I recently just created this new section in my google docs that is dismal undeniable. But, I'm going to tag-team the two, and hope you get a kick out of them.

The hummingbird starves. Because it’s picky. It knows how exceptional it is. Why, it could hunt flies if it chose to. But sweet nectar, sweet nectar blooming in only favorable conditions, never repeated in other circumstances. Truly, this is evidence of conceit, this picky refusal to leave a niche so sparse, merely due to picky taste. They're chauvinists that flaunt their lack of need for pretension. Deny your wonder when you witness their activity. A hummingbird is a narcissist, and if you deny their legitimacy to them, you’re simply in poor taste.

Profundity is corny. But what is it to be horney? Consumed with the notion. Like waves in the ocean. This too shall pass. Hey, you have a nice ass.

The walrus is the pig of the sea. Its tusks are strictly a practice of a malicious nature. They’re not good for survival, they’re not good for any viability. Unless you’re senselessly, argumentatively, and irascibly engaged with the senseless argumentative irascibility of your neighbor. The walrus knows this. That’s why they lounge around in fatness until their neighbor arouses in them an incensed quarrel of violence that accomplishes the desire to laze around in indolence. Two walruses were laying next to each other as if lovers in a bed, one said to the other, you came a long way to wage war on me boy.


“It was some time ago that I realized my interconnectivity with all of humanity. It was then I realized I am no better than the meanest among us. For if there is a criminal nature I am of it, if there is a man incarcerated I am not free, and if there is a man in hell I am burning.”

If there is malice for some then malice is in store. If the nature in man facilitates senselessness with the excuse of principle and the platitude of, “that’s what you deserve” then under the sun there is not one sensible thing to be had. Not one beautiful thing to be owned, let alone a being to share it with. For lurking in our midst, is the persistent agony and suffering at our behest. This is our culminated will, this is our legacy, this, fetid filth, is humanity at large.

In the end, the greatest ecological fitness is the fitness that consumes the least amount of calories for the greatest expenditure of energy. A fly, that disease-spreading pest, climbs up walls in a manner you'd be giggling with glee about. It navigates the air with alacrity that only a fighter pilot would understand and it would be immoral to show to you just how. However, what is supreme? The pine tree. The unassuming, calm presence supporting everything as the irreplaceable cornerstone persisting with not one ask, save for an understanding from the stolid trees surrounding him. The sun is enough for me, the pine tree says. Make a mess of biology and see where it gets you. Striving for survival in stressed discontent. Me? I’m going to sunbathe and take what’s available to me in my near surroundings.

If, to truly change, for better or worse, with the certainty of newfound nature, requires the hardship of painstaking toil and crucible; then where we apply ourselves is all the more of import. For through crucible, you may not mistake where your will is placed, premeditated is a cute euphemism in this instance. So if it is a new nature you seek, then blood and sweat it takes to reap.

A vulture picks up the scraps? But who wants the scraps? A vulture. Is the vulture’s stomach, the ability to swallow putrid meat the blatant niche that shall never go out of style? You’ll rot somehow, the vulture knows. They’ll just bide their time as they cover great expanses. Cause hey, they’re picking up the trash, or wealth, whichever way you want to see it.

It is said… by me that is, that the root is selfish yet the fruit is selfless. The fruit is a fine pursuit. Yet, the motive of the root is itself culminating itself with the intentions of the self. Is there a sheer selfless act to be beheld in any circumstance? Not if you’re not cynical? True, what if we were to give the benefit of the doubt? Pure logical understanding could rip away this illusion and leave asunder the facile nature of altruism itself, however. So, what, in the wake of this disillusionment is left? For are we all truly alone vying for our own benefit? Let us give the benefit of the doubt, and not probe too deeply into the intention. For some things are better left unobserved. I gain nothing from the observation itself and stop short of labeling it malice. So, the information herein you might suppose as the first and last selfless act ever enacted by humanity. You’re welcome.

A zebra depends on the herd for protection. It confuses the lion by claiming it's just as good a meal as its neighbor. The zebra, a prey animal, has made a niche of providing its fear made into a semblance of safety because there's a lot of tasty treats around itself.

What is the capacity for denial? For a fool may with knee-jerk certainty deny anything he may to any authority he fancies. Yet, if you have enough understanding the ring of truth resonates undeniably enthralling into persuasion. This means that you already, partially in the least, have the knowledge yourself. Whether it be by experience, introspective reflection, or careful consideration for observation, the capacity for denial is attained in the capacity that leaves no room for equivocation. Yet, what good is it if you may not purvey it itself to the ignorant? For you might as well be a madman screaming in the wilderness. The wealth of the heart and mind is wealth that enriches of its own accord. It can’t be stolen truly, and it is far too valuable to be bought outright. So, the pursuit itself is the reward itself, the best part is, there’s no destination to be had.

A bear, in some respects, is the supreme ecological fitness. It runs at great speeds and climbs rapidly, it swims competently and smells you long before you’d think the habitat is fit for a bear. It gets its jaws from its veggies and gains its canines from its predatory nature. The bear is the perfect opportunist and there is much argument to be had that it is supreme in physicality. However, humans are social. They collaborate in the creation of a gestalt which just might be coordinated spears surrounding a bear. Don't tell the bear that those it postures aggressively toward are its one true asset for culminated supremacy.

When life gives you lemons, sell them for watermelons. Yet, if those you would sell to are only going to sell them to buy watermelons, they are nearly impossible to sell themselves. The thing is, some people prefer lemons to watermelons. The same way inconsiderate selfish people desire winter for their winter sports in desensitized malice. Hey, if you like lemons, I’m glad there’s a market because I like watermelons.

