• Desperado
    2
    I feel so down today yesterday, the day before, the weeks and months and years before too. I feel like I have wasted my youth. I am 25 and never did anything fun till now. I have always been obedient to my parents, a good boy, anti-social, a hardworker.. and now my youth is over. I never had a gf, never enjoyed anything, never had fun.. Even in my college, i never found the time to have fun with friends. And i feel like I have wasted my Life. I don't see any way to get the things I want in life. I have almost given up..

    And then one day out of the blue cancer hits you and you die. .. is there anything you want to say?.
  • tim wood
    8.9k
    No. You're at a beginning. Just breathe, and begin. Not so easy? No, definitely not!

    Dead end? Who says so? You are merely where you are, as is every other person. Consider: there was a time when you, and everyone else, could neither walk not talk, and you leaned all of those things. Something interfered with your learning process and you got stuck, and that happens to everyone; just for some reason you bought into being stuck - you may not have had much choice.

    You have some decisions to make that are cognitively easy, but not-so-easy to implement. How to begin? Four steps. 1) Decide to find a good counselor you can trust; very likely your local minister, rabbi, even priest can provide referrals - you can just go and ask, you don't have to be a member. 2) Commit yourself to going, kick yourself out your front door and go. 3) Find something you like or want - anything, even a daily ice-cream cone - that is reasonably doable that you would enjoy doing, and do it. Repeat #3. And one more. Do not participate any more on this site at least until you have gone through the steps - this is an escape, and, my guess, you've done enough of that.
  • Pfhorrest
    4.6k
    Find something you like or want - anything, even a daily ice-cream cone - that is reasonably doable that you would enjoy doing, and do it.tim wood

    I can vouch for this. When I was going through an existential crisis last year, one day in July I took a walk down the street, and stopped in a little bodega I‘d never paid any attention to before, because I was thirsty, but once there I saw popsicles and got one of them instead, and just walking down the street on a bright summer day licking a popsicle was so enjoyable and lifted my mood so much that I began to do that every day and look forward to it, and just having that little something to look forward to every day made living so much easier.
  • unenlightened
    8.9k
    Alternatively, worry less about your own life and more about all the people who have it far worse and could really use your help. Parents, jobs, education? You are almost as lucky as me!
  • Nils Loc
    1.3k
    Cheer up.

    Life is absurd because wherever you go, there you are. Unless you are not. But that is seldom if if ever the case. It might be the case when you don't notice yourself.

    Spread your wings, gird up thy loins, pull yourself up by your bootstraps -- whatever metaphor you like, engage the search for what might make life worth living. You are a smart young man (?); but settling on meaning requires more than thought; it also requires life-experience.Bitter Crank
  • philosopher004
    77
    I feel so down today yesterday, the day before, the weeks and months and years before too. I feel like I have wasted my youth. I am 25 and never did anything fun till now. I have always been obedient to my parents, a good boy, anti-social, a hardworker.. and now my youth is over. I never had a gf, never enjoyed anything, never had fun.. Even in my college, i never found the time to have fun with friends. And i feel like I have wasted my Life. I don't see any way to get the things I want in life. I have almost given up..Desperado

    If you are feeling down and want to feel happy then contemplate about yourself.This helps a lot in finding what is the thing that holds you back.Unless you experience anxiety,frustration and even the urge to kill yourself you haven't lived the world completely so those emotions too are valuable.Don't go and search on google for motivation quotes and get that half hour adrenaline rush ,it is of no use.Finally everyone wants a good life but only some people make the effort for it,so it doesn't matter how much you have messed up you can always be happy:smile:
  • Michael
    14.5k
    I feel so down today yesterday, the day before, the weeks and months and years before too. I feel like I have wasted my youth. I am 25 and never did anything fun till now. I have always been obedient to my parents, a good boy, anti-social, a hardworker.. and now my youth is over. I never had a gf, never enjoyed anything, never had fun.. Even in my college, i never found the time to have fun with friends. And i feel like I have wasted my Life. I don't see any way to get the things I want in life. I have almost given up..Desperado

    I'm 32 and feel the same way. My life plan was always to win the lottery. Still waiting.

