Teach them to always look for, enjoy, and revere Beauty, Goodness, and Truth.

What do you, Philosophers, tell prospective parents about how to raise (Old Norse, raisa) their children so that they will be good citizens, good parents themselves, and good thinkers? — Bitter Crank

I can't say that I've ever offered unsolicited advice to prospective parents about how they ought to raise their children, and I'm not sure how well received it would be. My guess is that I'd tell them what I did, and knowing that my children are without flaw, they should take my advice.

In short, the key to success in most every regard is a real education, and if you stress that and insist upon that, all else tends to follow, including such things as good citizenship, morality, and general perspective.

I must also say that I appreciate your Old English and Norse references, considering both are my first languages. I still can't get a hang of this modern English.

I would gamble on instilling critical thinking skills and a generally clear portrait of the world they're about to grow up in.

If we can just get them started on the path to self-learning and development, and give them as much of a head start as possible, maybe they'll surpass us all.

How to make a child into a good thinker is tricky... Trick them into thinking that learning is fun, or at least show them that the product of learning is desirable?

You teach an infant to talk by talking to them and listening to them as if they already understand and already talk.
So treat your child as a good citizen, a good thinker, a good parent; take them seriously and they will be seriously worth taking seriously.

You teach an infant to talk by talking to them and listening to them — unenlightened

Talking a lot, and nicely, to children is critical.

Children from middle class homes hear many more normal conversational words by first grade (5 to 6 years of age) than children in poor families (referred to as the 30 million word gap). The quality of conversation is also quite disparate between middle class (or higher) and working class (or lower) families. Poor children tend to hear far fewer conversational words; more command words; more negative words ("SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" as the kid is slammed into the seat on the bus) and far fewer positive words. Children in prosperous families are read to, hear many praise words, and much less negative or command language.

What difference does this make?

Poor children often begin school with more than a 2 year deficit in language. Not only do they know fewer words, their word response time is slower. They learn less well. Some children can not overcome these deficits even with tailored remediation. Children who begin school 2 years behind have difficulty catching up, and in fact fall further behind as time goes on.

You teach an infant to talk by talking to them and listening to them

Worth while topics are also important.

Like... what topics would you suggest for the average toddler <2 years old?

I usually refuse to give advise to future parents, most of the time they wont follow it any way.

And as each child is different I have no knowledge that could be applied universally accept to remind them that the kids will be the future of humanity so they should try not to fuck them up too badly.

↪Sir2u
Like... what topics would you suggest for the average toddle <2 years old?

Good question. Just what would a two year old be able to understand?
I have a nephew of that age that is a little slow starting to talk. When he comes over he has found out that I will lend him my computer to play on if I am not working. While all he really wants to do is paint, he will usually sit still for a few seconds while something is explained to him.

So I guess the topics should be things that will be useful to him /her as they interact with their surroundings.
Nonsense baby talk is definitely off the list of topics.

Something else.
I teach at a bilingual school and at the secondary level the kids biggest problem is expressing themselves in social settings because they spend most of their time studying subject specific words.

Nonsense baby talk is definitely off the list of topics. — Sir2u

Nonsensical baby talk isn't as nonsensical as some of the nonsensical adult talk here. At least baby talk serves a useful developmental purpose. If someone handed you a 9 week old puppy I bet you'd be emitting baby talk in 2 seconds. (Puppies respond favorably to baby talk; once they are 9 months to a year old, they don't respond to it more than they respond to normal language.)

While all he really wants to do is paint — Sir2u

Why don't you give him some finger paint, then he could enjoy actual tactile sensations as well as a computer screen. You could make some thick white unflavored gravy and then color it. If he ate it, it wouldn't matter (just don't use cadmium or chromium as yellow or blue tint. Stick to edible food colors.) Have him play with it on the sidewalk; when he's done, just hose the kid and the sidewalk off.

I usually refuse to give advise to future parents — Sir2u

I enjoy telling parents what they are doing wrong. It's usually so obvious, even the dog is appalled.

Teach them to always look for, enjoy, and revere Beauty, Goodness, and Truth. — Mariner

Basically this. (Y)

I'm still trying to figure this out.

One of the main things I already try to teach my 2 year old is to try-and-try again. Any skill takes time and effort to master. So I applaud her effort (even if I also think she's very smart). I don't want her to give up when it gets tough but to relish the challenge. If I can teach her that, she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to.

Also, apparently Dutch people in general are pretty relaxed about raising kids if happiness is anything to go about: Why Dutch Children Are the Happiest in the World

I think your children will absorb and reflect the environment they're raised in. What they want most is security, love, predictability, and the freedom to discover things for themselves. But their immediate family - parents first, then other relatives - are their most obvious role models, so they will reflect those influences first and foremost.

