide," because of events like Hue as well.
By such a weak definition, the PLO certainly committed genocide in Lebanon, because they massacred the populations of Lebanese Arab villages, destroyed their cultural heritage, etc., with the aim of removing them from the area. And then Lebanese groups would be guilty of genocide as well, carrying out similar attacks against Palestinians. And Russia would be guilty of "genocide," in Ukraine for its punitive strikes, executions, and population transfers.
Here, one can't really debate the absolute vileness of such acts. The reason they are not genocide is because genocide is a term that needs to apply to scale.
Else you could easily have it that the victims of most genocides are themselves "committing genocide," whenever there are counter massacres.
Thus, in comparing scale we should look at the explicit examples. In Rwanda, 800,000 people were killed over the course of 100 days. During the Holodomor, 3.5-5 million were killed from 1932-1933, with deaths heavily concentrated in areas Stalin had denied food to, areas in Ukraine that were then immediately resettled with ethnic Russians (who there was plenty of food for). In Syria, where genocides against minorities have been carried out locally, 500,000-600,000 have been killed.
I would draw a distinction between that and Russia's actions in parts of Ukraine, but it isn't to "excuse," such acts in any way. It's just in scale and unified purpose of such efforts.
In this, the history of the conflict over Palestine does not seem like a genocide, with the possible exception of both parties' attempts at ethnic cleansing in 1948. This doesn't make their actions any less heinous, but the distinction has to remain meaningful.
Decades of conflict have not produced a very large number of fatalities (significantly less than other wars in the region). Population growth in Israel has remained strong due to continued immigration, but the Arab Israeli birth rate is higher as well. The Occupied Territories are subject to all manner of oppression, but their population has soared faster than almost anywhere on Earth in recent decades (actually a major problem/source of the collapse in standard of living.)
Until the decoupling of the OT's from the Israeli economy, the residents had significantly higher incomes than their Arab neighbors as well.
If simply being oppressive, offering a low standard of living, and responding to terrorism and protest with a massive use of force was genocide, then a very large share of the world's states fall into that category, cheapening the term.
Even indiscriminate mass killing is not necessarily genocide. US fire bombing of German and Japanese cities was never aimed at erasing those populations, but at forcing their governments to capitulate and reducing their ability to wage war. Israel has not been blanketing the strip in indiscriminate shelling and fire bombing— the death toll would be many times as high if they were, for they are well capable of doing what the US did to Tokyo.
IMO, to call either side's actions genocide is to simply cheapen the term such that, by any objective standards, it would apply almost anywhere. The Taliban would then be a genocidal force, the Soviets in Afghanistan as well, North Vietnam, etc. And then the imperative to "stop genocide," becomes impossible to meet, because it becomes equivalent with stopping all warfare.
Nor do I think the enlightened West would act particularly different. If the Swiss government carried out a 10/7 style attack on French, German, or Italian cities, you could certainly expect that there would be a counter invasion and heavy use of air power in urban areas. Actually, for all their righteous proclamations, given their actual track record and ability for complex air ops, combined with their aversion to casualties, I could definitely see the French just leveling all of Zurich in such a scenario (source: all of European history before the EU).
The condemnation due to Israel is rather due to their broader historical role in creating the situation, not simply that there has been an attempt to destroy Hamas at all. They are at fault in that they helped create Hamas and the situation they find themselves in, not because they are using military force to remove a hostile government that carried out an attack against their population.