    Although I did have fun for a while. I wish I could go back.
  • Michael
    14.5k
    Alternatively, worry less about your own life and more about all the people who have it far worse and could really use your help. Parents, jobs, education? You are almost as lucky as me!unenlightened

    Yes, knowing that other people are worse off cheers me up too.
  • unenlightened
    8.9k
    Yes, knowing that other people are worse off cheers me up too.Michael

    I'm sorry to hear that. :cry:
  • Fenlander
    10
    Crisis theory suggests that the driver of change is being in a crisis. Indeed, the worse it gets, the more you will change, because you will have too.

    You sound passive, a people pleaser. Learn to be assertive, ask yourself, what do i want?, in every situation, with assertion comes confidence. A new world will open up. . You are a crysalis waiting to be born into a butterfly. And it will happen when you put your hands on your controls.

    Read up on assertion, develop boundaries. The world is waiting for you.
  • Sir2u
    3.4k
    It is a shame that I am not able to go to my office until maybe January so that I could send a picture of something. I have a small mural that some of my students made for me a few years ago. It is made up of about 12 of the things I said over the 5 years I gave them classes. They are aligned in order of what they considered to be of importance.

    Number 1 is "I do not know if you CAN go to the bathroom"
    Number 2 is "Life is a bitch, then you die. Get an education and learn to suck it up"

    I asked why they decided that the first was more important than the others, they explained that it was because they it had taught them to use the correct words all of the time.
    And the second, because I was the first person to make them see that it was really necessary to get an education. They had been told before, but apparently I was the only one to succeed in making them believe it. One of them graduated from Harvard last month, and a few others from good universities around the world including Japan.

    There is no other purpose to life except to live it and make it the best possible life you can.
    If you really think that your life sucks, I invite you to come visit the third world for a while, sort of get an attitude adjustment by seeing those whose lives really do suck.
  • Mindwrencher
    1
    Desperado: You have not wasted or lost anything. All along your path you met relatives, friends, acquaintances, classmates, etc. Everyone you ever met has been influenced by your presence. You have left your footprint in their lives. And they are better for it. You have contributed to their benefit. And they have contributed to you. Feeling that your youth is gone at 25? You have only traveled inches...you have miles upon miles to go. And if you have cancer, we have taken great strides in treatments and even cures for it. The Cancer Treatment Center does not advertise because of failing and failures. They would be a great lace to start.
    Your sense of loss and despondency is most likely your negative epiphany. And you feel negatively. I am a Christian. And several things are facts: God, or the uinverse if that works for you, wanted you enough to make you, Loves you enough to save you, and is faithful and true enough to keep you safe. Hell shall not prevail against God’s ekklesia. Google it.
    As far as being at the end of your....whatever. False assumption. You can start doing right now those things you feel you missed out on. If you always wanted that He-Man doll, you can get one today. If you always wanted to find love, google singles groups would n your area and meet other people. Christian singles. Parents without Partners. Both have people who personally know other groups of like purposes.
    If you have cancer, google Cancer Support Groups in your area, and connect with them. People with like minds/situations/illnesses are a repertoire of valuable ideas, contacts, information and support, among other things.
    You are not even close to the end. Your positive epiphany is overshadowed with negativity. You actually have realized that you need to get out and do stuff that is fun and gives meaning to your 1000 year lifespan. Google Advances In Longevity.
    Do not be deceived, God is in control.
  • Caldwell
    1.3k
    I have always been obedient to my parents, a good boy, anti-social, a hardworker.. and now my youth is over. I never had a gf, never enjoyed anything, never had fun..Desperado

    I'm not going to talk about 'meaning', 'goal', or 'achievement' here cause talks like that don't excite the five senses as much as a thing of the now and the present.

    I'm guessing you're not invested in things of the now and the present -- something that requires your time now, your experience now, or your ability to respond to an emergency situation now.
    For example, if you've ever tried to rescue a domestic household cat or kitten, you'd oversee first on how to retrieve that cat or kitten, bringing it home, assessing the cat's condition, feeding, cleaning, and taking it to the vet if injured. Then, you must now think of the cat's temporary home, then permanent home. All of a sudden, you have a responsibility that requires your time, your space, maybe a little money, then your maturity. You are the overseer from the beginning to end.
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