Be still my heart and pour me a warm one.
Queen of Heaven cemetery is where most of my family is in the Mausoleum.
I know Mount Carmel Cemetery well as my Granny who lived in Berwyn was a devote Catholic and I remember seeing her dressed in this beautiful black skirt suit, all her curls in place, loading me and my brother up in the Teal Caprice Classic and drove to Mount Carmel Cemetery as we had so many times before but she was never dressed in black. When we got there, there was a HUGE building draped in swags of black and we stopped, walked to the building and prayed. She had taken us to honor the passing of Cardinal Joseph Louis Bernardin. The Cardinal was waked in the Holy Name Cathedral which is where my sister chose to be married. For me? It was Creekside in Oak Creek Canyon which might just be where I ask my ashes to be spread but for her, much like many back home, it was all about the Pomp and circumstance.
You make me smile when you speak of the newspaper in your parents shoes because in comparison, I lived the life of luxury as I got to use the plastic bread bags, three layers thick in my boots to keep my feet dry in the Chicago snow. There is some genuine gratification in knowing that you can make it with less material things and still be happy, if not happier than if you always got what you needed.
I hope the songs live on. I am doing my part and you are doing yours and that is the best if not the only! 8-)

A portion of your reply has been posted on The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution!

unenlightened, a portion of your reply has been posted on The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution!

The rest of it is: Wherever I may roam, on land or sea or foam, you'll always hear me singing this song, show me the way to go home." — Ciceronianus the White

(L) Ciceronianus, you will always hold a special place in my heart, for it feels like you have known the links, to the meaning of so much of my life that I took for granted. (L)

yes fine fine — Andrew

Good, Good. It is a pleasure to meet you Andrew. Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
Enjoy and relax, this is a safe place~

Are you okay?

Think what you wish but my first answer to the threads question was yes I love someone and that someone is me. Without my loving myself first, loving life does not flow easy. Once I accepted and loved myself almost unconditionally, it was easy to love others without casting expectations onto them but rather make sure the expectations I make are for me and only me.

And yes, the unconditional part is bullshit, never can happen, is impossible for a sane person. — Sir2u

Amen

Rich, I wanted to let you know that a portion of your reply has been posted to The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution.

It's interesting how great events, like the Big One and the Great Depression, seem to inspire memorable songs, some funny and some sad. I remember my parents, who lived through both, singing Mairzy Doats and The Hut-Sut song. From the Great Depression, you had Pennies from Heaven and Buddy, Can You Spare a Dime?, which for me evoke real pathos — Ciceronianus the White

I am so glad you responded Ciceronianus because it is this time of year that I miss my hometown. I can hear my Granny singing the Mares Eat Oats song that was usually followed by Edelweiss. My Granny was convinced of my singing potential and she was right which made her day because My Mom couldn't carry a tune to save her life. (L) Another song was apparently a drinking song but My Mom and I sang it while laying on either side of my Grampa, rocking, until he took his last breath. We must have sung the one line we knew a million times that night (L) The song lyric was "Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head..."

Good lord! I hope Jose keeps making that right turn and you guys get blue skies and calm waters.

@BlueBanana A portion of your reply has been posted on The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution.

Oh yeah, she is the queen and she knows it. Don't no one screw around with her and expect to win.

I was shitting myself when Harvey passed here, some of these recent hurricanes have been known to turn south. That would have been another disaster for us. — Sir2u

I was worried about you and yours and am glad to hear you are doing well.
As far as Mother Nature being Queen, that would make me her Princess. O:) <<<see that Halo? I found some really good duct tape to fix where I broke it ;)

Gotcha covered on that, — Sir2u

;)

Are you watching the wrath of Mother Nature? Hurricanes are her Fast balls, sometimes a curve ball but rarely a bunt. God throws Squirrels down from the trees for the dogs while Mother Nature destroys anything in her path. Why people curse or Thank God, while Mother Nature gets away scotch free, still puzzles me.

What is the source of bitterness? — Bitter Crank

Self imposed inflicted, implied expectations, on anyone but thyself.

Mares eat oats and Does' eat oats and little Lambs eat Ivy...

Please explain to me the logic that allows President Trump to end the Dreamers act in the name of "law and order" when he gave a Presidential Pardon to the biggest crook in the land, BEFORE a judgement was even handed down on Sheriff Joe Arpaio? Sheriff Joe broke an infinite number of laws, including but not limited to human rights violations', while consciously ignoring the judgement handed down that strictly forbid him for arresting people for being brown.

The hypocrisy is mind boggling but uncomfortably not surprising.

I knew I could count on you!
I Absolutely agree with you ~
Cheers!

You mean Elvis? What did he know about road building? — Wayfarer

No, I think he meant B.B. King and well he knows how to have people like Eric Clapton, who some call God, ride with him ON the road.

Better yet, have 2. Hanover will pay for them. — Sir2u

I did and also ordered a container of Häagen-Dazs to make White Russians with instead of the cream. 8-)

Oh dear Tiff, you posted Benkei's question regarding my membership to the Catholic church on the FB page? :P >:O — Agustino

Nope. Just this part

What if the Catholic church approves of gay marriage at some point in time? How does that affect the morality of same sex marriage? — Benkei

unenlightened, a portion of your reply has been posted to The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution!

Benkei, a portion of your last response was posted on The Philosophy Forum Facebook page. Congratulations and Thank you for your contribution!

Gasoline? Really? And you Sir, Marshmallows? Did you want some chocolate to go with that? >:O
I'm PMSing, empty nesting, playing Nurse to a sick husband and my Mother in Law is due back in September. Are you REALLY going to risk denying me chocolate?

