You're the common denominator in all of these troublesome business dealings. — Hanover
It is absolutely possible that I am a bad manager of people, I never claimed to be a good one. As the saying goes though, my mother ain't making a new one, so we're going to have to work with what we have :lol:Being a good producer doesn't always translate into being a good manager and it sounds like you have vendors running amok. — Hanover
That is true, I am quite expensive with what I charge people, and cheap with what I pay people - but for the most part, I have been able to obtain better quality than what I paid for. Largely because I typically understand very well what I need, and I understand the work that I ask others to do (I used to do it myself), so I can't be fooled or short-changed.You get what you pay for. Quality doesn't usually come cheap. — frank
So why is it that people lack seriousness? Why is it that people hide behind reputation, authority, and all the rest? Is it because they are afraid? — Agustino
What did I say?Since your post is quite long, I thought it might help to summarise it for those who are too busy to read the whole thing.
- Why don't people think and act the way I want them to? — Pseudonym
In fact, even on this forum, where people are more intelligent, better read, and more cultured than the average man, even here people lack seriousness. — Agustino
You're not quite getting the drift of what I'm saying at all. This isn't a situation of wishing there were no snakes & spiders. That whole framework is wrong, these people are my vendors, they are not my enemies or my competitors or anything of that nature. We are actually in a symbiotic relationship with each other - they benefit from working with me and I benefit from working with them. The trouble is that such issues can drain a lot of resources and energy, and they create mutual problems which put each party at a disadvantage (and consume our time). It's not that I can't soldier or, that things aren't getting done, etc. Everything is well, but my issue is how can it be better? Can you imagine if these things worked smoothly how much energy would be freed? How much more one could do? Throwing your hands up and saying oh well, there are snakes and spiders, is precisely not to be serious about solving the problem. Sure, one can live with unresolved problems, that's not an issue, but why do that? Why not make things better?If you were traveling through the amazon, would you complain that the snakes and spiders don't seem to be taking their jobs seriously? No. You'd just wake up every morning and say, "Today some snake is going to try to squash me to death." Then you aren't surprised when it happens. No energy wasted on angst that things are what they are. — frank
:lol: That depends what you mean. Am I a perfectionist? Absolutely. Have I been diagnosed with OCD before? Yes. But I would say that at present I don't have symptoms of OCD qua mental illness/disease. My symptoms of OCD were checking the door was locked 1000 times, checking the gas at the oven is switched off 1000 times, etc. Those are all gone now.This a serious question. Do you suffer from OCD? — CuddlyHedgehog
Let's take the relationship between myself and Pseudonym - it is not a serious relationship. Why not? What's making it like that, and what could we (both of us) do to fix that? This is an opportunity for you to investigate your own relationships with others - not only here, but everywhere else in your life. Let's do this - let's do it seriously, not half-heartedly, not disinterestedly - it is YOUR LIFE too that is under discussion. This is what philosophy is meant to be, we are to engage authentically with our experience, and persevere, not settle for easy answers, and displacements of the problem. So are people serious in their relationships with you? Are you serious in your relationships with people? — Agustino
So why is it that people lack seriousness? Why is it that people hide behind reputation, authority, and all the rest? Is it because they are afraid? Afraid of actually encountering the real problem, and not knowing how to solve it, having to find out, and instead preferring to rely on what they are familiar with (the past)? And so, with every problem, they are actually not solving the problem, but they are solving some past, previous problem. And if so, how can we transform our relationship, without having to rely on these psychological defence mechanisms, without having to be ashamed of each other, without being afraid of each other, without playing games with each other, without all this nonsense? — Agustino
I used this often. Takes a lot of practise though. — Benkei
Why don't people think and act the way I want them to? — Pseudonym
Yes, you are correct. I did want people to reflect on their own lives and personal examples in addition to mine. I think going through the process of reflection helps clarify the idea - if you do the work and try to get intimate with it (don't get any unserious thoughts about it now... ) by seeing how it applies to your own life, you'll understand it on a deeper level.One thing that I see in most of the responses you have had is that they have missed what I see as the point. And the reason for that is that you have given in several paragraphs, several examples of you own encounter with a lack of seriousness in others. — unenlightened
