Comments

  • Wouldn't we be better off without most of the labels we apply to ourselves?
    No. Inner directed people rely more on their own, developed beliefs, priorities, and self-confidence to decide what they should do. They tend not to care so much about what other people think they should do. Other directed people tend to reference their peers, authorities, social norms, and so forth to get directions about what to do next. It isn't all one or all the other. Of course, we all rely on our own sense, and the sense of the group, when we make decisions. It's a matter of emphasis. — Bitter Crank
    But do you reckon that categories work to begin with? From my experience, it is possible to move from one category to the other, so I think things can be more fluid than that. That's largely why I don't find labels that useful, since when we apply a label, we pretend that so and so can only be that way, as we have labelled them.

    The independent soul and his different drummer can be terribly mistaken about their marching orders. — Bitter Crank
    I think there is a difference though. The independent one seems to me to be inherently superior (not in an existential sense) to the other one, because the independent one can achieve a degree of freedom that is unavailable to the other one. In other words, he seems to have a "skill" that the other lacks. Am I wrong about this?

    "Narcissistic personality disorder", to use a currently popular label, is much more precise. — Bitter Crank
    Hmm I don't think such labels work very well. I think people are a lot more fluid than the labels. The labels may be pragmatically useful at various times, but they don't really tell us about who those people really are, or what they're really thinking. It just allows us, in some limited circumstances, to predict behaviour.
  • What do you live for everyday?
    I think the problem is that I spent a good portion of my life chasing the wrong points, and the consequences of those actions are interfering with my chasing the right points... haha — CasKev
    I think more important than chasing the right or wrong points is chasing what Nassim Taleb calls optionality - the possibility to change route at any time. You never want to corner yourself.
  • Please allow upvoting and downvoting
    We all know Buxtebudda would upvote nearly everything Agustino would write. — Akanthinos
    Man @Buxtebuddha, these people do seem really confused >:O
  • What do you live for everyday?
    Thoughts of the ultimate pointlessness of existence have less power when I maintain this feel-good regime. — CasKev
    Why is pointlessness even relevant? If existence had a point it would be rectilinear... no just kidding. If existence had a point, you'd be complaining why does it have a point?! Now you're not free to do whatever you want, you have to chase this point! And failure to reach that point will be terrible. You cry now, when it has no point, but just imagine what you'd be doing if it did have a point >:O
  • What do you live for everyday?
    ↪JustSomeGuy
    Also, @Wosret's advice which I have recently started following has proven to be very good too. It's called not giving a shit about what happens. Or in more formal terms, as Krishnamurti said, the secret is not to care what happens next (and by that, I don't mean not to want certain things to happen, but rather not to be attached to them happening).
  • What do you live for everyday?
    I continue to exist because I can't bear the thought of causing unwanted suffering in others, even though I would likely not be around to witness it. I also fear the result of a failed suicide attempt, ending up with an even worse set of circumstances (partial brain damage, paralyzation). — CasKev
    Why are you in such a hurry? Wait a little longer, we all die anyway. You will not escape from that, so don't be worried. Just hang around as much as you can, death will come by itself anyway.
  • What do you live for everyday?
    The concept of hubris is as old as the Greeks, maybe older! — schopenhauer1
    Yes, what about it? You mean to say that I'm a prime example of it? :D
  • What do you live for everyday?
    Anti-depressants. — matt
    No. Those don't give you energy, you just no longer feel sad.

    Exercise and eat healthy. — matt
    To a certain extent. Those are good, but they already require energy to undertake.

    What can be done, though, by someone with low psychological energy (depression) to remedy their situation? — JustSomeGuy
    I'm not really sure. I can distinguish between the two states, and it is like seeing the world differently when you switch between them, but that switching is difficult. It's like seeing one object red, and then suddenly seeing the same object yellow. It's hard to give a "how" - you see, looking for a "how" seems to be part of the problem, since depression and low psychological energy often lead to rumination and compulsive thinking. So seeking a "how" is often a compulsive thing and is actually a manifestation of the problem.

    To give an example. When I was 12-14 and played video games, I remember that I would often end up compulsively researching how to be the best at a certain game (say Counter-Strike), rather than actually playing the game. It was so hilarious because I was reading about "What is the best weapon?", "How To Get The First Shot In", "How to get more headshots", and other such questions, and I spent more time compulsively researching than actually playing. And each of those questions didn't really have a clear answer, but there were a whole host of competing answers! So, I kept jumping from answer to answer thinking I now have the holy grail and can finally play at my best (that thought and good feeling didn't last long, soon I was back to compulsive research after I started doubting each of the answers I had read :P ).

