I think the problem is that you have made the word ego synonymous to egotistical. — Mr Phil O'Sophy

Well, if there is no desire to be egotistical then, there are some options;

1. One doesn't equate one's ego with selfishness.
2. One is selfless (hence no ego?)
3. One is just desireless.
4. Being egotistical has no meaning for said person.

I seem to fit each one of those points to some degree or another, though I think I lean towards point 4. Giving rise to my self-assessment that the prefix to being egotistical is lacking somewhere.

I've come to the conclusion that through many years of reading about Buddhism, Stoicism, and the likes that the biggest obstruction to happiness is the ego. — Posty McPostface

Just today, someone from a large hiking group took a photo from my instagram account and re-posted about me on their account and it generated hundreds of likes; I like being small and unknown, where I have only a tiny yet intimate handful of friends, so I felt really anxious when I saw the post. It has nothing to do with your ego, because the ego itself is willed in both positive and negative directions, just like pride - that can also be a problem in as much as it can be important - or even love where people bond and form attachments to the wrong type of person just as much as they can love for the right reasons. Happiness is a decision, it a process and one that needs to be honest and well thought out and the ego represents nothing other than making good or bad decisions.

The ego is a concept - the self or the experience you have of you or the 'I' - and so you are the subject based on the actions you choose to do. To give up entirely on yourself is to avoid responsibility and yet treat that avoidance as though it were virtuous. How is doing nothing a virtue? This sacrificial concept has deluded many religious people into assuming that experiencing and expressing oneself as an activity is somehow bad, only because bad people - those who are egocentric - do so. Completely cutting something off will not save you from the risks of making mistakes, on the contrary, it is no different to a bystander who watches someone else commit a crime and does nothing about it while pretending he is guilt-free because he did not act. Inaction is just as much an evil.

As a subject, when your activities - love, anger, passion, kindness, peace - are authentic, you become the subject of your activities and so you begin to experience - the actual activity - and not the experience of your ego, which is only formed when you identify your reality synthetically, such as the narcissism of egocentricity. The point is, there is no ego, there is only experience and the responsibility you have. Not sure why it would take a monk a lifetime sitting in isolation on a mountain to figure that out.

It's just that it's very hard to find people in a like state of mind. — Posty McPostface

To be alive is all there is. Buddhism doesn't speak to ego, it is a Westernized concept. Buddhism speaks to moderation in life.Everyone is different. To search for people, a community, is to to search for sharing. What do you wish to share?

To give up entirely on yourself is to avoid responsibility and yet treat that avoidance as though it were virtuous. How is doing nothing a virtue? — TimeLine

I get the existential postmodernist drift; but, never really cared to feel obligated in some way to take life by its horns and tackle it with resounding action. I ain't no lawyer nor priest, I don't see myself in an ashram or temple. I take the Cynic attitude of letting life deal whatever it has in store for me (did I mention that I had a mental breakdown when I was 17?). It's true that I isolate myself; but, not to such a degree as others are infatuated with themselves to stare at a screen, post what I had for lunch or dinner, and then text someone to keep me preoccupied with random bullshitting.

Life is surreal, no doubt. I just enjoy life in a solipsistic manner at home, in bed.

Addressing your Kantian drift, I don't have any duty to fulfill, I gave up on college, and will most likely work from home online making some spare change to complement my disability pay. My desire to fulfill a duty, say, was already decided when I was discharged from the military, medically, under honorable conditions. So, I tried and failed. I don't feel like a failure though, had I not tried would have been worse.

In a Sisyphean or Wittgensteinian manner, I simply disregard the task of making right the wrongs of the world. It's not my cup of tea, maybe for others but not me.

I have a rich inner life despite the above sentiments. I enjoy living, I don't feel in pain. The depression is manageable. The psychosis is a thing of the past, as far as I can tell. I have no complaints towards other people for my state of affairs. It's just me and my mom, and I find meaning in supporting her morally, financially, and with a sense of care.

Perhaps, what I'm getting at in all my rambling is the lack of care in life that I see. I've worked retail, in a cinema, and gardening and all people care about is their sphere of interest. I rebel against this lack of care for other people. It bothers me that people can't or don't want to care about the welfare of others. I look with envy towards Scandinavian countries or other social democracies, which are so different from the American idolization of the individual or self.

