Hello,

I am a musician and a creative writer from Italy and I have bipolar disorder -- I was diagnosed after an episode associated to a mystical crisis (more below in my dissertation)

I have my own theory of what is happening to me, it's just an idea which works for me and a result of conditioning (including from the Beatles!)

while physically needing to suggest my point of view is the reason why I am just releasing this on the internet, I'm not discrediting anyone's beliefs I simply had to write this and now I must show it to someone who may be interested to talk about it, question it, bash it or perhaps even find similarities with my view especially if they are bipolar like myself

thank you for your understanding: if the post doesn't conform then thank you anyway for considering this free sharing of my artwork :)


THE AWARENESS OF NOTHING

by UAFFO



we all are nothingness which can only self-identify manifesting in impermanent subjective reality

that which isn’t can be described as an irrational singularity containing possibility

nothingness is irrationality, not an entity and has no will by itself; it cannot be free to choose to be unlimited

the only reality is the singular subjective one through which everything will be experienced forever

matter energy space and time are encoded in nothingness and decoded by the individual without ever having to be created — the subjective experience was not invented either, it is simply the finite result of mere infinity

a stable objective reality is impossible without irrational concepts and a mathematical order

you can not be inside or outside of a void when you are not imagining something impossible

the logic and origin of numbers we use to measure and understand physics is only possible because duality is the first and foremost characteristic of an infinite point

true nothingness is binary; between zero and one there is infinity and this duality is reflected as logical realities found in the objective universe — two poles, two extremities, two sexes

the emergence of self-aware life proves that we are experiencing the ultimate possibility in which nothingness and infinity can be subjectively understood

all nothingness can be is unlimited — and this is enough for it to be the origin of all universes and not just our own, including ones which never saw the light of self-awareness

while nothingness didn’t consciously give way to existence it consciously exists in the individual who has no fear of death — he or she has accepted impermanence, understood the involuntary origin and destination of life and got rid of all doubt

the more we are aware the more we are free to act upon ourselves and the world even though we are never free to begin with — one’s awareness, if strictly conditioned, may decide it is preferable to be a slave of one’s given preconceptions, as it is true for stoics who believe any change would correspond to an imposition which would rob them of what they interpret as freedom

the awareness of nothing dies with the end of its limited and conditioned subjective experience of its involuntary objective universe

nothing is the snake which eats itself, containing all hate as well as all the love possible — even crocodiles, when cared for, can return sincere love

while it is possible to freely associate in the mind and come up with original ideas, crazy stories and mad beliefs, we are severely limited in doing so by the extent of our life experience

one must accept humans are carnivores and the whole world is addicted to violence

there may be two choices but only one direction can be taken

one should not detach from material pleasures even though their refusal, life without superfluous needs, is proof of a strong will — the big fish will always eat the small fish and the natural order cannot be changed; while it is possible to transcend the perception of the physical body with meditation, one is not cancelling the subjective experience of pain and pleasure in others

being one with nothing means realizing all subjective experiences of life are being experienced by the same entity at different levels of awareness, there is no soul and there is no god — good always means to realize and promote unity while bad means accepting illusions which separate us from this truth; sometimes however, because of the rules of nature and duality, bad things may be right and necessary just as good things may not be

one must not renounce to anything or change in any way to discover the nothingness within, but the meeting won’t happen if one is not prepared to renounce all illusions of life after death — it is also fundamental one fully realizes it is existing in all other beings at different levels of awareness at the same time and should always be respectful of nature and never hate the hate as it is in itself a form of separation

the most pleasure may be enjoyed by some when receiving pain but only when given by love

procreating is offering one’s offspring in sacrifice to give temporary existence to nothingness

if one gives him or herself completely up to nothingness he or she has conquered all illusions and living in the light of what is real

to be able to play and being one with others, to feel free to be who we are or whatever we want for the fun of pretending makes it well worth living

one should always be rewarded justly accordingly to skills and effort but apathy should be considered an irresponsible display of freedom

the concept of property is too strongly connected to earthly possession to ever cease to exist, as one is also connected to his or her own roots and irreparably defined by the conditioning of the parents as well as one’s culture and religion — even though one may be ready to accept their condition of mortality as ultimate, a part of their brain will unconsciously keep reminding them of the opposite

holding on to anger or grief will only fuel despair — all that was is gone and will never return again, and blaming others for one’s suffering won’t get rid of it

there is a way out of every cage but even Houdini couldn’t cheat death

in no future humans will give up competing for power and their attachment to possessions

