Yep, just done it. Thanks :)

I know I don't want to live forever because that would be a drag, but I feel instinctively deep down in my unconscious like I want to live forever. It feels that if I don't live forever then everything I do is just a waste of effort. Yet despite this, I know that the appreciation of beauty does not depend on eternal existence. How can such contradictory thoughts/feelings be imputed on to the mind of man? — intrapersona

I think life is more meaningful and important and beautiful because it is impermanent. Eternity would rob life of all of these things for me. Also, eternity sounds kind of boring to me. I cling to life for now - I am not ready to die yet. But I hope if I make it to 80 or so, I shall be ready when the time comes.

OK, well, I guess we differ here, I love self-cultivation for its own sake: I haven't progressed to the stage of loving God and the world in the kind of sense I think you mean it.

OK, well, I guess we differ here, I love self-cultivation for its own sake: I haven't progressed to the stage of loving God and the world in the kind of sense I think you mean it. — Janus

I see. For me, I love self-cultivation too, but I can't say it I do it as end-in-itself. I do it because I know it will be useful on my path. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it. I wasn't always into self-cultivation, it's only when I realised that it's necessary in order to be of any real help in the world that I got very interested in it.

I pursue music, philosophy, painting, and writing in order to understand myself; nothing else, other than intimate human relationship, and generally trying to do no harm, is of much interest. I also value these activities for their transformative power, and I think of transformation in terms of the ultimate renunciation of self-oriented will, but I also see that as being some way off in my case.

I don't worry too much about whether I will ever receive that grace. I think that those who are great in any of the above fields (and other fields of course) will probably be of real help in the world, even if that is not their primary directly-felt motivation.

I pursue music, philosophy, painting, and writing in order to understand myself; nothing else, other than intimate human relationship, and generally trying to do no harm, is of much interest. — Janus

Have you always been this way, ever since you were young?

I think this matter is largely one of personality. For example, I always remember myself having similar aspirations, ever since I was a child. The only way to understand them is to say that they are an expression of my being. And probably the same would be true for you.

I think that those who are great in any of the above fields (and other fields of course) will probably be of real help in the world, even if that is not their primary directly-felt motivation. — Janus

Well yes, I think for the most part I agree.

Have you always been this way, ever since you were young? — Agustino

Probably. I have always tended not to stick with things, so pursuing things in a consistent, disciplined way has always been a struggle. I believe I'm beginning to get there now, after all these years.