• BC
    13.6k
    No. Santa Claus is definitely not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent.

    Santa Claus only knows whether you are sleeping or awake, and whether you have bad or good; he can't tell whether the news if true or fake. His standards of naughty or nice are strictly bourgeois. He creates the impression of omnipresence by being in many places at the same time during one 24 hour period a year, but needs the magical assistance of 8 tiny reindeer who dilate time. His Red Obesity requires 364 days to recharge and he forces Chinese slaves to produce megatons of brightly colored plastic junk. So he can't be counted as omnipotent. He does seem to be fire-resistant, a necessary hold-over from the times when houses used open hearth heating systems, and seems to be coated with Dupont Teflon™, since soot and reindeer shit doesn't seem to stick to him.

    So, he is a decidedly lesser and localized sky god. He had a tawdry affair with Mary Poppins and abused Peter Pan and Tiny Tim. He and Joseph Stalin jointly fathered Donald Trump during a drunken KGB orgy in Moscow--hence the Russian connection. Unfortunately for Donald, he didn't get any of the good genes.

    Any other questions?
  • T Clark
    14k
    Any other questions?Bitter Crank

    How did they "jointly" father Donald Trump? This sounds like more of that Lysenkoism to me.
  • BC
    13.6k
    Stinko Lysenko.

    How did they "jointly" father Donald Trump?T Clark

    How the hell would I know. I wasn't privy to the details, being only 4 months into my own pre-natal career. I just report the fake news. Somebody else will have to provide background. How did Mary remain virginal after giving birth to Jesus and his three brother James, Jude and Simon?
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