I don't want to end this post with the characteristic feelings of philosophical pessimism, such as; resignation and futility. I'll keep on squeaking by in life.

What do you wish to share? — Rich

I'd like to share my care for other people; but, I lack the compassion to do so. I feel bitter inside from the realization that people don't care as much as I would hope they would.

I'd like to share my care for other people; but, I lack the compassion to do so. I feel bitter inside from the realization that people don't care as much as I would hope they would. — Posty McPostface

Yes, people are what they are and it is not up to us to expect them to be otherwise. We can only be ourselves and share what we wish to share.

Yes, people are what they are and it is not up to us to expect them to be otherwise. We can only be ourselves and share what we wish to share. — Rich

How does one respond to this state of affairs? Pick up the trash and throw it away or just let it pile up and create an even stronger cognitive dissonance?

I've come to the conclusion that through many years of reading about Buddhism, Stoicism, and the likes that the biggest obstruction to happiness is the ego. I've tried mushrooms, once, and feel as though the induced ego death from the psychedelic trip left me with a small to non-existent ego if there was one to begin with. — Posty McPostface

I think you are confusing two types of being "egoless." The first, which is the one that you seem to apply to yourself, comes from having an inadequately formed or realized self. I guess a philosopher would say lack of or inadequacy of will. If it's a problem, it's a psychological or philosophical problem.

On the other hand, my understanding of egolessness as described by Taoism, Buddhism, and other similar philosophies is that it refers to surrendering of ego, will. This process applies to people who already have a well-formed ego and will. It represents a recognition that our self is an illusion which leads to desire and suffering. Final surrender of the will is what they call enlightenment. If it's a problem, it is a spiritual problem.

At this point I generally call on @Wayfarer to step in. In my opinion, he has the best grasp of these types of issues on the forum.

How does one respond to this state of affairs? Pick up the trash and throw it away or just let it pile up and create an even stronger cognitive dissonance? — Posty McPostface

We do the best we can. I have diverse interests that allow me to learn more about myself and life, always in moderation with no expectations other than what unfolds. Your best and only teacher is yourself.

being selfless is not to be without a self, but to direct the self towards others. — Mr Phil O'Sophy

Being desire less is not something you can attain. — Mr Phil O'Sophy

I don't agree. See my response to PMcP's original post.

The point is, there is no ego, there is only experience and the responsibility you have. Not sure why it would take a monk a lifetime sitting in isolation on a mountain to figure that out. — TimeLine

I like your understanding of "ego." I'm not sure if, or how, it's different from the ones I was describing. Almost seems like a combination of both.

I've been told and even asked by people who know me, 'Where is your ego?' — Posty McPostface

No wonder, that's standard questioning from Eastern European parents towards their male children :rofl:

Not sure why it would take a monk a lifetime sitting in isolation on a mountain to figure that out. — TimeLine

:chin: Hmmm someone who doesn't understand what monks do... Right :confused:

To have an ego is to have a sense of self, or to be a conscious thinking subject. Based on everything you've said there you haven't got rid of your ego. You use the words me and I enough times in this post to conclude you do have an ego. The ego is the centre of being.

You even make statements where you hold yourself (your ego) in contrast with other things/people, which again only confirms you have an ego. — Mr Phil O'Sophy

I agree. From what I've seen from Posty on the forum, he seems like a person who doesn't know what they want. It is not infrequent for Posty to radically change aims - one day Posty says he is an idealist and has decided to go back to University to study philosohpy - another Posty says that he will work with a friend on supplement business. These frequent and quick changing in thinking is, I believe, an important clue. I think Posty may contextualise this inability to anchor himself in some purpose or way of life as "egolessness".

"Does anyone else suffer from 'no ego'?"

Not me!

I agree. From what I've seen from Posty on the forum, he seems like a person who doesn't know what they want. It is not infrequent for Posty to radically change aims - one day Posty says he is an idealist and has decided to go back to University to study philosohpy - another Posty says that he will work with a friend on supplement business. These frequent and quick changing in thinking is, I believe, an important clue. I think Posty may contextualise this inability to anchor himself in some purpose or way of life as "egolessness". — Agustino

Posty is just a boat without a rudder, moved by the whims of his desire. The more he limits his desire the better off he will be, methinks. Self-determination is overrated.

