Sometimes workplace banter is just harmless fun between equals and we women must learn to not take it too seriously, says Jane Moore.
Many years ago, I worked with a gloriously ballsy Geordie woman called Sue Carroll (RIP), who taught me everything I know about male and female interaction in the workplace.
Sue, below, had an impressive pair of boobs that she was very proud of, often overtly displaying them in push-up, lacy bras and low-cut tops. We always used to joke that they arrived in a room two minutes before she did.
She was fond of tight leggings and over- the-knee boots, too, and one morning this vision of magnificence strode and jiggled her way into The Sun’s male-dominated morning conference.
“Blimey, anyone order a bouncy castle?” quipped one brave soul.
Quick as a flash, Sue fired back: “I’d better not sit near you, then. A small p***k would be lethal.”
We all burst out laughing, including the recipient of her waspish comeback.
No doubt there are a few twentysomethings who will read this anecdote and recoil in horror at what they see as a roomful of old dinosaurs being “inappropriate” towards their “victim”. Yawn.
Sue never saw it that way, and neither did I.
For me, it actually showed that they regarded Sue as their equal — a highly respected journalist who could look after herself and engage in the same kind of workplace banter that men do all the time without feeling the need to run off to HR.
But had Sue been a young intern, nervously bringing coffee into a room of senior men who then chose to belittle her with a sexual comment, knowing full well that she would not have the power or the confidence to even dare to answer them back?
Well, that would be a matter that needed further investigation.
Like so many things in life, it’s all about perspective, circumstance and common sense.
Which brings me to an alleged incident six years ago between Andrea Leadsom, now 54 and Leader of the House of Commons, and her Conservative colleague Sir Michael Fallon.
When she complained of cold hands, he allegedly quipped: “I know where you can put them to warm them up.” Trained at the Sue Carroll school of comebacks, I would have replied: “Yes, Michael, around your bloody neck.”
Leader of the House of Commons, Andrea Leadsom, complained about Michael Fallon’s conduct.
But, citing that and other examples of “derogatory comments of a sexual nature”, Mrs Leadsom waited six years before taking her complaint to the PM and getting him fired as Defence Secretary.
Really? Mrs Leadsom was 48 at the time and, one might imagine, perfectly capable of simply dealing with it herself.
Women of Mrs Leadsom’s age and older had mothers who had to put up with sexist adverts like this one from the 1950s, below. So when their daughters started making inroads into male-dominated professions, it was a long-awaited and thrilling breakthrough.
From there, for the most part, we have steadily forged a fantastic working relationship with our male colleagues, from the backroom to the boardroom.
So let’s not ruin it with a misguided witch-hunt that, in some cases, is tipping into misandry — the opposite of misogyny and used so rarely that I had to look it up.
Every day there are genuine, clear-cut cases of sexual harassment or abuse in the workplace where senior men — and women — use their power to either proposition or publicly humiliate those who are not in the position to fight back.
It’s wrong and should be dealt with through all the proper channels.
If anything comes out of this current maelstrom of accusations, it should be that every workplace — whatever its size — makes it easy for all employees to make a complaint and follow a due process in investigating it.
But meanwhile, let’s not create a climate where every small bit of workplace banter involves a “female victim” and “male aggressor”.
