I like your tripartite schema. It makes sense to me, just empirically. It fits, it works.
Before I go into about the potential problems I see looming, a bit about me : White, cisgender, heterosexual male. Not classically (american) masculine - very much the opposite, really- but still, identifying as male.. I check all the boxes of a person who might not have a right to speak on this.
That said, I struggled greatly with body dysmorphia from late-elementary school til my mid-twenties. Very skinny, but thought I was fat. Was convinced that something was wrong and my face and body didn't have distinct outlines like other people. Obsessively worked out, and skin-pinched, and compared. Would leave parties when my sense of my physical sense of self started to melt like warm jello, dragging my psychological sense of self in tow. Never felt 'at home' in social roles, always felt like I was playing a role that didn't fit. (still essentially the same, but its cooled down a little, enough to punch in, punch out, and survive)
I don't offer that as a token of equivalence, or group membership. I just mean : This is the psychological point from which I understand this stuff, rightly or wrongly.
Ok, so, the potentially problematic stuff :
Sex speaks for itself, I agree with you there. Then: 'Sociological gender'
originally comes from behaviors/attitudes/self-presentations that developed from the way cultures handled differentiation of sex. 'psychological gender' is a further turn of the screw, which deals with
representations of sociological gender and our
bearing toward them. (It's more complicated, of course, because it's not just representation, but the hypercomplex interplay of representation and lived gender roles.)
Call this the postmodern gender status quo. Sex, gender, gender representation. This is what we grew up with (I'm assuming you're a millennial like me.)
The novel thing with our generation is making
explicit 'bearing,' as you perfectly put it.
The question is : should 'bearing' automatically entail recognition of the person as the thing they bear toward?
I say : No.
Let me qualify: If you have a bearing toward this or that and it works, then it works. I'm not saying we should enforce normative gender roles.
But. The reasoning is like this : The attractive, libidinal power - the thing that draws people, makes them
bear toward this or that role - is the sedimented structure of last-generation gender roles. and their representations. Those didn't come out of nowhere. History struggled and shook its way to this distribution of 'roles.' They came about, rightly or wrongly, from a life-and-death struggle (so for instance the fetishization of '50s housewife as 'feminine' par excellence comes from WW2 and how america handles the aftermath.)
Gender roles are grounded in the 'real'. The struggle is what lends power to those roles. Divest those roles of the historical thing they're grounded in and everything gets less and less attractive. Representations of representations of representations.
'Bearing' is in large part a bearing-
toward those things that you feel best express you, those roles which would let you live your 'authentic' life. But those roles are birthed from struggle. You can't change your bearing - I believe that - but you also don't have an automatic right to be recognized as the thing you bear toward. Once identification becomes equivalent to recognition, the very thing that makes those things worth bearing-toward collapses. An insatiable hunger ensues. 'If I only I was recognized as what I feel myself to be I would be happy'. That's a mirage. If everyone is recognized as what they feel, the worth of that recognition disappears. Being recognized automatically as what you identify as makes the worth of recognition evaporate. The
pull of those roles were based in early moments, living as a presexual being being molded in a real world. If there is no firm world, there is no pull.
And when that happens, and everyone gets to be who they want to be - the bad feelings sprout out somewhere else.