Some advice needed.
  • Shawn
    13.3k
    Heyo,

    I have a situation that is going to arise soon that I wanted to discuss. Namely, my mother and I are currently going through a division of wealth over the house I currently live in. My father pretty much took all my moms money and transferred the rest to another country. With the evidence we have, it seems like we should get the house in total to our name.

    Herein is the problem. I am not entirely sure what to do after overcoming the division of joint assets. Should I move out or stay and live happily with my mother?

    I understand most would say to move out and explore the world; but, I have grown pessimistic about adventures and like my steady abode home.

    Basically, I am apprehensive of moving out and not making the cut. As some of you may know by now, I am on disability for a mental disorder. I have developed over the years some sort of strong nagging urge not to deal with other people. I don't know if these issues need to be addressed first or deal with them as they come along when I move out?

    To be quite honest, I don't think I will be able to maintain a job and living essentials, and hence the desire to stay put and happily age with my mom.

    Any thoughts or advice welcome.
    Shawn Options
  • Shawn
    13.3k
    Just expanding on this, the issue is that I don't have very high self-esteem and confidence to push myself out of my current state of affairs. Not to give the impression that I am unhappy, I am quite content and satisfied with living with my mother on disability. It's just that I don't know how to motivate (or convince myself that I am capable of...) to move out of the home.
    Shawn Options
  • Amity
    5.3k
    Should I move out or stay and live happily with my mother? — Wallows

    What does your mother think ?
    If you are both happy with current situation, there isn't a problem, is there?

    If you can afford it, or can find the necessary help, you can perhaps find a place nearby. So that you have both support and can dip a toe into a new world. If you see it as a positive step forward, even if you are not confident ( and how many people are no matter their mental health) that will come with each little step of independence.

    Can you cook ? Do you have basic house keeping knowledge. Budget. You can learn these skills while still living at home in preparation for moving out. Get the foundations sorted before any major move. It is a major stressor so you have to be in a good place first.

    Just a few thoughts.
    Amity Options
  • Shawn
    13.3k
    ↪Amity


    My mother pretty much wants me to stay put until I get my housing in the area. Until then I'm not sure what to do as the waiting list is pretty long.
    Shawn Options
  • Amity
    5.3k
    My mother pretty much wants me to stay put until I get my housing in the area. Until then I'm not sure what to do as the waiting list is pretty long. — Wallows

    Your Mum sounds wise.
    What to do ? Prepare yourself. In whatever way you can.
    Best wishes.
    Amity Options
  • Deleted User
    0
    For me, I took a leap and did stuff regardless of how I felt. Struggling, but I'm stubborn enough to make it work. Sometimes people just need to shut the emotions off and do it.
    Deleted User Options
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    ↪Wallows
    Tell your mom to sell the house and find a place for both of you to live where no one knows you or your problems. Your environment is a constant in everything you do so a change will probably help to break the cycle.
    If you could find a smaller house and convert it to 2 apartments you would have the best of both worlds and be able to make friends with new people as well.
    Sir2u Options
  • Shawn
    13.3k
    ↪Sir2u


    Not likely. It's a good neighborhood and I like my living arrangement. Also, we're both tired of moving around and want to rest easy here.
    Shawn Options
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    ↪Wallows
    So turn you house into apartments and you will be able to live individually while at home. If you ever leave the apartment can be rented out to bring in extra cash.
    Sir2u Options
  • Valentinus
    1.6k
    ↪Wallows
    Not likely. It's a good neighborhood and I like my living arrangement. Also, we're both tired of moving around and want to rest easy here. — Wallows

    That makes sense.
    Is there something in the arrangement that you don't like?
    Valentinus Options
  • Shawn
    13.3k
    ↪Sir2u


    We rent out the guest room for students and young workers. It help pay the mortgage.
    Shawn Options
  • Shawn
    13.3k
    Is there something in the arrangement that you don't like? — Valentinus

    Well to be honest, not really. I couldn't ask for more. I guess I'm feeling appreciative today.
    Shawn Options
  • S
    11.7k
    ↪Wallows
    I didn't read your opening post, but whatever it is you were asking for advice on, I say go for it.
    S Options
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