Men in American society have, for a long time, been emotionally undermined by a systemic cultural dogma. Men don't cry. Most boys and young men are taught not to cry because for some reason, the fact that a man has emotions is apparently a sign of weakness. It's perfectly fine for a woman to have feelings, break down on national television over something, and sob while receiving pats on the back. Were a man to do something similar, most of the people on the program would likely be quite uncomfortable and look around nervously.

The problem is that this cultural and media reinforced mentality is downright toxic. Men have emotions just like anyone else, but often lack the tools or the personal understanding to express them in a meaningful or healthy way. So what happens ultimately? Men who repress their emotions can only do so for a limited period of time, because as the stress builds up these emotions will find a way to vent themselves. The problem is this either happens all at once resulting in an explosive nuclear meltdown, or the emotions begin to seep out slowly, and can poison someone's way of thinking without them even realizing it. From my own personal experience (seeing not doing) this most often comes in the form of passive aggression, which left unchecked, can lead to active aggression and ultimately violent outbursts.

This isn't the only problem facing men however. In modern society there are a myriad of other challenges that face them on the road to emotional health. The first is the myth that men don't need help. This is something that is often perpetuated by feminist groups, a topic for a completely different discussion, that men don't need any sort of help at all. As a result when a men does come forward and try to deal with emotional problems in an open and thoughtful manner, he is often attacked for no other reason than being male.

Another reason that men have such trouble dealing with emotions is because there are virtually no resources in society to help them in this regard. Apparently because a man is a man the prevailing attitude is 'Suck it up Buttercup' when it comes to their emotional needs, which men do have. While this might seem a little off-topic, please bear with me.

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.

1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Source: https://ncadv.org/statistics

This 1 in 4 statistic reflects a fairly alarming trend that roughly 25% of all men in relationships have been the victim of domestic violence at some point in their lives, approximately 14% face severe violence. With the American population at 325.7 million (2017), that's 81,425,000 men being abused, and 46,249,000 facing severe abuse. It's shocking that so many people could face such problems with virtually no recourse for help.

How many domestic abuse hot lines, shelters, or outreach programs have you seen for men who are victims. I would imagine zero, because they get virtually no coverage in the media what so ever. There are a few places for men in such a position to receive help, but the disparity between help available between men and women is appalling.

Now I realize you might be wondering what domestic violence has to do with men's emotions. That should be fairly simple, a man who is attacked in his own home by a domestic partner suffers emotionally just like a woman. To be attacked or beaten by a loved one often hurts worse than being attacked by a total stranger. This is someone that you trust and care about. There's more than just physical violence here, it's a betrayal of the most basic trust and respect that one human being has for another. As anyone can attest, scars of the heart often cut far deeper than any of the body. Yet by and large there is no help for men in these situations, and people wonder why men 'suddenly' go off without warning, walk into work, and shoot the place up.

The problem is that there likely were warning signs for weeks or even months, but because men aren't suppose to be emotional, our society isn't taught to look for these signs. We've been taught to ignore the emotions of men while catering to the every emotional need of women.

Even worse than this is that often times when there are emotional support mechanisms for men, they're either a program initially designed for women that have the 'wo' lopped off, or they're a cookie cutter approach of one size fits all. Nature, nurture, and experience all teach us that men and women most certainly are not equal emotionally. The way a man thinks, feels, or expresses himself is rarely the same as women. Human beings by gender are hardwired differently, therefore we approach life differently.

In closing I feel that what America needs is to approach this problem from the point of addressing the emotional needs of men, as men. Not with programs originally intended for women, or cookie cutter systems. People need to wake up and realize that men have emotional needs that are distinctly different than those of women.