Also, if I was raising a small child now, I would curtail the amount of time they spend playing with electronic devices - smart phones and the like. I see toddlers on trains, transfixed by some game or another on some device they're holding. They need more time with good old fashioned objects, dirt, dogs, toys, building dams with rocks in a creek, going fishing and climbing trees. //end rant.

Like... what topics would you suggest for the average toddler <2 years old? — Bitter Crank

Whatever he or she experiences, of course. The world is full of wonders. Look at this car. Look at that tree. Our job is to open the curtains.

Also, if I was raising a small child now, I would curtail the amount of time they spend playing with electronic devices - smart phones and the like. I see toddlers on trains, transfixed by some game or another on some device they're holding. They need more time with good old fashioned objects, dirt, dogs, toys, building dams with rocks in a creek, going fishing and climbing trees. //end rant. — Wayfarer

Like everything else, moderation is important here too. But the electronic world is full of wonders too. And one may use it to show stuff which the kid would never see otherwise.

Truth be told, no parent can avoid the confession that sometimes you must give the kid some cartoon to watch, if only to catch your breath :D. We have lives too, and kids don't know that. I agree that it is important to restrain it a bit (otherwise the kid will always reach for the tablet or phone, it is simpler and closer than going outside, and we are Occamists at heart). We have had success by determining that cartoons are not to be watched in the morning. The time for cartoons is after the return from school (around 6 PM), for about one hour. But if we are in the mood, we invite him to watch a movie with us rather than just watching some cartoon. He enjoys it much more.

Starting from day one do not let your baby "cry it out". Recognize that typical babies generally only cry because a certain need is not being met. Almost always those needs are hunger, physical discomfort (pain, soiled diaper, etc.) or tiredness/need for sleep. A baby whose needs are met quickly and consistently develop confidence in their care and environment which in turn promotes independence and being well adapted as they grow into toddler years and beyond. Do not ignore your babies cries, instead, meet their needs.

Also, make a practice from an early age of telling your children what the correct action or language is to be used in a given circumstance, rather than only telling them their current behavior or language is incorrect. For example. If your 3 year old says, "give me that water right now!" Don't just say, that's bad. Tell them, "may I please have that water." In other words, give them the action or language that is appropriate for that instance. Reward behavior you want to see.

I'm like a combination of the philosophy of lead by example, and neglect. So, you know, I just continue on with what I do, and not really look at, or talk to them, and they figure it all out. Just like God does it.

Nonsensical baby talk isn't as nonsensical as some of the nonsensical adult talk here.

Aye Aye Aye, I wonder who you mean.X-)

At least baby talk serves a useful developmental purpose.

For tiny babies yes but talking to them normally has exactly the same effect so I don't see the value of it. It is positively damaging once the child starts to imitate others speech.

If someone handed you a 9 week old puppy I bet you'd be emitting baby talk in 2 seconds.

No I would not, and I don't care how cute he is either

Why don't you give him some finger paint, then he could enjoy actual tactile sensations as well as a computer screen.

Hell no. I leave that shit to his mother. She is a preschool teacher and she is used to cleaning up the mess.

Have him play with it on the sidewalk; when he's done, just hose the kid and the sidewalk off.

Where I live there are no sidewalks, only dirt roads. They say that it will be paved within the next five years, but they have been saying that for the last ten.

I enjoy telling parents what they are doing wrong. It's usually so obvious, even the dog is appalled.

I stick to telling them what their kids are doing wrong and let them figure it out from there.

Where I live there are no sidewalks, only dirt roads. They say that it will be paved within the next five years, but they have been saying that for the last ten. — Sir2u

Oh, dirt roads -- ready made sandboxes.

For tiny babies yes but talking to them normally has exactly the same effect so I don't see the value of it. It is positively damaging once the child starts to imitate others speech. — Sir2u

Well... I feel too inhibited to emit baby talk to a baby or a puppy if there are other adults in the room. But I've heard that it's useful for baby-parent bonding, and they all seem to do it. And infants don't talk that way when they learn to talk, merciful god.

Baby talk is vocal practise (which is 50% listening!) that babies are capable of imitating (the other 50%). Regular words are often just too hard and regular sentences have too many different sounds following each other, making them impossible to focus on in the beginning. Simple, repetitive sounds is what they can handle. The practice benefits them later on in forming words.

And what's a little embarrassment when you can give them a linguistic headstart? ;)

Songs are good. I used to keep our daughter in our shop quite often, and every time a bus went by, I'd sing 'the wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long. And that was her first word at 7 months - 'lor-li-lor'. Which is baby talk for 'all day long', which is unenlightenenedish for 'bus'. Go with the flow, and by one she was having whole sentence conversations with strangers on the train.I'll never forget the excitement of that first discovery, that sounds mean things - that big thing's got a name, and I know it!

