Monkey Business

Jake

Here's yet another typical human screw up...

A company put some monkeys on an island in the middle of a river here in Florida, with the goal of creating yet another tourist attraction. But oops, nobody bothered to learn that monkeys can swim. So the monkeys escaped the island and their population is now exploding in the area.

I generally think monkeys are cool (not tourist attractions though) but apparently these monkeys carry diseases which are fatal to humans, and well, the monkeys are not shy creatures by nature.

Hundreds of escaped monkeys have already been killed, but the population is still growing rapidly.

Like it or not, we now have monkeys in Florida, even some that don't serve in the Legislature.

What's the moral of the story?

Let's develop genetic engineering as fast as possible, and make it as cheap and easy as possible, and thus as widely accessible as possible! What a great plan!! What could possibly go wrong??

unenlightened

What could possibly go wrong? — Jake

Nothing that natural selection can't sort out - eventually. :death:

There's a well known but seldom practiced method for dealing with muddy waters - quit stirring, and wait for the mud to settle. Things went to hell in Florida when the apes arrived, a few monkeys won't matter much now.

wax

I dunno; what will happen if they start mating with pigs?

there'll be ponkeys and migs everywhere.

ssu

I propose that we should have a competition of bringing all kinds of animals to Florida and let them go loose into the nature and the urban surroundings in Florida. So not just a couple of monkeys at one place. Breed monkeys in zoos all around and transport them in Florida. Not just a couple, hundreds and hopefully thousands of monkeys set free in Florida. After all, Florida has just about 100 mammal species, but in the World there are over 5 000 mammal species. So let's get the species count to 1000 at least.

Then we would look at what animals flourish and be happy of the biological diversity that we have brought down upon the Peninsula. Nothing better than have a pack of African hyenas going over the trashcans of Floridians while Australians Dingos wait for their turn and Japanes Macaques alongside Brazilian black capuchins and ring tailed lemurs from Madagaskar inspect the event up from the trees.

Deleted User

When will people learn to stop creating more issues? :roll:

T Clark

Then we would look at what animals flourish and be happy of the biological diversity that we have brought down upon the Peninsula. Nothing better than have a pack of African hyenas going over the trashcans of Floridians while Australians Dingos wait for their turn and Japanes Macaques alongside Brazilian black capuchins and ring tailed lemurs from Madagaskar inspect the event up from the trees. — ssu

Polar bears.

BC

↪ssu

This is in fact happening. All sorts of tropical pet reptiles that got too big have been let go in peoples back yards where, Florida being sub tropical, they have all done quite well. Ford has a quite fascinating collection of snakes now that they didn't used to have.

If the alligators don't get you the pythons will.

Alligators and pythons, properly deployed in urban areas, should help keep down the riff raff population in Miami and other cities, down there. The alligator hatcheries are turning them out as fast as they can. Once a constrictor starts squeezing, the subject and snake are sitting ducks for a trained alligator to move in for the kill.

BC

↪Jake

How do you tell the difference between the escaped and cleverly adaptive monkeys and your average Florida primate householder?

BC

monkeys carry diseases which are fatal to humans — Jake

Sounds like quid pro quo to me.

ssu

This is in fact happening. All sorts of tropical pet reptiles that got too big have been let go in peoples back yards where, Florida being sub tropical, they have all done quite well. — Bitter Crank

Yes. And this is the reason why I did propose this. The Florida peninsula could compete in animal richness with the Island of Borneo or the Serengeti. Add to the mix the Floridians and how they would have to cope with their enchanced biodiversity.

Jake

How do you tell the difference between the escaped and cleverly adaptive monkeys and your average Florida primate householder? — Bitter Crank

That is the question! Our state went for Trump, so monkeys would likely be an improvement.

Hanover

This is in fact happening. All sorts of tropical pet reptiles that got too big have been let go in peoples back yards where, Florida being sub tropical, they have all done quite well. Ford has a quite fascinating collection of snakes now that they didn't used to have. — Bitter Crank

Florida with its invasive snakes, Georgia with its invasive wild boars, and Minnesota with its invasive Scandinavians.

Terrapin Station

↪ssu

Can we move some mountains down there, too, while we're at it?

And maybe a huge outdoor air conditioner?

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