    I think in life many things don't have a how, and most people do things without having a how. A how is not necessary. You don't need a how to move your legs, you just do it. It is the mind that creates the problem. Before you first kissed a girl, you were so worried about "how" - how to do it? And then when you actually do it, you find out that the "how" is irrelevant, because you don't follow it anyway - you just do it - naturally - the same way you move your legs.

    There are a lot of contributing factors for low psychological energy though. Beliefs, attitudes and expectations are part of it. If you have the wrong beliefs, the wrong expectations and the wrong attitudes, you're going to dig yourself in a hole. Studying stoicism is useful in that regard. Mindfulness also helps bring those into awareness and learn to manage the underlying emotions.

    Being around negative & discouraging people is another thing that can pull you down, depending again on your beliefs, attitudes and expectations. For example, growing up, my family was always very negativistic, pessimistic, and discouraging of everything. So I internalised this very negative attitude and pessimism. So if you let what other people think or say of you, then you can be in trouble. For example, if someone says "You can't do X", and you let that affect you, then you may really be unable to do X. A healthy attitude to have towards what others say is to realise that what they say objectively does not affect what you're capable of or not. So if they say negative things, they're actually doing you no harm - the only moment when harm is done is if you take what they say as truth. So depending on your social circumstances, your age, etc., you may have to live around such people, sometimes, if you're married to such a person for example, for your whole life. So then you need to adjust so that you don't react to negative things they say about you anymore.

    Another issue is that you may not accept being a certain way. For example, maybe you're an introvert and prefer to spend time alone, but your society pushes you to live like an extrovert - then no wonder you'll be miserable so long as you accept what your society forces on you.

    Also, social expectations can pull you down. For example, you may not have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and your society tells you that you must have one to live a worthy life. So then, you may be depressed, thinking that you're in a really bad place, and you're doing something wrong. So learning not to care about social expectations, and love your fate, is also quite freeing.

    And the other issue is when you're too much goal-focused rather than process focused. When you're goal-focused and things are going great - then you'll be ecstatic and you will have abounding energy. But when you're goal-focused and things aren't going great... then you will often lose energy very quickly. One way to be less goal-focused is to not care about the result so much. So, for example, you can play chess always thinking about winning, or you can play chess focusing on what's the next move you should make, and not caring if you win or lose. The process-focused way seems more sustainable psychologically. Obsession with winning is, paradoxically, one of the things that can prevent you from winning.
  • What do you live for everyday?
    Those who are restless and anxious, always running from this and that and not knowing what to do - they are to be pitied, for they are already dead. To be alive means precisely to chase after this and that, for no other reason than the chase itself. It is overflowing energy, which must be dissipated - those who are restless and anxious, they have very little energy, and therefore they don't do anything, and are depressed. But how is it possible that intense energy flow through a man or a woman, and not have them move mountains?

    Depression is just that - a low energy state - we're talking of psychological energy here. You barely have energy to even get out of bed in the morning... you struggle to even brush the teeth! To take the same toothbrush every day, and every day do the same old motions, over and over again. That must take great energy - and when there is little energy, it becomes a chore, almost impossible to do.

    And yet, there are people in their 90s, crooked and barely able to move, and yet they do move and don't complain. Why? Because they have great psychological energy - their bodies may be old, but their minds are young.

    And then, there are people in their 20s who stay on their bed the whole day starring at the ceiling. Why? Their body is 20, but their mind is 90!
  • What do you live for everyday?
    But is it just fooling ourselves? Swinging from one hope-vine to the next; getting starry-eyed for lofty visions of grandeur? — schopenhauer1
    >:O >:O >:O No it's not. You may be swinging from one hope-vine to the next, I'm stuck on the same one.
  • What do you live for everyday?
    ↪schopenhauer1
    Building my business, learning more, faith, and helping my country, simple.
  • On utilitarianism
    Anecdotes.... — Thorongil
    Well, what kind of information would you expect when talking about high achievers? High achievers are by default exceptional and rare. You gave even less of an argument for the idea of philosophy being practically useless.

