Poem 2 : "Worsening Situation"
Like a rainstorm, he said, the braided colors
Wash over me and are no help.
The poet said, like a rainbow there’s too much to take in, to deal with. I can’t grasp hold of anything. I’m lost.
Or like one
At a feast who eats not, for he cannot choose
From among the smoking dishes.
So he goes hungry, no sustenance from the world, no poems to be made. There’s nothing there for him despite the plenitude.
This severed hand
Stand for life, and wander as it will,
East or west, north or south, it is ever
A stranger who walks beside me.
A writer’s hand that doesn’t work any more. A hand free to do as it wants, but not what I want.
O seasons,
Booths, chaleur, dark-hatted charlatans
On the outskirts of some rural fete,
The name you drop and never say is mine, mine!
O people, the world, you throw my name, the poet, around without thought of me. What do you care, what do you care of poetry?
Some day I'll claim to you how all used up
I am because of you but in the meantime the ride
Continues. Everyone is along for the ride,
It seems.
You wore me out, used me, took everything, Nothing changes. Everyone takes. I can’t do it.
Besides, what else is there?
The annual games? True, there are occasions
For white uniforms and a special language
Kept secret from the others.
But what else can I do but keep on trying to write poetry. It’s the same old things. Sometimes I lose my way, or think I’ve found a way, my mind, I get lost, the things I thought, seek help, diagnosed as sane, cured, then back to it.
The limes
Are duly sliced.
You have to take the bitterness with everything else, the good with the bad.
I know all this
But can't seem to keep it from affecting me,
Every day, all day. I've tried recreation,
Reading until late at night, train rides
And romance.
I know nothing changes, I know this is how it is. I keep busy, But I have sleepless nights, obsessions, worries. Nothing helps.