The word "pity" always sounds bad, but is it ever bad to pity someone? Going by dictionary definition you aren't looking down on them. Simply empathizing with problems they are having in their life which aren't necessarily permanent? — TiredThinker

Pity originally comes from the idea of ‘piety’, which is a quality of relating to others in a way that accepts the social order: such as respecting your parents and elders, religious obedience, or caring for the poor.

The most common use of ‘pity’ refers to a particular feeling of unpleasant affect in relation to accepting and empathising with the suffering and misfortune of others - interpretable as both sorrow and compassion.

Interpreting pity as sorrow affects the individual as a negative emotion, motivating them to reduce or express the unpleasantness in themselves. To do this, they could cry, say ‘I’m sorry’, give their spare change to charity, click ‘like’, pretend they didn’t see, or change the channel, among other options.

Interpreting pity as compassion affects an accepted relationship with others, motivating one to reduce relative unpleasantness by accepting suffering themselves and sharing their good fortune in order to reduce the relative suffering and misfortune of others - more closely aligning both experiences to some extent. They could do this by sharing a meal with a homeless person, giving more than feels comfortable, etc.

Pity is often differentiated from compassion by assuming the direction of intentionality, towards the self (pity) or towards others (compassion). Some observable actions are easier to differentiate in this way than others. But the idea is to recognise the difference in ourselves.

The word "pity" always sounds bad, but is it ever bad to pity someone? Going by dictionary definition you aren't looking down on them. Simply empathizing with problems they are having in their life which aren't necessarily permanent? — TiredThinker

My thoughts exactly but I fear some psychological disorder is at play in looking at pity in this fashion.

My own take is there are two kinds of pity but before that a definition of pity: the feeling of sadness you experience when you encounter someone who's missing something in life i.e. the person is, in some sense, not whole. I've heard people say, "so sad" when they saw a paraplegic.

The two kinds of pity:

1. Normal pity: X sees Y lacks something. X pities Y because of that which Y is missing out on. For example, If Y has a bad voice and X is a singer who's made faer mark in the music business.

2. Paradoxical pity: Y lacks something X has but X wastes that something, whatever it is. For instance, X is a talented singer but Y can't carry a tune in a wheel barrow but...X has no interest in music at all. In this case, Y pities X for X is, in a sense, no different from Y; it's as if X couldn't sing even if faer life depended on it and that's exactly how Y perceives faerself.

Perhaps the moral function of pity is wholly predicated on an asymmetry between the pitier and the pitied, the former being in a relatively "better position" than the latter. It's supposed to be that way is what I mean.

I think that your analysis of the way in which pity is the negative side of compassion is very helpful. It is about the way in which someone may look down upon those who are seen as 'unfortunate'. Pity is connected to feeling sorry for some other person, and can often involve a sense of superiority. In that way, it is different from empathy, which is about feeling the pain of another. Of course, it is complex because it may be easier to feel concern for another in pain when one is in more of a position of relative comfort than when one is experiencing acute distress too. Empathy involves an awareness and connection to suffering, but people may have limited experience of this, dependent on their experience of suffering. So, while empathy may be seen as the ideal perhaps pity is a starting point, for beginning to reach out to the needs of others.