Interesting article on Aeon about loneliness.

Makes me think about the difference between just being alone, and being lonely. Sometimes I’ve felt very lonely in a middle of a party, and sometimes felt very connected while in complete solitude. One could probably make an XY graph of the feeling of loneliness vs simply being alone.

“To study the Buddha Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things. When actualized by myriad things, your body and mind as well as the bodies and minds of others drop away. No trace of enlightenment remains, and this no-trace continues endlessly.” ― Dogen

I wonder if this reflects what was the general point of the thread... But how to forget the self, and still be functional. Maybe one would possibly be even more functional in some ways.

Just an update on the whole disidentification thing.

I stopped trying to disidentify with depression due to the nature of disidentification being that one is cognizant of X in order to disidentify with it. So, basically, I became obsessed with my depression and was trying to disidentify with it. Kind of got stuck in a loop.

I stopped trying to disidentify with depression... — Posty McPostface

Wait a sec... maybe you have something there!

Wait a sec... maybe you have something there! — 0 thru 9

Haha, I can see your point. But, I think I just moved on from thinking incessantly about depression and trying to disidentify with it. Instead, something else became the interest of my mind. Maybe this is the point of disidentification, and I got it all wrong?

I still feel depressed about some things; but, I don't ruminate over it as much though. So, win-win?

:up: Definitely. Whatever seems to be working, and going in a “good direction” (however you’d define such). Whatever gets you through the night, and whatever makes you want to get out of bed in the morning...

Or as I like to say, whatever floats your boat.

Whatever gets your monkey funky? :monkey:

It is what it is.

Disidentify that!

It is what it is. — Posty McPostface

... until it isn’t anymore. Change is the only constant. Well... besides death and taxes. :sweat:

Yes. Disidentification is a mystery of appreciating the non temporal if I'm reading correctly.

Just an update on this.

I find disidentification an extremely powerful tool in addressing issues that arise related to self-identity. By this, I mean to assert that when you think about something related to your identity, then dissociating from that idea is so much easier.

Just to give an example. I live a quiet and humble life and try not to bother anyone. My family thinks I'm not really a 'man', that is assertive or domineering. I don't pay much attention to this issue because I don't identify with the qualities or traits ('prejudices' seems like the appropriate term to use here) that being a man entail. It simply doesn't bother me because I don't identify with the problem. In some ways, I feel as if I'm almost cheating here because the trick to not identify with the source of cognitive dissonance or such is non-existent.

I will be utilizing and refining this handy trick as I go along.

All in all, if you don't identify with a stressor, then it doesn't bother you, and I can attest to that instead of falling into the mental trap of trying to identify with something else or forcing yourself into a certain prejudice of how you ought to be or such.

Dang, that’s it! To me, that seems like a clear description of the practical benefits of being aware of how we identify ourselves. And how other people sometimes can overly influence us because they know what buttons to push. That’s in addition to the way we confuse and stress ourselves. It reminds me of the old Seinfeld episode where George’s hands receive a complement for being attractive. He becomes a hand model, and his whole identity is changed. Hilarity ensues.

Reading the many recent threads about a/theism makes me wonder if there is a correlation between our self identities and our “god” conceptions. It gets very personal quickly. Which is not a problem until the personal feelings, wishes, and needs are (mostly) unconsciously projected upon the rest of life and the world.

I don’t think the goal is to become a non-feeling robot, of course. Pain and sadness are still possible. Reducing self-sabotage can help accept feelings because they are in the tolerable level, instead of being unbearable.