I appreciate your self-citations (hah), and I believe I understand your point quite well, but there's still a misunderstanding here. The basic issue is that I think you're posing a false dilemma:
either otherness has it's source in intersubjective relation(s) - what you call 'constructivism' -
or it stems from a more primordial "pre-reflective personal ‘I’ or interpersonal ‘we’". But do these two options exhaust the field of alternatives? No, they don't. There is a third way, one which doesn't simply locate otherness in the intersubjective relation,
nor in a mystical and wholly inexplicable pre-social sociality. While I agree with you wholeheartedly with your critique of constructionism, I still find your own account lacking on account of the fact that
it doesn't actually provide an account of this pre-social sociality. It just kind of posits it as a kind of brute
factum without in fact, providing any kind of developmental account of its genesis.
And while you might object that any such developmental account would simply lapse back into the constructivist paradigm which you're trying to avoid, I think this is manifestly not the case.
One can reject the thesis of intersubjectivity as the source of otherness/sociality while still being able to provide a developmental account of the the genesis of otherness. How? In recognising, first of all, that the ego's relation to the self
does not differ in kind to the ego's relation to others. That in fact, the very distinction between self and other is itself emergent from a more primordial sensorial field, James's 'blooming, buzzing, confusion' of the infant, Freud's 'oceanic feeling', or what child psychologist Daniel Stern referred to as the field of 'vitality affects', or 'life-feelings', "elusive qualities ... better captured by dynamic, kinetic terms, such as ‘surging’, ‘fading away’, ‘fleeting’, ‘explosive’, crescendo’, ‘decrescendo’, ‘bursting’, ‘drawn out’, and so on."
Importantly for Stern, at this level,
there is no self-other distinction: "infants experience these qualities both “from within” and “in the behaviour of other persons” such that "
the originary temporal structures of experience are cardinal in nature; vitality affects — surgings, fadings, and all such qualitative features of experience — are primary with respect to our experiences of ourselves and our experiences of others" (my italics). It is only
subsequently that these vitality affects become differentiated into self and other by processes of symmetry breaking, as it were. The infant learns to be a 'self' - or rather learns to 'locate' these (trans-personal) affects within a self - by means of coming to grips with the regularities of bodily coordination which break the symmetry between self and other. These coordination processes are those of if/then relationships: if 'I' move this shape like so, then such and such follows. Nothing happens if I try and move the shape over there, however. Ipso: this shape is 'mine'.
For the phenomenologist, Alphonso Lingis, the key here is movement: "movement .... mediates this identification [of my sensibility reflexively recognizing itself in sensuous opaquness]. For if I recognize this hand I see, these eyes I touch, as alive, it is because I perceive ripples of movement in them. I perceive there movements of the same types as those I feel within, by kinesthetic sensation, movement taking form in that sensation-field which is my body-zone felt from within - movements that are spontaneous, ego-originating, and teleologically structured, goal-orientated. ... Movement is the common term that permits perceiving as synthetically one a sensitive zone and a sensible substance perceived externally, because I have a double experience of body movement". Importantly, movement is no less the index of the other: "The consciousness that recognises itself in its own sensible form can recognise conscious life in the sensible form of another. The right hand that recognises touch in the left hand in touches can also, by the same sort of perception, recognise touch in the hand of another… the other’s conscious life is perceivable in the form of movements of his sensible body" (Lingis, "The Perception of Others", in
Phenomenological Explnations).
In keeping with this accent on movement, for the Deleuzian Brian Massumi, it is ultimately
speed which distinguishes self and other, subject and object: "What the body lends in the first instance is its
slowness, not its presumptive unity. The unity appears "Out there," in the greater-varying accompaniments to habit, as recognizably patterned by habit in such a way to reduce its complexity by a factor. The "out there" becomes an "outside" of things. The produced unity then feeds back "in." The oneness of the body is back-flow, a back-formation (as always, at a lag). The body's relative slowness returns to it, after a habitual detour, as its own objectifiable unity. Thus back-formed, the body may now appear to itself as a bounded object among others. Spatial distinctions like inside and outside and relative size and distance are derivatives of a greater "out there" that is not in the first instance defined spatially but rather dynamically, in terms of movement and variation" (Massumi, "Chaos in the 'Total Field' of Vision", in
Parables For the Virtual).
These are the kinds of developmental - but still phenomenological - accounts needed that don't simply reify
différance into a mystical ahistorical, free-floating,
anstoß that lodges itself here, there, everywhere, with no attention paid as to
how in this or that concrete assemblage, it makes itself felt. Demanding attention to specificity does
not mean having to choose one side of the false-choice between otherness as intersubjectively prompted or simply always-already at work, abstractly and unaccountably. There is no possible coherent reading that would locate someone like Deleuze as coming down on the side of intersubjectivity. For these readings, self and other, subject and object, are always a product of a differentiation, a process of mutual distinction, such that
différance must be 'played out' in some manner or another, is always materially incarnate, as it were, and not simply a formal-logico principle that transcendentally structures things from some Platonic beyond.