    Sure, if you're going to work as a philosophy professor it's very unlikely that you'll achieve worldly success. But that has little to do with your area of study, and more to do with what you choose to do with your time. Your chosen activity only impacts very few people. Although, even in that case it's not impossible. For example, Osho was a philosophy graduate who quickly rose to fame (and riches) due to his public debating skills in India.

    The fact of the matter is that philosophy gives one analytical skills, which are necessary in both self and other-understanding. You cannot achieve worldly success without understanding yourself and understanding others, since worldly success always comes from others anyway. That's why philosophy, law, psychology are all very useful in the world.
  • On utilitarianism
    That article doesn't answer the question of the title. It says that the number of philosophy majors has increased and then goes on to state how difficult majoring in it can be. So what? That doesn't prove its practicability. — Thorongil
    It also names George Soros, Carl Ichan, Peter Thiel, Reid Hoffman, Steward Butterfield, Carly Fiorina, and many others, all philosophy majors who have been extremely successful in a worldly sense. The idea that philosophy is not practical is bunk - certain philosophy is not practical, that's for sure. But to say that philosophy isn't practicable in-itself (as in all philosophy is not practically useful) is to think that being an idiot is an advantage in being successful, which it clearly isn't.
  • Beautiful Things
    Show us some of your own. — T Clark
    :’( I really don't have any. Almost never take photos, except crappy ones lol.
  • Beautiful Things
    Sunrise at Wadi Rum in Jordan. Blew my mind away. — TimeLine
    Very powerful (Y)

    Street art in Tel Aviv — TimeLine
    *shakes head*...
  • On utilitarianism
    as it has little to no practical utility. — Thorongil
    That is a very doubtful statement.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/10/is-philosophy-the-most-practical-major/246763/
  • Cryptocurrency
    ↪Ian
    And you think I'm a fool - persistently?! That's not good and I don't like that. An apology and honesty would work better! This forum has guidelines for a reason, and they can always be implemented.
  • Cryptocurrency
    Do you not believe me? I'm not sure what your trying to communicate with your last two posts. — Ian
    I'm trying to communicate that you ought to be honest with me, and not try to pull my leg.
  • Cryptocurrency
    Not into it, huh? — Ian
    Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained. — Tao Te Ching
  • Cryptocurrency
    ↪Ian

    No reason really. I ended up with about 10 different crypto products and mostly just bought very small amounts of the ones with the largest gain % in 2017. I'm not expecting much but it's fun. I feel like 2018 is gonna be big for all this. Have you purchased any? — Ian
    >:O
  • Cryptocurrency
    Just bought $100 worth. I might get some ripple too. — Ian
    Why Ripple over XRP?
  • #MeToo
    Council advises that I not discuss the cases publicly until after litigation. — praxis
    Oh wow >:O >:O >:O
  • #MeToo
    It's no bother to acknowledge that so something else must be at play. — praxis
    >:) oh dear... >:O seems very conspiratorial
  • #MeToo
    Ignoring someones distress is neither emotinally supportive or cognitively helpful. — praxis
    It can be, if you presume that the person in question has sufficient reason in them to realise they are wrong. Ignoring someone that way can perform the function of getting them to re-assess their emotions before having a discussion. When we're in the throes of emotion, we're not necessarily the most rational.
  • #MeToo
    That would especially be a time for support or to help inject reason. And you suggest I'm a dick? — praxis
    Yeah, you inject reason by not doing anything about it, and having her reconsider.
  • #MeToo
    ↪praxis
    Maybe the guy adopted Krishnamurti's attitude not to give a damn about what happens... >:O

    From here.
    Krishnamurti went on to give countless talks at which he frequently implied that his audience shouldn't be wasting their time listening to spiritual talks. But perhaps the most striking was a 1977 lecture in California. "Part-way through this particular talk," writes Jim Dreaver, who was present, "Krishnamurti suddenly paused, leaned forward and said, almost conspiratorially, 'Do you want to know what my secret is?' " (There are several accounts of this event; details vary.) Krishnamurti rarely spoke in such personal terms, and the audience was electrified, Dreaver recalls. "Almost as though we were one body we sat up… I could see people all around me lean forward, their ears straining and their mouths slowly opening in hushed anticipation." Then Krishnamurti, "in a soft, almost shy voice", said: "You see, I don't mind what happens."
  • #MeToo
    (1) Clearly it bothered Tiff. That alone is a reason to bother. — praxis
    If your wife is bothered by something it's not necessarily a reason for you to bother. She may be bothered by something irrationally for example.
  • How much can I, as an individual, affect political policy?
    A lot. — ssu
    Yeah.... if you control the military, no doubt >:O
  • #MeToo
    The top head represents reason, if I'm not mistaken, therefore perhaps the conversation was impaired by... something more base. Clearly the brother's friend was a creeper, so why didn't hubby support? — praxis
    Hmmm I think you are thinking about something... very evil >:)

