Philosophy as 'therapy'. Nevertheless I think what you ask is impossible without stipulating the often unique situations that make us attracted to one person over another. Therefore what I say about person X or Y being the correct person to listen to is unique to me. As Z or A is unique to you. — Manuel
Initially, given the OP was becoming incoherent, I want to address this situation myself. I think, in my case, I have spent an inordinate amount of time addressing philosophy dialectically on a forum as perhaps you do.
I think of the issue axiologically (a personal meditation over ones values) as well as an even more important question of how one ought to reason reflexively about these relations
logically . Some people express this, in my astonishment, with attitudes, like cynicism, or optimism, nihilism, or even pessimism, which are rather illogical... Hmm.
Having thought to myself deeply about the existential logic of one's needs in relation to a world of wants (if one removes needs and wants what else is there??), I aquatinted myself with Stoicism. The recent revival of stoicism has been interesting to read about for many reasons. It encapsulates and gives a practical guide (literally by Epictetus called, the manual "Enchiridion" as to how to perceive our needs and wants). Using Stoic logic one finds a practical use of logic in how to perceive the world of needs and wants to describe ones situation relative to it. Stoics bring up the use of attributes, aversions, and disprefered needs and wants.
From this stipulation of logic, one (with adequate training and time spent studying it) learns to discern impermanent 'wants' from the more important concerns over what one should devote to controlling, be it dispreferred, non-attributes, like 'status' or 'fame' and so on. After one conducts this method of living in accordance with nature, as per Stoic logic, I would tend to think life becomes more enjoyable and if not happiness, then at least equanimity can be attained.