Being able to participate in society requires that you stay in the loop. People want to stay in the loop, and they also want to be appreciated. So the listener of gossip listens because they want to know what is going on, and the speaker says it because they know the information will be appreciated.

Why can't they do something practical rather than gossip? — Fruitless

What exactly are you asking: why people do the things they do? Isn't that a rather strange question?

There's not just one reason for it. Some of it is just curiosity about other people and what their lives are like.

Sometimes it's a way to live vicariously through that person, who might have a life that's unlike any you'll ever have--a lot of celebrity gossip is of that nature.

Those are just two examples of reasons people can be interested in it.

Yes, but why?

Why would it be a strange question? It is just something very common, and I would like to know why we like to talk about others? Specifically, of ill manner or behind their back without their knowledge?

I have noticed, within all generations, there seems to be an overwhelming amount of gossip. I've distanced myself from numerous people to avoid getting caught in it, and I wonder as to why. Why do they gossip? Why do they talk ill of others or talk about everyone else's life? What is so good about it that it must take up your precious time on this Earth?

I understand it makes you feel nicer, that you are somwhat above other people, but why is that so important? It's such an empty investment I don't see why everyone keeps on with it? Why can't they do something practical rather than gossip? — Fruitless

There's not just one reason for it. Some of it is just curiosity about other people and what their lives are like.

Sometimes it's a way to live vicariously through that person, who might have a life that's unlike any you'll ever have--a lot of celebrity gossip is of that nature. — Terrapin Station

When people do things in life or have experiences that are different to our own, it piques our interest. This is how we learn about value structures in the world. How people we value with similar experiences to us value these alternative experiences, and why, helps us to build the value structures of our reality.

So some people share this information in order to ascertain how others feel about it - how others fit into their value structures. Others share how they feel about the information in order to position themselves and/or the subject of the information in the value structures of others.

That's perfect! 'helps us to build the value structures of our reality'

We need it in order to gain an understanding of the reality around us, and to attempt to understand our position in the world!

Thankyou :)

I would like to know why we like to talk about others? — Fruitless

You're going to get a lot of different answers to that question; I think first of all, we need to define the term gossip: does it include any mention whatsoever of others? Or is it a narrower way of talking about others?

Talking about others without the intent of them finding out, or the way we talk isn't the way we'd talk directly to the person being spoken about.

Ultimately, it is stroking a lust for crueleness. A person who loves truth and justice does not operate with gossip, because our nature is to bring knowledge of the truth to light. We ask what is the basis of the information, and we ask the subject for their own views so as to make an accurate judgement. Gossipers do not entrust their equipment to us for that reason: it disempowers their slander.

Laws are also constructed to empower gossip and pervert justice, because the lawmakers are of the nature to do gossip rather than justice. They do not understand that privacy is different from secrecy, but privacy and secrecy are ultimately of opposing intentions (one protects a person's right to be seen in truth, the other protects a person's fear of being seen in truth).

Well yes, clean answer :)

Gossip is a very human entity that starts from childhood. Just the other day, my 8-year-old cousin and her friend were caught passing notes in class, the content of which was comments about their classmates. Although they weren't being malicious, this shows how human it is to gossip. Humans are thrilled by drama, this is why soap operas are so successful!

As others have stated before, gossiping enables us to socially fit in; we learn what is acceptable behaviour so we do not end up being a topic of gossip. Why do we as humans find it thrilling to "spill the tea?" Learning of another's misfortune gives us a sense of schadenfreude, "at least my life isn't as bad as theirs."

So where do we draw the line between fueling our need for superiority and trampling on another's dignity and right to privacy?

Very interesting discussion you have going here...

It sounds like most folks see gossip as an intentionally malicious or pitying form of communication, and that when we speak of others without malicious intent, it's not gossip.

1 Gossiping satisfies a need to feel superior to or better off than others. "Guess what: Bob met a nice girl" is not gossip; "Guess what: Bob has herpes," is.

2. Gossiping can also be a way of forming alliances against the person gossiped about by sharing the juicy tidbits with someone else, and it can also be a way of taking an indirect dig at the person with whom the gossip is shared: "Do you know what Bob said about you? He said you're ugly and stupid. Can you believe it??"

3. As implied in # 1, gossiping takes our minds off our own miseries. So Bob tells his co-workers, "Guess what: Joe has contracted HIV."

4. Gossip is a way of spreading lies and distortions: "Guess what: Joe got HIV from having sex with a gerbil."

I think beneath it all we are really just trying to find our way in this world; to see what our placement is in this world. Are we important? Are we significant? We naturally lean towards talking about others to develop our own reality of 'what's really going on'. How do we know who we are? By seeing ourselves from everyone else's eyes and hearing ourselves from other people's mouth.

