I think we're saying the same thing — 64bithuman

Fine.

You're conflating hardship with the psychological experience of hardship.

Hardship, as in, a broken bone, poverty, hunger, cold, heat, working 12-hour shifts 6 days per week for minimum wage, etc.

The psychological experience of hardship is how one thinks and feels about having a broken bone, living in poverty, being hungry etc.

Yeah, I would say people do indeed look for meaning in suffering. Honestly not that much to be said about this other than that it is sad. People also seem to equivocate desensitization with the kind of toughness you can build up safely.

But there is something called post-traumatic growth in which trauma does indeed lead to an increase in mental robustness. Pretty rare if you are really being traumatized, however, or so it would seem.

Perhaps it would be better to get some help from the experts and for better or worse, I've found them - Buddhists. I haven't the foggiest how these dudes & gals found the time and peace of mind to do such an in-depth analysis. I'll present an outline of the Buddhist take on suffering although some scholars are of the view that Buddhism has an even broader notion - dukkha - which is dissatisfaction, sensu amplissimo.

Dukkha

1. Suffering (birth, aging, illness, death, ...)
2. Superimposed suffering (rubbing salt on wounds)
3. Tanha - the unsatisfiable thirst of craving
4. The anguish caused by refusal to accept anicca/anitya (impermanence/change)
5. Getting what you don't want and its mirror image, not getting what you want (Life can be cruel)

Wikipedia articles on suffering & dukkha are a gold mine as far as I'm concerned.