I can't say that I've ever offered unsolicited advice to prospective parents about how they ought to raise their children, and I'm not sure how well received it would be. My guess is that I'd tell them what I did, and knowing that my children are without flaw, they should take my advice. — Hanover

Pay attention to the child's school! I don't know how we came to holding parents 100% responsible for raising children when it was a priority purpose of education to prepare our young for life and good citizenship. Our children are being destroyed and driven to suicide by their schools, communities, and online activity.

I believe the first school mass killing happened in the high school where my daughter was a student. We were new to the area and needed help because my X had abandoned us during the 1970s recession, when people were losing everything and it was next to impossible to get a job. A young man who needed help stayed with us for a while, as did many teenagers needing help, passed through our home. The school was so impersonal that no child got help.

At this time, a columnist published an article saying teachers should not have to waste their time with poor students. I was horrified and called him to discuss this. He was very proud of himself because so many teachers appreciated what he said.

The young man who entered the school ready to kill, had already killed his parents. His parents were teachers and lived in a good neighborhood, if you want to call a totally dysfunctional neighborhood a good neighborhood. His older sister was a model student and a good daughter. What could go wrong?

The principal was made aware of the fact that the young man was having a problem, and the principal in a school where teachers should not have to waste their time on poor students, mishandled the crisis that was brewing. A couple of days later, several students were shot. I think one teacher and a couple of students were killed. So much for teachers not having to waste their time on poor students.

Around this time, two of my daughter's friends ended up in prison for killing another female friend in a Satanic ritual. I think we are struggling to make our schools and children safe, and I think a return to preparing the young for life and good citizenship could turn things around. Between now and then, we need to be more realistic about what a parent can do, when our schools are no longer helping the parents raise the children, because the schools are preparing our young for a technological society with unknown values. The schools are a very important part of the problem and the solution. Parents can not prepare their children for life in a culture where people do not know values and do not what to help the children.

How to make a child into a good thinker is tricky... Trick them into thinking that learning is fun, or at least show them that the product of learning is desirable? — VagabondSpectre

Learning is a whole lot of fun. My school teacher grandmother had me draw a picture and then tell the story of the picture. She wrote my story and from then on, I believed I was a good writer. She played Scrabble with me and a card game called Flinch, then my uncle took over with Cribbage, Pool, and Chess. :grin:

My kitchen was a great laboratory when great-grandchildren visited. Baking soda and vinegar are amazing when mixed together. Filling a pan with salt water and then boiling the water out, leaves us with salt. Cooking foods that require measuring cups and spoons is a favorite way for grandmothers to teach math. And what can be more fun than nature walks?

Statistically, children who have active grandparents to visit do better.

Goodness, Athena; I've been waiting EIGHT YEARS! for your comment.

In the past eight years, from 2017 to 2024, there have been at least 579 school shootings in the United States, according to Everytown Research & Policy. This figure includes incidents where shots were fired on school grounds, whether or not there were any injuries or fatalities. The number of school shootings has increased in recent years, with 2023 having the highest number of shootings in the past eight years.

Here's a breakdown of the annual figures:

2017: 59 shootings
2018: 93 shootings
2019: 113 shootings
2020: 21 shootings
2021: 36 shootings
2022: 53 shootings
2023: 60 shootings — google ai

This is a quoted AI answer. Note that 2023 was not the year with the most shootings, contrary to what AI said. 2019 would be the peak. Covid cooled things off in 2020. Viva la virus.

Children should not be allowed to consult AI sources until they are at least 21 years old. Let them learn to think for themselves first. Adults who depend on AI should be locked out of AI for at least 5 years, or until they are able to think independently again.

Okay, your mention of gun violence led me to see if the local school shooting was the first school shooting. To my amazement, there is a record of school shootings dating back to 1840. Each one is explained.

I think we need to be more alert when dealing with teenage males. It seems this is a rough time for teenagers and especially males. Young men who have access to weapons may not be a threat, but if they are like Kipland Kinkel, excessively fascinated with guns, bombs, death, and killing, then all weapons need to be removed. Kip struggled with evil thoughts for a long time before he flipped out.

Primitive tribes handled this with rites of passage. Perhaps that is better than ignoring a serious problem?

Teachers aren't social workers and schools aren't community support systems. They are for educating kids.

I say this even if I bought into your idea that the government should offer such a high level of support for families. That is, if you want the government to do all this, do that, but don't ask teachers to do things other than teach. They didn't sign up to raise other's kids or fix the world's problems.

Read and talk about Plato with them.