    >:O



    But apart from that, I think many times men (1) can't be bothered with what they take to be small things (afterall, the guy didn't really have sex with her or anything of that sort), and (2) they don't want to make a big fuss as that makes them appear weak.
  • #MeToo
    ↪praxis
    Praxis, is your avatar your lower head by any chance? >:)

    I think Tiff was quite clear that she was referring to her husband, and granted what she said, that she could not reason with his top head about the issue she presented, I think it was a fair comment.
  • Wiser Words Have Never Been Spoken
    ↪Michael
    I see you have perfected the art of out of context quoting ;)
  • #MeToo
    For this specific goal there's in my view no need to address the legal niceties of rape, sexual harassment and unwanted sexual advances. It's not about punishment, it's about creating awareness, staking out social territory by women for women to get this addressed and hopefully getting men to stop with rape, sexual harassment and unwanted sexual advances. — Benkei
    Yeah, but it's precisely because you don't see the larger moral context of the problem that the issue will not be helped much by the #MeToo movement. The issues are more complicated than this. You're not addressing why men are harassing women in the first place. You just want to bully them not to, through social means. So until you solve the underlying moral issues, and adopt a culture which doesn't put sex so much on the pedestal, this issue won't be addressed adequately.
  • #MeToo
    There was once a joke I heard. Jesus, in his travels and talks, cured a blind man. A few months later, He saw the same man chasing after the women in the street. And He called him and asked him: "What are you doing? I gave you your sight back, and now you're chasing after women?!", and the man answered "What else can one use their eyes for? Before I was blind I was chasing women, when I was blind I stopped, because I couldn't chase them anymore, and now that you have restored my eyes I am enjoying them!"

    The point of the joke is that some people cannot see the higher things in life. In this case, all that this man knew to do with his eyes, was to chase after women. He could see no higher use for his eyes than that. So when his eyesight was restored, what else could he do with it?

    Much of the population, even in the highly developed Western countries, lives in a morally infantile state. One shouldn't even bother to mention the third world countries. When I lived at the countryside as a child, my family had to help save a woman who was our neighbour, since her husband was cutting her with the sword if she refused to have sex with him the way he wanted. You think such a man could be educated?! Not in a million years!

    Question: How should I have responded to the following scenario that just happened to me.
    NicK and I were leaving out best guy friends house at the end of a party and as we were saying goodbye and hugging as we do, our friends' brother opened his arms offering a hug to me (first time I had ever met him) and I stepped into the hug with my arms around his chest and then went to release and as I did he said to me "Oh push your body hard against mine" in a moaning drunk way and I pushed away but he wouldn't let me go. Keep in mind NicK is saying goodbye to others and not watching what is going down but my friends' sister in law saw what was happening and I mouthed to her, help me with BIG eyes and she stepped right in and broke his hug on me and took it onto herself. Why did she do this? Not because she wanted that kind of attention but she felt the need to help me and I am forever grateful. She intervened because she understood how uncomfortable I was and likely because it was her home that we were in but either way that time it ended gracefully.

    So when NicK and I got in the car I explained to him what had happened and he dismissed it as the guy just being a "huggy" kind of person. I called bullshit on NicK because I am a "huggy" person and I have never uttered such words to a man while embracing and NicK still, today, believes that I am over-reacting. Am I? I don't even want to be around him because knowing NicK doesn't have my back on this makes me nervous, not because I don't know how to put an end to it but because of the ripples within our friendships it would cause if he were to do it again and still not hear me and make me call him out on it.     — ArguingWAristotleTiff
    Yah a similar thing happened to my mother once with someone from our family, except worse, since that person kissed her on the lips that time (while he was meant to kiss on the cheek, as it is traditional). When my father heard, he dismissed it too. That kind of stuff is sexism that has been internalised by the culture as acceptable in my opinion. So it's very difficult to convince people who think in this manner that they are wrong.
  • #MeToo
    Agustino I can understand your not getting into the middle of customs in another country on the first night but why would YOU condone that behavior by returning to the club with him day after day? — ArguingWAristotleTiff
    I did not go with him to the club, he was there, and he knew me, so he came to me to do what every man wants to do - impress the other with his skills. And I did not return to the club that often, but he did.

