if I believe that a gay person should act a particular way that has nothing to do with the definition of being gay, that's gender based on my culture. If I believe a schizophrenic should act a different way that has nothing to do with the definition of being shizophrenic, that's comparable to gender.
This is the exact comparison with sex and gender. To be gay, you must be a male who finds other men sexually attractive. That's it. Whether you like Lady Ga Ga or not is irrelevant. Whether someone believes that to be gay, you must like Lady Ga Ga or not is irrelevant. People's beliefs in how you should act, dress, etc as a gay man do not alter the fact you are a gay man. — Philosophim
When the term ‘gay’ because popular, it was seen by the general public as strictly a description of same-sex attraction and nothing else. When I recognized myself as gay, the term meant much more to me than this. It referred to my gender, not in the way you mean gender as an arbitrary whim or compulsion to exhibit some behavior disconnected from any larger pattern, but gender as a constellation of behaviors caused by an inborn perceptual setpoint. i think the rise of interest in the concept of transgender among the public is making up for the fact that terms like ‘straight’, gay’ , ‘lesbian’ and ‘bi’ that refer exclusively to who one is sexually attracted to are just the tip of the iceberg. As descriptors, they leave out what people are belatedly coming to realize constitute much richer aspects of gendered personality that just the fact of knowing who one chooses to sleep with completely misses , even though it is inextricably linked to these richer aspects of personality.
What you are advocating for is that someone's stereotypes, be it racism, sexism, classism, etc, should be the sole decider of one's objective identification — Philosophim
Let’s talk about stereotypes and sexism. I think you might agree that the concept of a stereotype depends on the association of a particular meaningful content with some aspect of someone’s behavior, and that content is treated in an over generalized way, forcing all sorts of differences into a single category which does not fit them.
Now let’s think about my previous discussion of perceptual setpoint and the terms I used to attempt to describe the patterns of behavior that I suggested are generated by the relative masculinization or feminization of setpoint.
As in the choice of any particular terms, my descriptors could easiliy lend themselves to stereotyping. In fact, I would argue that settling for any specific contentful terms , such as masculine and feminine, guarantee stereotyping.
But the reason that I introduced to you my notion of perceptual setpoint was not at all to assign and lock in place a certain set of concepts , a laundry list of specific behaviors that we must then force all of us into (masculinity means THIS set of traits and femininity mean THAT set of traits).
What I was trying to demonstrate was that gender, like many other personality traits or dispositions, is inborn and, while it evolves in its expression as we mature, has a relative stability over the course of our lives. In addition, while no two people share the same gender, there are close overlaps among elements of the larger community which make it possible for individuals with a particular gender to recognize themselves in a subcommunity and as a result feel a closeness to other members of thar subcommunity on the basis of overlapping gender behavior that they don’t feel with those outside of that subcommunity.
Th concepts that are key here are shared or overlapping patterns of behavior. The concepts that are not useful to me are specifically locked in descriptors of the supposed content associated with terms like masculine and feminine.
Discovering that one is on the autism spectrum can be tremendously empowering in two different ways. First, it ties together a range of behaviors in oneself that makes one different from the norm and unifies them. It thus allows one to understand one’s own self better and is thus liberating. Second, it allows one to discover an autistic community within one can not only feel ‘normal’ , but can politically empower one to question why autistism needs to be pathologized or ‘othered’ by the mainstream. Just as with concepts of masculinity and femininity, the definitions of autistic behavior and causation undergoes change all the times. Each era temporarily locks in its own assumptive vocabulary of autism, what it is, how it functions, what behaviors are associated with it and why. These are unavoidably forms of stereotyping, but each era’s stereotypes make way for the next era’s new
stereotypes.
My point is that one can make a distinction between an inborn, patterned , robust personality style such as autism or gender, and the specific stereotyped vocabulary used to nail down and label its behavioral features. The stereotyping labels are always slowly changing, without disturbing the underlying unified pattern.
So if I am agreeing with you that no stereotyped definitions of such things as masculinity and femininity can justify themselves, what is the value of my position? Simply this: it offers an enrichment of that ways we can understand ourselves as well as others. It can cause us to look for ways that the behavior of individuals and groups form personality patterns that better explain their motivations than isolated whim or compulsion. The goal is not to pigeonhole
others into categories based on already-formed definitions. It is to reveal a richer and more integral purposiveness in oneself and others as one interacts with them. I admire your attempt to protect the world from sexual stereotypes, but I think you’re throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
Again, this is sexist. Plenty of men do not want to be a decisive commanding male to a soft yielding female. Your attraction or lack of attraction to a woman is based on her sex. I'm straight, and my same sex simply does not turn me on at all — Philosophim
It ain’t that simple. Why and in what way the opposite turns you on is connected with your personal perceptual setpoint
as well as cultural factors. How you respond to manipulation of the physical and behavioral femininity of your partner on a multitude of dimensions is a direct reflection of that setpoint. If I were to readjust your setpoint, you would be astonished by the thousands of subtle ways in which your comportment toward your world would change.
I would like to refocus the point back on this topic. Lets take a perfectly normal XY man who wants to dress up like a woman and play sports competitively with them for fame, glory, and money, and give me a valid reason why they should be able to based on acting like what they believe a woman should act like. — Philosophim
While I have many issues with the idea of allowing a biologically male body to compete among biological
female bodies, given the fact that you don’t appear to have a concept of psychological gender, I suspect this may limit your engagement on this issue.