It is what it is. — Posty McPostface

See this line _____________________? >:o

When the world gets dark and you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark and have a little faith in me....

Same Love Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (Mary Lambert)

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay
'Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She's like "Ben you've loved girls since before Pre-K, trippin'."
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math like, "Yeah, I'm good at little league."
A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant
For those that like the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a pre-disposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don't know
And "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don't know

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
"Man, that's gay" gets dropped on the daily
We've become so numb to what we're saying
Our culture founded from oppression
Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
"Gay" is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk-outs and sit-ins
It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that's not important
No freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it

(I don't know)

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

We press play, don't press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
'Til the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn't gonna solve it all
But it's a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it's all the same love
About time that we raised up

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
(Not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(Not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I'm not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(Not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I'm not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(Not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I'm not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
Love is kind

It could've been other than what it was. — Nils Loc

Now this one I could take a liking to but it would contradict my Sunny disposition. ;)

Everything happens for a reason. Say what you will about it, but it is what it is. — Nils Loc

Haha! I see what you did there. :) Adorable you are!

It is what it is. — Posty McPostface

~raising an eyebrow at you

Really now?

That's an official standard utterance for Neo-Advaitists. ...but Neo-Advaita would be a whole other topic of dismay and annoyance. — Michael Ossipoff

Hiya Michael Ossipoff! Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!

Bloody useless degree if they didn't give cat language classes. :D — Sir2u

Or if they make you get your mind out of the gutter O:)

It pisses me off when people say "It is what it is".................GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

~wicked grins
Maybe after my second cup of Joe

My efforts at negotiating aren't working. — Hanover

Wait, aren't you an attorney? Did they not have a "Mediation" class in Law school?

I think I messed that up didn't I. — Sir2u

Nah, Sir, you didn't mess it up, you just confirmed for me that you actually read what I posted and THAT will never be "messed up". (L)

Time to celebrate our youngest Indian going to college next week. Just our inner circle, the four that makes my world complete. Cheers to Knowledge and the pursuit of a higher thinking and a good dose of luck that the base education of books and life, we have provided him till now, will be enough for him to grow from.

This is hardly the "Last Word" but it is my favorite poem of all time:
an excerpt from
"The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
"Speak to us of Children".
And he said:

Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable.

You can't change how you perceive something — BlueBanana

Yes, you can change how you perceive something.

Have you actually experimented with this idea? From what I've observed it doesn't work, but the idea is somewhat in vogue. — Rich

When I first was shown how the theory can work and how well it works, I took it on as a "tool" to add to my coping with life "toolbox". It is not the only tool but it is an effective one once you are able to do it.

Changing perspective does affect how one might react, but results are always unpredictable as are all things in life. There just isn't such a thing as being able to control how one reacts, only change. — Rich

Let me show you by an actual example that has worked for 25 years of my life and although you might not completely relate to my example, if you try the theory, you will see that it can work.

I was seeing a Social Worker in regards to my childhood and some of the garbage that I was carrying unnecessarily into my adult life that was beginning to affect my marriage. In the process of trying to heal my past and stabilize my current life I was taught a bunch of "coping tools" through CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and some worked, some didn't. The tools that did work I took with me and I left the rest.

The real life experiment consisted of something that I really wanted to have more of in my life but that my husband could feel taxed about my need of at times and something that my husband did on a daily basis that drove me crazy and that I had tried to work with him about but to no avail.

What I wanted more of? Hugss from my husband
What daily habit of his drove me crazy? Him leaving his wet towel on our bed.

So my therapist and I took those two opposite emotions and began to change the only thing we could which was my perceptions. He told me what he actively wanted me to do for two weeks and report back to him if it had any influence, good or bad. He said for two weeks when you make the bed and see that wet towel on the bed I want you to change your thought of frustration, into that towel being your husband's hug that you are wanting more than he wants to give.

Needless to say I laughed at him, asked if I could get my money back for that session because all he was telling me to do was to foster this bad behavior of his not picking up after himself. He said that may or may not change over time but YOU can change your perspective of what it means to YOU to have him place that wet towel on the bed. I did as he asked and reported back two weeks later and I said it was working a little bit but I still thought I was letting him get away with me picking up after him. He asked me to try another two weeks of it and by 4 weeks the wet towel on the bed no longer felt disrespectful but not a hug either. By about month three I began to feel like he had thought of me when he left the wet towel there and didn't mind hanging it up.

The change in my reality really showed up when we moved into a new house and the bathroom bedroom setup was different. My husband began hanging up his own towel and not leaving it on the bed and the first time I saw the bed without my hug, I was sadly stunned. Which of course made no sense to my husband because he thought I WANTED him to hang up his wet towel, which soo many years ago was my desired change in him but now? It felt odd.

I explained to him why my perspective over the wet towel had changed and that it now represented a hug from him and it blew him away. He couldn't believe that was the reason I no longer nagged him about it but it was and is the reason why. Even as recent as this morning, there is a wet towel at the end of the bed and we both know why and yes, when we get into disagreements, he has been known to hang up his own wet towel. ;)

You seem to take this as a premise. I want logical reasoning to back up this claim. — BlueBanana

I'll take a stab at the logical reasoning you are looking for "How you think is how you will feel."
If each of our realities are made up of OUR perceptions, then to change our reality, we need to begin with changing OUR perceptions. Once we understand that we can control how we feel by changing our perceptions we can make the assertion that how we think is how we will feel.

Does that help?

And they're always glad you came~ You want to go where people know our troubles are all the same, you want to go where everybody knows your name...