The swan is rather ugly in its youth. A fat swan never knows beauty. However, if it applies itself no female may deny his dance. The problem is he may not follow. So his dance is for naught. Then again, whoever heard of a fat swan?

The horse doesn’t know it values its lungs. It values its lungs because it values its legs. It values its legs because it values its freedom to roam. It values its environment because it gives that breadth of freedom. All made possible by the invisible peculiarity of hidden, valued lungs.

The frog had a long tongue. Which was good for catching flies. But the frog was too busy croaking for mates. Therefore, the frog was an incompetent suitor. Which is the most abject irony ever known to froggy froggyhoodkind.

It’s one thing to think you’re superior. It’s a far different story when you know for certain that you’re the most exceptional creature on the planet. Not because of the mammoth size you’ll throw around if push comes to shove. Not because of your perfectly dexterous trunk that’s useful for all sorts of things from the prehensile to sniffing or drinking. Not because of the complexity of your language or the fact that you may have a conversation with a neighbor a couple of miles away just by speaking… or even your sensitive emotional intelligence. Not even because a feature of your body creates delusion in an entire culture and has created an entire industry. No, it’s because you don’t digest your food much, because you don’t have to, and as soon as you can say your shit doesn’t stink, then you’ll know for certain, you’re the most exceptional creature on the planet.

Gorillas know they’re a badass. Because Gorillas have their priorities straight. Instead of discourse ad nauseam, they’ll settle the matter and prove exactly what the problem is by getting in your face because guess what? you’re the problem. Instead of doing a tedious daily grind to give everything one’s accrued away for some shelter, the Gorilla will make their home wherever they please and thrive there. And finally, Instead of lengthy courting processes and rigamarole rituals, they tell bitches to get in line because they’re the boss, and guess what? that they are. In conclusion, in order to be a badass, travel out to the jungle where you may express yourself authentically because if you express yourself freely in society, you’re just incarcerated.

Addicts aren’t so bad really. At least they can make up their mind. They can make up their mind about what they like. Be sure, they’re certain they like it because they’ll make up their mind to steal your TV to acquire it. This is true ambition. This is the essence of applying one’s self. Set goals, and do anything and everything to attain them. Even if you’re full of shame and need a hot shower afterward. Probably a majority of the population can’t say they’ve pursued anything as faithfully as an addict has… and for this, I think we should all laud the addict for being go-getters.

If we were to have shelves upon shelves inside compartments where there were droors we could have locks that were locked by a lock where we could keep our keys to the room we keep all of our shelves and compartments and locks. Yet, we’d never keep it there, because then we couldn’t get to it. But thank God we have a place that’s safe, just in case.

Ants are the hardest working creatures in the animal kingdom. Due to their social disapproval. They disapprove if you get out of line. They disapprove if you take a break. They disapprove of free thinking. They disapprove of selfishness. They disapprove of other colonies. They disapprove of treason, yet, if you wish to let your neighbor know about some tasty sugar, they’re all about it. This has the effect of creating a perfect society of diligent workers creating diligent workers to work diligently. Take note of the ant, the next time you get tired, tell your boss you’re sorry, you’re too lazy, and find out what an ant would have to say to you. It’s motivating, trust me.

What if a chauvinist were to approach conceit? Why then he could not find his seat. For if it twer appropriate pride, then a throne he'd abide. Atop his throne, and within his gaze, his trinkets are all neat and complete. Organized and categorized he wonders, truly these trinkets are an affront to my wonder. So throw them out with contempt he seeks. For it is the meek that shall truly reap his treat. Praise and worship they entreat. Now if only he could just find some sleep.

If I was a CEO. I’d be the best CEO. Because I know people like mystery and treasure hunts. So, naturally, I’d make an add for an add that would advertise an add that would give you directions to find the advertisement that would send you to my product. I can’t tell you what the product is, because that’s part of the fun, but don’t worry, you can afford it. Because I’m accepting applicants for advertisements.

I think Giraffes are far too optimistic. If you’ve seen one plant you’ve seen them all. Instead, the Giraffe painstakingly breeds just so it may forage atop the foliage. Cows know the grass is always greener on the other side. Or it’s just as green at the top, whichever you prefer. That’s why cows are fat and happy, because they know they have everything they need in reach of pudginess. Truly, Giraffes are the most senseless creatures on the planet, according to the cows, and if a cow says it, you know it’s exactly sensible. I mean hey, they have the entire dominant species giving them a free ride.

From my perspective, that perspective is nonsensical. Yet, I may understand how from the correct perspective… or rather, the incorrect perspective, that that perspective is a view from which some perspectives have the adequate scope to bring into view the fact that ketchup goes rather nicely on ice cream. At any rate, whatever perspective you take, it’s not going to change my taste, so even though I understand, due to my ability to inhabit the perspective, I think vomiting the dish and eating it again is just as good as the first time.

Here’s something I’ve been struggling with recently, I’d like to express that I don’t give a fuck. Yet, in order to do that I have to give a fuck about not giving a fuck. So I’m giving a fuck about not giving a fuck while truly, I had enough fucks to express that in fact I don’t give a fuck. It’s all very confusing, but I know I’m on the right path. Because you have to admire someone that doesn’t give a fuck, as they’re cool as a cucumber. Everything slides off them, even fucks of not giving a fuck, which therein lies the paradoxical practice of fuckhood fuckery absence.