Is it wrong to spend a lot on a gift because the gift giver wants the receiver to benefit from the gift? Why spend all that money if the receiver is not going to benefit from the gift? What is the point of gift giving?

OKAY this is my take on your issue:

Gifts are favours the giver receives. Unlike stuff we ask from others, gifts are not requested, so the favour is really done by the person accepting them, and goes to the person giving the present. This favour you do to the giver includes making good use of the article/action, or going to the shop yourself to get a replacement.

When we give, we communicate; giving is a strong communicate act. Communication is passing a little of yourself to another person or entity (it is usually a bidirectional action), a part of what you are is now also in the another person. In barbaric countries with obscene fertility rates, they even use real daughters and sons as gifts between families to make this "communication" as explicit and consequential as possible.

Children should get much less toys and gifts. They should have a chest with their stuff, and not a room with their stuff. Grown-ups´ social needs of communication and sharing can be fulfilled without treating the kid like he was the reincarnation of Osiris. Children need less toys and more play. That is also a gift you can give them.

What I do is to actually ask the person if I may, if I should give them a gift before I do. I don´t like people forcing presents on me, and I don´t like to that to others either, I think it is rude and not very kind. If the gift is for the kids, I also inquire what gift exactly they will like. There´s still room for meaning and originality and you get it right many more times.

I really do not like gifts because I don't want to hurt others by getting rid of the gift and my home is really cluttered with gifts. But then my purpose in life is doing what makes others feel good, and as a grandson would say, that is selfish, because no matter what, I am doing what feels good to me.

I never meant to say anyone is obligated to keep a gift. But to increase the awareness of the importance of the importance of some a gifts, but not all gifts. Some gifts are carefully chosen to benefit the receiver. What Bitter Crank may call a trap gift because the good of the gift actually depends on the receiver reading the book or using it. Then the gift represents a life wish for someone and has more meaning than the receiver may realize.

I love the way you used history and mythology to make your point! :love: I have given a great-grandson the gift the history by reading history to him as night time stories.

I much prefer to do things with the children than give them toys. Last year the main gift was a year pass to the science museum and we went several times throughout the year.