And so our egoless poster creates a thread about himself so we can all discuss all that is him.

Does that bother you?

No, just an observation.

You seem to have had some reason for pointing it out though. If you want we can go over said reason. No prejudice, just proposing a thought.

So there's some irony in saying the you in you doesn't exist yet you desperately want to discuss you. In fact, your wanting to hear from me about you is another example of this irony. You love talking about you, sharing your history, your concerns, your limitations, your day to day trial and tribulations.

No criticism, just observation. I'm my favorite topic as well.

So there's some irony in saying the you in you doesn't exist yet you desperately want to discuss you. In fact, your wanting to hear from me about you is another example of this irony. You love talking about you, sharing your history, your concerns, your limitations, your day to day trial and tribulations.

No criticism, just observation. I'm my favorite topic as well. — Hanover

I can only thank the moderators and administrators, you included, for making it possible for me to discuss these matters rather than holding them inside. *Checks if I have enough money in the bank to support this forum*.

Wallows away... — Posty McPostface

Can a person be without ego? In my model, no.

In common parlance, "ego" means a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-image, self-confidence

The latin "ego" is the first person pronoun, I.

The psychoanalytic meaning of "ego" is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.

On most counts, you seem to have (to be) an ego; you are a definite "I", not some nebula who isn't sure if you really exist or not.

Do you feel like your personality, your "you", is maybe not quite a fully realized personality? Do you think your personal identity is not complete? Do you feel that you carry out reality testing fairly well? How have you experienced psychosis (it doesn't seem to be "one size fits all")?

Who is your current avatar?

Do you feel like your personality, your "you", is maybe not quite a fully realized personality? — Bitter Crank

I honestly, don't understand the context where one has a 'realized personality', it sounds like some kind of metaphysical thing. I do have an anti-social or verging on schizotypical personality, so that's quite a pickle.

Maybe, I should prepare for a really bad midlife crisis if I make it that far?

Do you feel that you carry out reality testing fairly well? — Bitter Crank

Yes, I think I am able to tell fact from fiction.

How have you experienced psychosis (it doesn't seem to be "one size fits all")? — Bitter Crank

Mainly a feeling of infinitesimally small significance in the grand scheme of things. Leaves me feeling quite futile, although that hasn't happened in the recent past. Other instances would include feeling inadequate or of low-self esteem. The most recent psychotic or verging on the psychotic was the belief that I was sexually abused as a child. I have good reason to believe this might have happened, though nothing definitive.

Who is your current avatar? — Bitter Crank

Nel Noddings, a feminist philosopher, and public educator.

Mainly a feeling of infinitesimally small significance in the grand scheme of things. Leaves me feeling quite futile, although that hasn't happened in the recent past. Other instances would include feeling inadequate or of low-self esteem. The most recent psychotic or verging on the psychotic was the belief that I was sexually abused as a child. I have good reason to believe this might have happened, though nothing definitive. — Posty McPostface

None of that sounds like psychosis to me, but who am I to judge?

I do have an anti-social or verging on schizotypical personality, so that's quite a pickle. — Posty McPostface

Pickle-Ish indeed.

Sometimes when I look back at my life, and some of the screwy, maladaptive, self-defeating behavior I have displayed on occasion, I sometimes wonder how many screws were (or are) loose. Like, how was I so self-deceived that I thought I would be a successful high school teacher (I flunked student teaching; that was a clue, maybe? Do you think?) Why did I keep taking short term jobs that I knew damn well I would loathe after 15 minutes? Why do I have so many problems with people in authority?

How come I so often didn't perceive just how counter-productive some of my behavior was on the job, and how pissed off supervisors were getting? Or did I just not care? Do I have an antisocial streak? Could be.

I like to be around people for a while, but then enough is enough. I then need a quiet, empty room to recover in. I can see the good sense in a psychiatrist's warning that if I wasn't careful, I'd end up being one of those old guys sitting on his porch with a rifle yelling at the neighbor's kids to get off his lawn.