Okay, so how can we change this then? I agree with you that the focus of the thread should be about how fear is affecting our relationships, professionally and otherwise. But it should be practical, it shouldn't be merely theoretical. We have to actually consider it, seriously, if I may say so.So you have made it very easy for people to talk about you, and talk about business and management and quite difficult to talk about fear, which we would rather not go into anyway. — unenlightened
Yes, every time I take on a new unfamiliar task, until I clarify things in my mind, and organise everything, and see, with my mind's eye, what the final outcome will look like, I fear. I know this fear, it is almost inescapable. But it is fear mixed with a sort of excitement - it is, if one can put it this way, a sort of anxiety which both draws one towards the future (the future being an end to the anxiety) and pulls one away from the future (the past being a source of comfort, being known). Being too much into the future makes one experience dread and confusion - not knowing how to even approach the problem. Being too much in the past makes on bored. So do you reckon it's possible to be present with the problem as it exists now, and not reach out into the future or go back to the past?Repeating the past is boring, and facing the unknown is scary, and this leads to a sullen half-assed bitter response to life in general. — unenlightened
I agree. I am not a big fan of education and schooling as it exists today. I think the purpose of it actually IS to transform you into a docile robot, who will obey instructions and stay within the lines so to speak. And I do not see school, as understood today, as equipping people to be independent, to be able to stand on their own feet, both psychologically and in matters of work. If anything, I would say that most people get out of school unprepared for the world, with no real skills. And of course, if someone is to be dependent on you, the establishment, then, of course, you cannot give them any real skills, because they would result in freedom, not in dependency. Any real skills are dangerous.A lot of this is the fault of a degraded and degrading education — unenlightened
Interesting criticism from someone who is anti religious freedom. — Buxtebuddha
But the system is as it is, and I doubt it will ever change. The question for me is how can people, once trapped within, find a way out? — Agustino
What do I mean when I say people aren't serious? I mean that they seem to lack the energy, the willingness to delve deeply into problems, without any preconceived notions and pretence of knowledge, without appeals to authority and all the rest of it. It seems to me that people want to get rid of problems, forget about them, pretend to solve them, instead of really go into it and solve it, definitively. — Agustino
I disagree on this. Even when you are joking or humorous you ought to do so seriously. Not half-hearted, not with reservations, etc. No, you ought to joke wholeheartedly, with your whole being. I think seriousness is the right word.To be serious, however, is the wrong word. — TimeLine
One must take their life seriously. One must care about it. Even when one is joking, playing, etc. You must play seriously. — Agustino
mean that they seem to lack the energy, the willingness to delve deeply into problems, without any preconceived notions and pretence of knowledge, without appeals to authority and all the rest of it. — Agustino
I would move on, but I don't know where. Wanna show me? :halo:move on, dear. — CuddlyHedgehog
I think you are using the wrong word and from what I gathered in your post, it is a lack of integrity or apathy that would otherwise motivate one to conduct themselves with integrity either professionally or personally. It is a convenient indifference to moral codes of conduct and perhaps sometimes there may well be a fear to face this 'unknown' which is really just our way to avoid feeling shame and guilt - both sensations that are painful - but it could also be that such apathy is pleasurable; sometimes, our misery or unhappiness is soothed when we do bad shit to others or when others are suffering, a sadistic identification to happiness. Mostly, however, it is a lethargy similar to the Ring of Gyges. — TimeLine
I would be infuriated at the misanthropic bystander that would stare out or pretend that they did not see an injustice, sometimes even more than the actual criminal itself. What would compel a person to hoodwink the elderly for more money, who are comfortable being dishonest, who seem jaundiced about life as though disillusioned to a point that nothing appears beautiful. You'll eventually learn to avoid such people as best as you can. — TimeLine
To be serious, however, is the wrong word. — TimeLine
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