I think this in of itself is not a problem, this is not something anyone should be trying to fix. The issue is the word "care" not being sufficient. — Judaka
harder said than done to just let it all go. — dimension72
And just stick to the logic of your argument and understand that once people feel they can lose face if they lose their argument, they become very hostile in an discussion. Once you understand that, it's far more easy. It really isn't personal. — ssu
This is deeper than simply not caring what others think. As a former outdoors athlete I experienced this many times. And it wasn't related to safety or competition issues. The mere presence of another changes the experience. — jgill
these things are crucially important — Judaka
This is a wonderful example because it can applied to what we're talking about right now. I'm arguing something and for some odd reason I'm mixing in my ego into what I'm saying. My words have come from my brain, I want to appear "smart", etc. Competitive drive, especially in men- like road rage for example. — dimension72
I'm not sure this is right for this website (I'm relatively new), but I suppose since it's a general "pursuit of wisdom" it will slide. It also has to do with ego and sense of self. The question I asked my self is "What's the best way to not care what others say about you?" To not be embarrassed or self-conscious in front of people, a crowd, etc. and feel in a way totally and fully relaxed. I think you'd have to let go of your sense of self, your ego, and your sense of pride in yourself. Letting go of the image you're trying to cultivate. Now we're told by scientists that this stuff is hardwired into our brains, so it's probably harder said than done to just let it all go.
Your focus would have to be on a task or goal you're trying to accomplish instead of on yourself. Focusing on other people instead of yourself. And having a short memory also I'm sure helps. When you cling on to a certain strain of thinking like "what are they up to" or "what are they thinking about me" or the like, it's like falling into that trap again. It's easy to feel calm and relaxed behind a computer screen with a random username and no information about yourself. But when your name and body is out there and visible it's a different story. — dimension72
The mere presence of another changes the experience. — jgill
The mere presence of another changes the experience. — jgill
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