• Baden
    16.3k
    You got my vote.
  • Cavacava
    2.4k
    "The declivity where he sat to rest was part of a railroad bed blasted out of the hard shale and lime deposits cut by the Hudson River, which was just down the hill, out of sight, hidden by forestation, backyards, homes. The wind eased through the weeds, pressing on both sides of the track, died, and then came up again hinting of seaweed - the sea miles away opening up into the great harbor of New York, the sea urged by the moon's gravity up the Hudson, that deep yielding estuary, and arriving as a hint of salt in the air, against his face, vised between his knees."

    I like it. The scene kinda falls out of his resting place and it circles around and then circles back after a bit to his knees. I recall traveling up in the West Point area, it is beautiful. I think I would become accustom to reading this prose. I don't like all commas, no adverbs, no passive voice. His words kinda rise and fall , flow along with his description, like the river these sentences describe.
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