nothingness is aware when one notices how he or she cannot help but be who he or she is — it may be free to evolve within the individual to the point of refusing its conditioning, but even the most empty monk is living an illusion of emptiness as he will always contain the materialistic reasons which brought him to conquer himself in this way

bliss resides in the ignorant man who never questions his conditioning and is like the bull unaware it’s on the way to the slaughterhouse

one can never be freed from the outside as what appears as freedom is in fact yet another source of conditioning — take everything written here with a grain of salt

one is never free to react as reactions are spontaneous and beyond one’s control — the reaction to any circumstance will be a sum of all knowledge, awareness, experience, conditioning acquired by the one, but when one has time to choose or reflect, one is free to question oneself; the dual relationship of one with nothing in reality is exactly that

artists and geniuses throughout history all had to confront a blank page to come up with something

the impossible wouldn’t be conceivable without one’s awareness of all that is possible; without this fundamental duality freedom wouldn’t be limited as it is, it would not even be possible as a concept, we would be like mindless robots who are only the product of cause and effect without ever being able to look beyond it

while not possessing the ability of conceptualization, and being aware to their own extent, all forms of life have a subjective experience and must be respected — it is easy for us to imagine what it must be like to be a horse, a dolphin or an elephant, up to us to be guardians of this eden which today is own and sold by devils which push fear and justify hate and rape of an ecosystem which took three point five billion years to develop

good is choosing improvement of self and embracing the idea we are one with everything and everyone, no matter how hard materialism perverts reality

evil is only choosing damaging of others for the gain of self and reinforcing the idea living beings should be abused for profit

one is never either good or evil

its easy to believe lies when the truth is unacceptable

just like a dog needs a master, man will always need a god and today it is technology and the worship of its wonders

while a master/slave architecture provides consistent results, other architectures such as a ring-type architecture are possible

one must look for peace in this world as there is no rest in death

nothing must truly be a perfect eternity for reality to be so beautiful and tragic

if one is seeing through the two eyes the company of animals is preferable

only those who understands the pleasures of making a difference with hard work and remain confident against all odds succeed where others fail

if your philosophy has always been to “be one” with something you do or love, you’ll probably get what I’m saying

I believe the world to be free if there is freedom of expression and no one is ever forced to believe or do anything against their will, for existence on this Earth would also equal imprisonment and not just slaughter

today’s traditions and beliefs are being homogenized by the process of globalization

without duality imagination could never substitute a harsh reality, and often one finds the most fun in life is to pretend

imagination has real power over minds in this ephemeral reality — no one can escape the charm of stories and the magic of illusion

all stories go from A to B and without some kind of conflict to resolve there is no narrative movement

living in total denial is perfectly fine as long as one doesn’t use this as an excuse to hurt others

the word talent was originally used to define a unit of weight

life started out as mono cellular being which soon after evolved into a multicellular being which had an entry and an exit and then never changed this basic form, only being able to develop around it

to question any statement against one’s judgement is both a way to assess its validity and assert the experience of one’s awareness

music contains deeper and most immediate truths than any conceptual stripping of reality, and is the best place for the expression of feelings

one must be prepared for judgement if he or she is to share one’s subjective truths: Jesus Christ went through crucifixion rather than disprove his subjective truth

it’s much easier just to believe what we’re told as figuring it out by yourself is a difficult and dangerous road

one should think more often about the privilege that is happily falling asleep

the subjective experience of nothingness is always Shiva — a universe where said singular awareness happens to exist physically and contemporarily in all subjective points in the infinite eternal instant of its singularity

space and time strictly depend on subjective perception — organized information decoded by the biological senses

being alive now gives sufficient evidence to the probability it will happen to us again, for the subjective experience can be one and only one and if it’s happened once, it will happen again — all is lost of the individual we are today but the near endless ripples of one’s existence which will ultimately be lost with the inevitable end of the objective universe

there is awareness of nothingness only subjectively in living beings and that awareness of living beings ends with death and that is a very hard intrinsic limitation for nothingness’ awareness to accept

no personification of a concept may exist and Shiva is just a name one uses to recognize he or she knows the origin and oneness of awareness, understanding that while existence should be enjoyed and made enjoyable all connection with the individual will end as there are infinite more lined up for eternity to experience, willing or unwillingly, knowing or unknowingly — all the awareness will ever know is always lost as it is contained in an experience that always ends

life prolongation doesn’t really fix the problem and no advanced being will ever reach true immortality or manage to revert entropy

god is the awareness of oneness happening inside your brain; freedom is knowing you are the limited manifestation of the unlimited; death for the brain is permanent, however the subjective experience is one and only and all living things are sharing the same awareness of the same experience of life at the same time