That was 30 years ago and a) I've been careful b) I don't own a rifle, c) I don't have a porch, and d) the neighbor's kids don't bother me. Fuck the lawn.

Maybe one should just chalk it up to the psychopathology of everyday life. Isn't being deluded a default condition? A supervisor at the U seemed like such a mature stable person. A happy woman, church lady, competent administrator, mother, wife. One day she up and divorced her husband and married an employee half-her-age -- my replacement after I quit the job, as it happened.

Who knows just how crazy everybody actually are? (everybody actually is or actually are?)

You consistently place employment as the source of your past unhappiness and that seems to define your world view in many ways.

Just another observation.

You're welcome. For the record, I don't see you as a troubled soul, just someone curious as to why you see and do things like you do.

It's like 2 am and I'm feeling insightful.

For the record, I don't see you as a troubled soul, just someone curious as to why you see and do things like you do. — Hanover

I was always an empathetic soul, moreso than others from by my take. When I was 8, I cried for a week for being separated from my teacher. Then, around the same time (must have been some feature of the brain being developed) I realized that one day my parents would die, which left me in a sorry predicament. I still think about my mother passing, and it troubles me. At my age, what a pathetic thing, and how much that emotion and sense of emotional dependency I have towards my mum are even more pathetic.

Maybe I belong in a Charlie Chapin skit or something of that sort?

There was a popular psychological self-help book that was on the NYT Best Seller list for years, that I found very helpful in dealing with this kind of question - The Road Less Travelled, by M Scott Peck. It goes into the issue of spiritual formation and self-transcendence with many examples and anecdotes drawn from the author’s cases. I don’t know if it’s still well-regarded but I found it very insightful at the time I read it (long time ago now).

The point about ‘ego’ is not that there’s anything intrinsically the matter with it. It’s ego-centrism that is a problem - ‘the world revolves around me’. Everyone is like that at some point in their lives, usually as adolescents. Part of the getting of wisdom is learning that it doesn’t. An even bigger part is realising that others feel the same way- we all have the same issues, the same anxieties and fears. Really understanding that naturally inclines you to being less ego-centred. I think learning to be useful to others is a great antidote to ego-centricity.

At the same time, being confident in your abilities is not necessarily ego-centric. If you’re called on to do some task, then you need to approach it confidently, and in that sense approach it with belief in your ability. Provided that belief is well-founded, there’s nothing too much the matter with it. But in Western culture, the ‘individualist ethos’ is powerful and it tends towards nourishing a naturally ego-centred view of life, that what counts is ‘what is good for me’. That is something to be aware of.

You consistently place employment as the source of your past unhappiness and that seems to define your world view in many ways. — Hanover

Good observation. I do, and it does. I did have some really rewarding, good job experiences, but I didn't know how to make more of them happen.

Your lack of traditional masculine qualities (self-sufficiency, emotional resiliancy, sense of duty, work ethic) leads me to believe you lacked a strong male role model, if any at all.

Just another observation.

Your lack of traditional masculine qualities (self-sufficiency, emotional resiliancy, sense of duty, work ethic) leads me to believe you lacked a strong male role model, if any at all. — Hanover

Yes and no. It's hard to explain, and once again I'm going to be talking about 'me'. So, I was born and raised in the states but moved around the age of 12-13 to Poland. It's hard to state how much my father changed from a solid, stoic (he's the one that gave me The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, he's also very Aristotelian), and hard working person (He used to have me watch him working on patients as a dentist when I was very young), to a (now in Poland) selfish, non-existent (would go to the "library" all day), empty/wife beating person. Keep in mind that he was an immigrant from the Soviet bloc at the time, when he left Poland and found his way to America. He worked his way up the social ladder, starting as a roofer to getting his licence and living in the canyons of North Hollywood. A bona fide case of coming from rags to riches.

I was not necessarily sad at the time because all the basic amenities were provided to me, and since the dollar goes a lot further in said countries I had a life that was not in any manner (materially) lacking.

The above is the only reason I have decided to stay in the US rather than living on my own somewhere in a social democracy in Europe. I value what my father was, and reviled what he became when free to satisfy every whim and/or desire.

Basically, my father figure self-destructed when he was no longer under any pressure. Tragic really.

Alcohol?