Sometimes it’s just harmless fun and, as equals, we must learn to not take it too seriously and give as good as we get. — Jane Moore, The Sun
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_CarrollOver time, her column featured her thoughts on society, values, popular culture and celebrity.[2] She displayed a consistent ability to provoke, and in 2002 during supermodel Naomi Campbell's privacy case against the Daily Mirror, judge Mr Justice Morland described Carroll's reference to Campbell as a "chocolate soldier" as "extremely rude and offensive".[1] She was described by Kevin Maguire, an associate editor at the Daily Mirror, as "the queen of columnists"
It's up to the woman (or man) in question what to do about inappropriate sexual comments in the workplace. If they're comfortable ignoring it and firing back, fine, — Baden
The Sun's appreciation of a large pair of tits has never been in question, but it is not my go-to source for an understanding of sexual politics. — unenlightened
I beg to differ... — unenlightened
Sometimes it’s just harmless fun and, as equals, we must learn to not take it too seriously and give as good as we get. — Jane Moore, The Sun
It's up to the woman (or man) in question what to do about inappropriate sexual comments in the workplace. — Baden
If they're comfortable ignoring it and firing back, fine, but there's no point telling them it's all good fun if it's not for them, is it? — Baden
Obviously, it wasn't for Leadsom and Fallon sounds like a creep. — Baden
Are we supposed to feel sorry for him or something? — Baden
In Australia, bullying is considered 'repeated unreasonable behaviour directed towards workers or a group of workers, that creates a risk to health and safety' and note the keyword repeated. Common sense should dictate as per the article that the nice girl wont psychologically or emotionally cope being taunted by men and as one who has experienced this I can assure you that this risk to health and safety is real. The workplace requires a vigilance to inappropriate behaviour despite there being Sue Carrol' and to condescendingly say "yawn" to this is, well, wrong. — TimeLine
The Sun's appreciation of a large pair of tits has never been in question, but it is not my go-to source for an understanding of sexual politics. — unenlightened
One woman's witty banter is another judge's rude and offensive racism. — unenlightened
I beg to differ. Casual humiliation passed off as humour is impossible to resist alone without appearing as a killjoy, pc mad, over-sensitive, behaviour nazi. It's up to all of us to set the standard for what is an acceptable level of insult, and allow the victim to show the strength of not being bothered while we observers get on our high horses, and ride roughshod over such jollities. Have we not discovered through "me too" that what is normal is unacceptable? — unenlightened
I think that regardless of what we do, unfortunately, these kind of bad-natured sexual innuendos will not end at the workplace... Most people are too controlled by sexual desire. — Agustino
Someone might be fine with sexual jokes, but just because they're fine with it doesn't mean everyone is fine with it. — darthbarracuda
But had Sue been a young intern, nervously bringing coffee into a room of senior men who then chose to belittle her with a sexual comment, knowing full well that she would not have the power or the confidence to even dare to answer them back?
Well, that would be a matter that needed further investigation. — Jane Moore, The Sun
And to publicize this ends up contributing to the problem, as this encourages the sexual harassment of those who don't appreciate it. — darthbarracuda
Every day there are genuine, clear-cut cases of sexual harassment or abuse in the workplace where senior men — and women — use their power to either proposition or publicly humiliate those who are not in the position to fight back.
It’s wrong and should be dealt with through all the proper channels. — Jane Moore, The Sun
I don't think it's "harmless" more than it's just narrow-minded, and it portrays a lack of understanding, viz: of how sexual advances hurts many people: — darthbarracuda
Sometimes it’s just harmless fun and, as equals, we must learn to not take it too seriously and give as good as we get. — Jane Moore, The Sun
Don't take it too seriously! Wait...why? Because a few goofs enjoy having some fun, and by taking workplace sexual harassment seriously, we might be depriving them of this sublime and time-honored tradition? To me, that just seems to be a failure to understand why it's important to nab workplace sexual harassment. — darthbarracuda
Like so many things in life, it’s all about perspective, circumstance and common sense. — Jane Moore, The Sun
I think when it comes to comments sexual in nature, harassment is in the eye of the beholder. I agree with the gist of the article, but I think it's unrealistic that everyone would understand the nuance between jokes involving sexual content and sexual harassment. And as Andrewk mentioned, in these instances it's not just between two people, it's a whole room of people leaving open a whole room of interpretation.
This sort of nuance is probably better discussed between friends outside of a professional workspace. — ProbablyTrue
Like, I'm sorry cracking down on sexual harassment will deprive you of a bit of fun, but the actual harassment of workers on the job is more important than your occasional banter. — darthbarracuda
Like, I'm sorry cracking down on sexual harassment will deprive you of a bit of fun, but the actual harassment of workers on the job is more important than your occasional banter. — darthbarracuda
As much as I hate blanket rules that restrict all degrees of a particular behavior, it would be a nightmare for HR departments to decide where the line is when it comes sexual joking/sexual harassment. — ProbablyTrue
A guy who had arrived half way through her explanation as to what happened, asked her in front of the rest of the staff if the xray was of her broken pussy... — ArguingWAristotleTiff
I think that regardless of what we do, unfortunately, these kind of bad-natured sexual innuendos will not end at the workplace... Most people are too controlled by sexual desire. — Agustino
The "yawn" was justified, as it was directed at someone being judgemental from an outside perspective, either failing to get, or wilfully overlooking, the mutual understanding of those on the inside. — Sapientia
Besides, you have zero credibility when you talk about these matters, since you frequently and openly praise Donald Trump, recently saying that he's an inspiration to you. — Sapientia
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