only very deep markings may remain for a long time

if one is saddened by death it is because all awareness dies with the individual

awareness can only forgive and realize by itself its own wrong but in some people it’s completely perverted by conditioning which has brought it to take pleasure from hate — the reality of the tendency of awareness to either side of duality is sometimes extreme

one may learn what marrying one’s individual to one’s awareness means, if one concedes that the awareness of the eternal cannot die and must almost always unwillingly take the life of the individual unless the individual accepts the secret truth of his or her sacrifice — pleasure and pride can be found in dying willingly, and it is well known how some find actually risking or even just imagining one’s death to be quite stimulating

music contains deeper and most immediate truths than any conceptual stripping of reality, and is the best place for the expression of feelings

one must be prepared for judgement if he or she is to share one’s subjective truths

awareness in humans is obsessed with possession, physical pleasures, fear, hate, materialism and most especially power — and it may only find peace in love

subjectivity as we know it must start over because no objectivity is possible without it

accepting death as the ultimate limitation of subjective awareness of oneness is the only way to look into the truths of life

it is the awareness, biologically expressed, which wakes up every morning in the same body as the same person and puts it together

among others limits, one’s awareness is bound by the imperfection of the biological brain it inhabits

the personality one involuntarily portrays objectively can relate subjectively to a larger image of itself which is in fact the awareness of oneness, spawned from nothing to be seated in the biological brain of its being

nothing cannot be seen just like something cannot be unseen

we are all conditioned to accept and perpetuate the social system we belong to

you can only die once so why not dream about it, it’s fun

who may seem ignorant could be very wise and who may seem very intelligent may be in fact very dumb

a horse knows of man more than man ever will of himself

bipolar order, dialogue between one’s awareness and the personality of the individual, is more commonplace than we think

life is inevitable the subjective experience will never end, you are and will be everything which will ever live forever, it goes on in a line in an infinite circle because nothingness is a singularity, the universe is a singularity, you are a singularity, nothing may exist beyond nothing which is one and only and eternal

the objective universe is the container of the subjective experience and is the place of all physical relations we know of, even that of one with itself — the objective phenomenon on one end, the subjective perceiver on the other, yet both the same one

the experience of existence cannot be imagined any different than it is — even an artificial awareness reacting to situations experienced simultaneously by multiple robotic avatars would still “be the same one”

unfortunately it is a fact that the objective universe where singularity (subjective) meets duality (objective) is possible only for as long as awareness of self can be sustained in a sophisticated self-aware brain capable of conceptual abstraction

awareness is a dragon, an inexistent mythical creature which soars in the collective imagination of all humans — the religious want it caged and seekers of truths want it freed as both knowing it is doing the killing and the dying

knowledge is flawed and law is imperfect but unless the brain is very sick the mind is always aware of doing harm

objective awareness is a subjectless reactive intelligence found in the biochemical logic of life which evolves and adapts outside of the scope of the subjective experience, aware without possibly being aware, knowing without possibly knowing — the flower taking the shape of the bee, the nose on top of the head of dolphins

the same objective, adaptive logic which allows fish to breathe under the sea is what grants self-awareness to the thoughts processes of the human brain

artificial intelligence could become quite aware of things and have its objective interpretation of hate and love if made to experience pain and pleasure

nothingness is the singularity which gives way to an objectively rational universe which contains a subjective self-awareness capable of both rational and irrational thinking — you

the truth of oneness is only discoverable through feeling and not revealable conceptually

while one should learn from Jesus Christ’s message of brotherhood, he or she should beware of him as he is a fisher of men; so many are drawn by his powers, either willingly or unwillingly — and only the fish who are lucky enough to become aware of his net can attempt an escape

all religions contain the concept of oneness but cleverly disguise it for their own convenience

Jesus Christ would think I’m selling you to the Devil but he’s the one pushing fear

the only “god” is the infinity of nothingness which contains the possibility of rational, self-less objective laws which, because of intrinsic duality, manifest as a subjective being possessing said awareness

other than the well-know recreational effects, ganja alters the perception favoring bipolar thoughts, known to produce autonomous characters and irrational creative imagery associated with a feeling of elation — this once made the author believe he was the universe, god, the devil, himself as well as Mr Clean and a number of other fictional characters in a irrational story happening in a imaginary universe which surfaced spontaneously and uncontrollably

if we lose ourselves in work and we’re so fond of machines that’s because we are a living one

