how did you people manage to overcome the pressure of the cage that tells you what you should do and when you should do it, — virginia west

I retired. It took me my whole life to prepare, and now I can follow my own schedule, or none, as I choose. [Except when our grand-daughter needs looking after....] But in the world we've created, that's normally something one has to earn. We are idiots. :wink:

The rationalization of time through weeks etc, and the rationalization of value through money are things that a lot of people don't like, but how did you people manage to overcome the pressure of the cage that tells you what you should do and when you should do it, and did you manage to fly away? — virginia west

I rationally chose not to conform.

If the conventional focus on time with respect to appointments, schedules, deadlines, etc. causes you a lot of stress, why not make it a primary focus of your career goals to avoid jobs where you need to think about time that way?

A few examples of jobs that can offer an escape from the normal focus on time/scedules/ "the daily grind" so to speak:

* Be a freelance writer or novelist
* Go into businesses for yourself where you supply product to others without needing to personally supervise a retail or manufacturing environment. For example, if you were to hand-make some sort of high-end fashion item that you supply to select retailers
* Go into a scientific area that involves long-term, on-site field research. For example, biological surveys of wilderness areas, archaeological digs, etc.

Those are just a few examples. The right fit for you will depend on your exact interests, skills, etc., but it's important to think about these sorts of things when choosing career paths. Different things will be important to different people. Some people may hate the idea of being stuck in an office, some may hate traveling, some may hate not having a routine and a relative guarantee of a regular paycheck, etc. You need to think about your dispositions and what are the most important versus more anxiety-inducing things for you and make plans accordingly.

I currently still work a day job, have a family, raise children. My epiphany arrived in the midst of these obligations, and I’m working my way around them - devoting as much of my limited spare time to ‘not being externally productive’ as I can get away with until my kids get through school. My family are getting used to it, but it takes some negotiation. Still, I’m not influenced by ‘what I should be doing and when’, but by what I consider valuable - not necessarily for me as a physical entity, but mostly in terms of my capacity to contribute to the universe as an infinite whole (not specifically to society or anyone else). When I look at it this way, the time I have physical access to, the relationships I nurture and the awareness and understanding I share are precious to me. Everything else has value only in the context of these main aspects of my life.

So when it’s important to my kids that I watch their soccer game, I’ll be there. I’ll also continue to devote time and attention to broadening their view of the world, making sure they eat well and teaching them to determine and live by their own values despite what everyone else tells them. These activities (among others) are valuable to me, but my capacity to do them has a time limit in itself. Nevertheless, I don’t feel guilty for choosing more time for my ‘research’ over a higher paying job with longer hours, or for sitting in front of a computer all day while the sun is shining. I know what I’m doing is productive for me, and not neglecting my health or my family.

Yes, I’m very conscious of time - I work on being more practical and efficient in some areas and structuring my routine so that I can find value in more moments that may seem less practical or efficient to others. I’ve given up caring what other people say I should be doing - there will always be someone or something to make you feel like you’re doing it wrong.