    And I did not condone the behaviour, I didn't oppose it, since nothing could be done. You think I could have stopped him? He would have done it anyway, he didn't need me. It was very rare that he failed to get a girl - that was one of the nights when he would complain that "all the pussies suck tonight". And he wasn't alone actually doing this, he had a group of guys who were all doing this.

    The second thought is that if "your colleague" had behaved that way in the states on the first night he might not have been tossed out by the establishments' management but by the second night and women were NOT receptive to his behavior, he would be escorted out. Any establishment worth their salt are not going to facilitate this unwanted behavior for fear that at some point they might be held legally accountable. — ArguingWAristotleTiff
    Yeah, he often got kicked out of the club, but that's not much of a problem for someone like him, since they can always go to another club. And the bouncers at the club aren't always the same, hard to keep track of who enters and who leaves. And there are girls who are receptive to such behaviour, he was actually very successful with women by the standards of Western society.
  • #MeToo
    Let that sink in: in a reportedly progressive society with assertive women who have no qualms about reporting this sort of thing to the police, 75% and 45% are huge numbers. — Benkei
    I agree, but the problem is the underlying sexual culture of Western society. On the one hand, this culture has made sex into a matter of self-esteem. That is why comments such as these:
    As a man, I don't have those fears to speak up about unwanted sexual advances because first off, I'm butt ugly so the chance of this happening is 0.0001% of that of an ugly woman. — Benkei
    and I have a micropenis — Benkei
    even make sense. That is why we - as a culture - speak with great admiration for the Don Juans of our society. If you can get in bed with lots of women you are respected and admired. So why is it a mystery that most of the uneducated (the majority of the population) men will do whatever it takes to attain to that position? And similarly, if you are a woman, and you can attract a lot of men, you are given high status - suddenly you are someone to look up to, someone whom other women should emulate.

    So why should I be surprised that sexual relations are some of the most abusive relations there are? It is entirely to be expected in this cultural environment. If you went on to speak with some of those men who grab women, etc. - which is a large majority of them - they would laugh at you. They would say, "you go do that, we will keep doing what we've been doing". They will say "you have a micropenis, so you want to stop people like us, with bigger tools, because you cannot compete with us". That is how they will approach this subject. They will say that you are a woman's slave, etc. So that's how the rhetoric will go. It will be impossible to change their minds. Even if you make a law against it, and enforce it, all that you will do is make them afraid, but inside, they will be the same, completely unchanged. So how will you ever get to such people?
  • Why was my comment to SLX deleted?
    No you may not. — StreetlightX
    Why not? What's wrong with my question?
  • Why was my comment to SLX deleted?
    Once again, my concern is this:

    If you think a person was wrongly accused and convicted of raping a child, are you a "child rapist sympathizer"? Yes or no? — Agustino
  • Why was my comment to SLX deleted?
    The article linked to was a conspiratorial hack piece. Anything thinking it worthy of debate is nothing other than just such a sympathizer. I'm not discussing this further. — StreetlightX
    That's not what I've asked, I asked you a yes or no question, so can I please have an answer to what I am asking you, and not to things that I've never inquired about?
  • Why was my comment to SLX deleted?
    "Racists, homophobes, sexists, Nazi sympathisers, etc.: We don't consider your views worthy of debate, and you'll be banned for espousing them."

    To this list one can add, with no mental gymnastics, serial child rapist sympathizers. It's pretty clear cut, and yeah, I don't consider the topic worthy of debate.     — StreetlightX
    If you think a person was wrongly accused and convicted of raping a child, are you a "child rapist sympathizer"? Yes or no?
  • Why was my comment to SLX deleted?
    Defense of convicted pedophiles and rapists depending on how it was presented could make you look like an apologist for them and qualify to be "obviously unsuited to the forum". — Baden
    The only way that would work is if you defended the actions of which they are accused, somehow seeking to make them excusable. But this wasn't the case here, where it is simply claimed that someone was falsely convicted.

    Now it would be appreciable if SLX could answer himself rather than having us imagine what he is thinking.
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