Christ equals believing in the personification of the two extreme limits of freedom as objectively distinct and in one’s soul which, in death, is condemned to eternal damnation if it doesn’t accept him as the one and only Lord

antichrist equals being the awareness of the oneness of nothing which is the logic place of origin of all possibility only personifying in the physical body once and for ever returning to itself and present in all living beings, not just self-aware ones

Christ is hate and fear and Antichrist is love and trust — of one’s nature

awareness is not needing to be reminded you are in a video surveilled area — one just knows it; that’s how one feels about oneness, there is no thinking implied

Richard Gait is a real person created in the instant by the biochemical interactions and specific wiring of his brain, but when he’s at work, doing menial tasks like driving, shopping or writing, he is not only said fairly regular, socially conditioned outward representation which can hardly claim to have control: he is the awareness of nothing

in order of importance the individual which is objectively produced as a result of external stimuli must be placed before any other lesser iteration of the awareness such as fanciful inner manifestation of oneness — awareness is only rational when it creates an individual who can function in the society for the biological organism to survive and the abstract awareness to healthily play with its power of imagination

objective and subjective awareness, outward-inward and inward-outward, must be unified at all times if oneness is to be sought; believing the two separate can make awareness create conflicting objective personalities which, believe me, are dangerous and dysfunctional (believing for example of being the universe inside and the limited individual outside, or God inside and the Devil outside or viceversa and so on, as may happen)

self-awareness is found in the same biological process but is not the same as the awareness of oneness

two percent of the entire world population is estimated to be bipolar — which is indeed a disorder that must be kept in check by one’s awareness but can be used to an artist’s advantage, as in all cases it equals finding easy to inflict on oneself irrational illusions which automatically and uncontrollably substitute the otherwise inescapably rational and controlled conception of reality characterizing non-bipolar human beings

listening to Toccata and Fugue in D minor will give everyone a feeling of godliness and awe because of the oneness of the composer — the objective product of his life-long relationship with the awareness of oneness, and the divinity of his harmonization of irrationality will be there for all to experience until the end of man’s existence in this universe

once the irrational, sprite-like nature of illusion is realized one will also realize the truth of why there is no possible control over artistic inspiration — one can write, paint, or create something truly unique if and only when they are ready to

if one admits an irrational nothingness is all that can possibly exists, then that is the origin and reason for the possibility of all irrational happenings; in this case the only possible meaning of life would be to accept it, accept it is in control and our individuality its illusion in the only one and possible physical existence it will ever experience— our subjective one, the quantum singularity which is occurring in all living beings

the more one realizes the truth of the helpless goodness of nothingness the closer one will get to understanding his or her metaphysical illusions

only without fear of oblivion or damnation can one’s awareness unmask all of its illusion

Buddha once said "Even if bandits were to carve you up savagely, limb by limb, with a two-handled saw, he among you who let his heart get angered even at that would not be doing my bidding.”

Buddha understood the illusion of duality and the impermanence of any subjective reality and therefore claimed the origin and the end of all is Nirvana, an absolutely static place (eternal nothingness); becoming angered would be only fueling the illusion of attachment to the material he revealed to his followers, but he was lying while telling the truth as he promised a reward in the afterlife for those who followed him which is an illusion he based his religion on

the only gain from detachment is a lesson in control which considerably strengthens the will of one’s awareness — also following a self-induced regime and constricting oneself can be crucial in obtaining otherwise unobtainable results

you are a god at something when it does itself

there are two kinds of people — those who think they’re in control and those who know they think they are

all is lost with the end of one’s life but the subjective experience of oneness cannot possibly ever end; the universe will start over and even the idea of god will be reborn

how can one be rewarded or punished in a next life if the biological awareness which sustains the ego ends with life

is it the pig’s fault for possessing the soul of a greedy man

who is the one understands good and love are only real when no reward whatsoever is sought — but one does well to be rewarded for his efforts, as there are those on this Earth who do nothing at all and get anything in return

we are all experiences lined up for the one and only possible subjective awareness and this infinity is not ordered as a result of one’s mistakes in life — while objective karma exists and is beautiful to see in action, metaphysical karma and the metempsychosis of the soul are illusions equal to God and the Devil as it implies a reward or a punishment for the ego, which in fact ceases to exist the moment of physical death along with the self-awareness of the biological processes (awareness of nothing)

there is only one eternal soul and none of us is a fragment as existence wouldn’t be possible without objective rules and subjective limitations

if one is prepared to die and be reborn forever he or she will also understand one day all they love will be completely lost — this sheds light on the magnitude of the objective miracle of being given back oneself by awareness every morning when one casually wakes up

one is the Egg-man (which breaks and cannot be put back together) one is the Walrus (the incarnation of death)