If you ever wanna spark a interesting discussion question the obvious - then you get some interesting answers, it becomes a seed of thought which grows into a tree of different ideas and new questions. Give it a go!

ahahaha the 4th one.

I see your point. That's one layer of truth

Because of shit talking, and talking shit.

Fuck the people that don't get fun out of either.

Could...you elaborate?

Gossip is a very human entity that starts from childhood. Just the other day, my 8-year-old cousin and her friend were caught passing notes in class, the content of which was comments about their classmates. Although they weren't being malicious, this shows how human it is to gossip. Humans are thrilled by drama, this is why soap operas are so successful!

As others have stated before, gossiping enables us to socially fit in; we learn what is acceptable behaviour so we do not end up being a topic of gossip. Why do we as humans find it thrilling to "spill the tea?" Learning of another's misfortune gives us a sense of schadenfreude, "at least my life isn't as bad as theirs." — TessiePooh

Gossip, whether malicious or ‘harmlessly’ passing comment, contains value positioning information. I think the thrill is in recognising the capacity we have to manipulate this aspect of reality: more specifically, how the words we use in sharing information can change where we are positioned according to the value structures of the world in relation to those around us.

1 Gossiping satisfies a need to feel superior to or better off than others. "Guess what: Bob met a nice girl" is not gossip; "Guess what: Bob has herpes," is.

2. Gossiping can also be a way of forming alliances against the person gossiped about by sharing the juicy tidbits with someone else, and it can also be a way of taking an indirect dig at the person with whom the gossip is shared: "Do you know what Bob said about you? He said you're ugly and stupid. Can you believe it??"

3. As implied in # 1, gossiping takes our minds off our own miseries. So Bob tells his co-workers, "Guess what: Joe has contracted HIV."

4. Gossip is a way of spreading lies and distortions: "Guess what: Joe got HIV from having sex with a gerbil." — uncanni

I think when we define ‘gossip’ with negative examples only, we fail to take into account the necessity of value positioning information in how we make sense of the world and our place in it. It’s easy enough to alter all of these above comments to positive examples of ‘gossip’ that edify the subject rather than put them down.

“Bob met a nice girl” is as much an example of value positioning information as “Bob has herpes”. When we say they’re not the same type of information, I think we’re missing an opportunity to understand why we gossip and how we can alter its potential to cause harm.

cousin and her friend were caught — TessiePooh

Your language, reflecting society's natural judgement, makes it sound criminal. I wonder whether you could share your thoughts about how that fits with your idea that it is a "very human entity"?

When we say they’re not the same type of information, I think we’re missing an opportunity to understand why we gossip and how we can alter its potential to cause harm. — Possibility

But that is not contained in the definition of gossip: gossip is, by definition, not harmless. You want to change the definition of gossip.

But that is not contained in the definition of gossip: gossip is, by definition, not harmless. You want to change the definition of gossip. — uncanni

I disagree - gossip, by definition, is idle talk about other people’s lives that may not necessarily be confirmed as true. It is neither harmful nor harmless by nature.

I disagree - gossip, by definition, is idle talk about other people’s lives that may not necessarily be confirmed as true. It is neither harmful nor harmless by nature. — Possibility

I respectfully disagree with your disagreement :smile: You chose the first definition that pops up, but gossip is generally characterized by various pejorative characteristics like distortion, unvalidated heresay, and intrusion into and disregard for privacy.

I don't believe that any statement about another person is gossip--and I doubt that that's what you're trying to say, either. Here's an article that provides a different perspective on gossip's ability to give us "cultural competence": https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.8.2.111

My concise definition of gossip: whenever I'm saying something about someone that I wouldn't say in front of them, it's gossip.

I’m not sure what you’re disagreeing with - my only issue with what you’ve written were these two statements:

"Guess what: Bob met a nice girl" is not gossip; — uncanni

gossip is, by definition, not harmless — uncanni

Everything else I agree with.

about other people’s lives that may not necessarily be confirmed as true — Possibility

Anything that is not of truth but carries the weight of truth, is harmful.

about other people’s lives that may not necessarily be confirmed as true
— Possibility
Anything that is not of truth but carries the weight of truth, is harmful. — Serving Zion

Agreed. But I never said gossip wasn’t harmful, just not necessarily harmful.

But I never said gossip wasn’t harmful, just not necessarily harmful. — Possibility

Ok, granted that it must be made effective by a possessor, to produce harm.. I would like to see if we can identify what makes the difference between harmless and harmful gossip.

First, I think definition is important, otherwise we might be confounded invalidly. So, would you agree with the definition from uncanni:

saying something about someone that I wouldn't say in front of them — uncanni

I think it is a very good definition, because it shows that the conscience is condemning the speech for fear of consequences, or that the possessor of the content is afraid that the power of the content is threatened by the opportunity of the subject to contribute contrary fact.

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