Do you have any defences against what you describe?
Have you encountered any personal thoughts, distractions etc, that reduce the impact of the notions you describe?
Is every moment of your life OWNED by what you describe or are there 'better' moments from time to time?

I have found that studying philosophy made me less nihilistic. I think that some existential dilemmas are mistaken and combine with low self worth to trap someone.

I became cynical and skeptical about everything and felt trapped in my problems but various things happened including medication and an autism spectrum diagnosis that changed some of my perspectives and gave me tools to fight. I am a wary of philosophical positions that have an element of making things appear futile or mechanical.

Counsellors, psychiatrist and psychologists should be more aware of and sympathetic to existential angst and not treat as hopeless or a character flaw.

changed some of my perspectives and gave me tools to fight. — Andrew4Handel

So total defeat is not ensured. A person CAN defend against 'existential depression,' and experience 'good moments?' Is it possible to increase the number of 'good moments?'

Perhaps you could share with us some of the things that have set you off. You have a lot of well versed people on here, as well as those who would give great thought to your issues. One of the cures to any form of depression is to avoid isolation. Of course, you need to be with people that you feel comfortable sharing and enjoying life with. You might find a few here.

So total defeat is not ensured. A person CAN defend against 'existential depression,' and experience 'good moments?' Is it possible to increase the number of 'good moments?' — universeness

I am quite sympathetic to elements of the psychodynamic/psychoanalytic aspect of mind. We don't always understand our own motives and unconscious or forces from past events such as memories that are undermining us.
A thought or an idea may act like a virus multiplying and eating away at your confidence..

Philosophy showed me that most ideas are contestable and nothing is fixed. I think some nihilism and existential despair if not all and might be created by helplessness and past experiences and them being reinforced. I became a binge drinker and seemed to rely on smoking cigarettes to deal with stress.
But these things may have also been counterproductive. I can't judge to what extent but now I don't do either thing and am the least unhappy I have been as an adult.

Also mental health services can always benefit from reform.

I think you can be wrong that life is meaningless or hopeless and therapists should ideally be able to challenge one's thoughts gently. But you can also be right that life is bleak and has intractable problems but we need to develop coping mechanisms and not punish ourselves I suppose.

It is also philosophical in nature, especially rooted in Nihilism (or can be from Philosophical Pessimism and similar philosophy such as: Antinatalism, Efilism, Depressive Realism, Promortalism) — niki wonoto

Could you describe in more detail what your specific ideas are regarding your own existential views?

I became a binge drinker and seemed to rely on smoking cigarettes to deal with stress.
But these things may have also been counterproductive. I can't judge to what extent but now I don't do either thing and am the least unhappy I have been as an adult. — Andrew4Handel

That's fantastic, well done!!!

I think you can be wrong that life is meaningless or hopeless and therapists should ideally be able to challenge one's thoughts gently. — Andrew4Handel

I agree.

But you can also be right that life is bleak and has intractable problems but we need to develop coping mechanisms and not punish ourselves I suppose. — Andrew4Handel

There is no question, that life can be damn bleak at times and utter despair seems all that is on offer. BUT even in my darkest moments I have experienced, if I just manage to wait a moment or so, 'something inside my head,' offers another 'moment,' a moment of 'less' despair, a flicker that perhaps I could survive. Over time and with a little encouragement, that becomes the reason I always have survived.
Also when later, I heard 'other peoples horror stories' and I read historical stories of what some folks went through and survived. Then I feel quite annoyed at myself but not too much.

Are you familiar with the existential psychotherapists Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom? Have you investigated or undergone cognitive behavioral therapy (with or without medications)?

I’ve struggled with depression that’s been largely existential for going on 12 years now, so I definitely understand where you’re coming from. My thoughts can be very nihilistic, and going down these existential rabbit holes can make many aspects of living incredibly difficult.

For so long, I’d send myself down these spirals looking for some kind of meaning behind it all that I couldn’t find. Is there a purpose to life? Is there an afterlife? Some higher power or reason we exist? Then, not long ago, I came to a realization that may seem like it would worsen my depression at first glance, but was actually a complete game changer for me… I don’t matter.

I don’t believe that I matter, at least on an existential scale, and strangely enough, that belief has been incredibly freeing for me.

I’ve accepted that existence is so much larger than myself and that I don’t need to understand it. Maybe I will someday, but I am perfectly fine with being inconsequential. Everything seems so much bigger than me, and I will probably have a very minimal impact in the grand scheme of things. And that’s fine. I like it that way, actually, because I don’t need to put pressure on myself to achieve some great purpose if I don’t believe I need to have one in the first place.

Rather than worrying about what may be, I can just let myself enjoy my life while I have it. I still live by a moral code that prevents me from doing intentional harm, and I still wonder about existence and reality, but letting myself let go of the idea that it all needs to mean something has allowed me to actually experience life in a way I didn’t before. I know I mean something to the people in my life, but the world will move on with or without me, so I can just let myself be and try to make the most of what I have.

I don’t know if this line of thinking would help you in any way, but I personally feel a lot better now because of it.

:100: :cool:

Then, not long ago, I came to a realization that may seem like it would worsen my depression at first glance, but was actually a complete game changer for me… I don’t matter. — AWill

Good realization.

One of the sayings that helped free me up was ‘My life has been a series of crises, most of which have never occurred.’

Have you ever tried experimenting with psychedelics?

You might be suffering from a biologically rare type of depression that isn't treatable by usual methods.

I feel that we should be anti suicide and do everything to preserve and improve the quality of everyone's life.

I believe I entirely understand the concept. I get flashes of it now and then. A sudden feeling of oblivion, futility, hopelessness. But I don't suffer from it. They are just flashes. I wish I had a trick to share that would help.