"Should we accommodate a trans-dolphin?".
Not until they can stir enough public awareness of their plight to incite the public to pressure politicians and lawmakers to mandate both fresh and salt water swimming access to all public buildings...
A bit of the issue causing controversy with this question seems to me really just a classic dichotomy with some new packaging;
the sacrifice of freedom or adoption of burdens in exchange for things like safety and equality that we make in our never ending political endeavors. How much individual freedom ought to be preserved or sacrificed, and what kinds, is in some cases too complex a question to give good answers. So let's partially side step that issue by answering this question as if we ourselves have a child determined to transition, so that then we're more likely to give answers concerned with what is best for them rather than what is best for a society closer to our own ideals.
Of course then we should allow people to transition. If they are already transitioning, and stopping them from doing so causes them more unhappiness and harm than whatever kind of harm we think they are doing to themselves by transitioning in the first place, then how could we morally interfere? If I could afford it, I guess I would probably try and help my hypothetical trans son/daughter to transition if I was convinced this was actually a healthy decision for them. In society and politics we already do monetarily support various kinds of
needs that not everyone has because we more or less want everyone to have a shot at happiness; wheelchair access for the wheelchair users is one sturdy example of this.
But when it comes to "accommodating" transsexuals, there aren't very many ways in which we actually have the opportunity to do so. In a way transsexuals accommodate the world around them in every way possible by putting in ineffable degrees of effort to achieve a state of "pass" (which means people either cannot tell they are trans or are perceived as the gender they present as). Once they achieve a state of pass, we lose the ability to police them because they blend in too well, and so the discussion becomes moot in that regard (transsexuals have been getting away with public bathroom-use ever since public bathroom-use became formal). The further a given transsexual is away from a state of "pass", the more uncomfortable we seem to be with "accommodating" them by
not disallowing them use of a preexisting bathroom (not coincidentally, the less likely they they are therefore to attempt to do so). Whether or not a person is genuinely transgendered and not just a
sexual predator in a wig is the source of this discomfort, but it is simply not reasonable to suggest gendered bathrooms are any real deterrent to serious threats of sexual assault in the first place. Wig or no wig, "women only" sign or none, predators can still waltz right in, and same-sex sexual assault (I think that's a new one) can still occur. If you are afraid that you or your child will be sexually assaulted in public bathrooms by sexual predators disguised as transsexuals, you might also want to consider one of the many other irrationally persistent and overly specific fears we commonly refer to as "phobias". There is still no name for
the irrational fear that classmate(s) of one's children will commit social suicide by playing a long con of pretending to be transsexual in order to get into their pants. What should we call it?
A soon to be even more controversial issue than the fairly vanilla topic of bathrooms is the topic of "pronouns". For transsexuals who
pass, obviously it's not a problem, but what if a transsexual who very distinctly does not "pass" demands to be referred to exclusively as their chosen pronoun? Society already handles this almost entirely on it's own. "Confusion" from whatever source leads to perceived misuses of pronouns, and then formal/informal requests are made by one party to alter the use of specific pronouns when dealing with that party. Whether or not that request is accepted or rejected in all situations comes with the possibility of social sanctions, both good and bad, being applied based on whether or not that request is accepted or rejected in that specific circumstance. Individuals who will not make small gestures of courtesy when asked look like douches, and businesses (and government) who likewise refuse common courtesy by always referring to someone as the opposite of the gender they identify with see plummeting popularity levels just as well. Consider this: I am a cisgendered male (meaning
not-transsexual). If you were to call me a girl, that would be kind of like calling me a boy if I was actually an MTF transsexual. To make it illegal to refer to a transsexual as the opposite of the gender they desire would also be to make it illegal to refer to me as a girl in a pejorative or name-calling sense. Do we honestly want to outlaw name-calling? I really hope not; only a pussy would want that.
"But Vagabond, they want us to pay for their operashuns!!!!!!". — internet
It's a valid question, and there's some startling answers out there. Being denied access to the medical requirements for an overall healthy transition (hormone therapy and counseling mostly?) can actually be seriously debilitating (depression leading to suicide is common), and so any approving parent of a transsexual teenager is going to for certain want such things included in their medical coverage. Full blown sexual reassignment surgery, if indeed is a healthy part or major step in the process of transitioning for some transsexuals, then yes, should be covered at a premium in the plan of any would be parents not willing to risk the health of their children or future financial insecurity. Whether or not you want private
or state funded medical coverage that includes it is a much larger conversation. Individuals and households who can afford to do so on their own already do, whether or not we can afford to include it in a state medical program is a question of relative wealth. If the state is wealthy, then yes.
Transsexuals who pay for their transition out of pocket, and do it successfully, currently require no accommodation from society whatsoever, and have likely made contributions to society it in the form of hours worked to earn the money required to pay for their transition, the taxes paid on those earnings, and the business given to one of many sectors of the medical industry. These are the sneaky bitches and bastards that will be violating our sacred bathroom laws for centuries to come, and getting away with it with us none the wiser, at least until we install DNA scanning tranny-alarms in the distant dystopian future of The Great Inter-Stellar Mormon Empire.
In summation, what people do to their own bodies, and what is in their own best interest, is pretty much not for unconcerned laymen to dictate. Some things people get away with, like watching a drive in movie screen from a nearby hill or using the bathroom of the gender that everyone thinks or considers you to be when they are wrong from a chromosomal standpoint, should not be either worried about or legislated against. Transsexuals who fail to "pass" are no more likely to commit sexual assault in a bathroom than anyone else, so why bar them? Use private bathrooms instead of public ones? But hey if you see Bill Cosby in a wig walk into a women's bathroom, maybe play it safe and hold it in... If a really manly looking
woman demands you refer to her as such, first and foremost consider whether or not they are manly enough to beat you up, but after that ask yourself how far out of your intuitive way you need to go in order to placate/appease/respect them in the given situation. If you don't like them and want to be offensive or have a point to make, go ahead and speak what you wish, but also consider the social ramifications resulting from how other people will interpret and judge what you say and how you say it. If someone demands that you refer to them as some pronoun they just invented like "ze/zim/zir/zey/zem", then you can in most situations get away with explaining to them that they can be satisfied with "he/she/they" like every other person and thing in existence or fuck off back to their preferred orifice of origin to continue gestating for a few months while they come to realize that the world cannot cognitively and syntactically revolve around their own eccentric obscurantism. Tell them that when people begin to use those terms regularly enough that you will just naturally and subconsciously adopt them into your patterns of speech.
When there are enough fully transitioned dolphin-kin out there swimming the the deep blue of the pacific, I'm sure that out of respect and admiration we will all use trans-dolphin culture specific pronouns where possible. So you see, while this issue is very deep, dark, and complicated, through echo-location like observational skills we can scan our environments for the porpoise and goal of successfully navigating what seem like unchartable waters.