The Doctor

Hello, I'm the doctor.

"Doctor who?", you ask.

Just the doctor.

No, not that doctor. I don't travel through time and space. I travel through the internet to slap some sense into folks in need of my services. I analyse your stupid arguments, diagnose what the problem is, and guide you on the right path.

But for this to work, you have to work with me, not against me. In some cases, the prognosis is hopeful. In others, not so hopeful. And in yet others, it's incurable.

You may consider this my clinic.

So, who's my first patient? :grin:

Fooloso4

↪S

Physician heal thyself. If this is not tongue in cheek what makes you think that you are qualified to guide others on the right path? Are you sure that you are on the right path? Are you sure there is a right path?

praxis

I need a consult. Yesterday I received an unexpected token rhyme from Terrapin Station. See:

https://genius.com/The-grateful-dead-terrapin-station-medley-lyrics

What's going on there?

If this is not tongue in cheek... — Fooloso4

If a bear does not shit in the woods...

Nils Loc

"There is a rock, but no one is there to perceive it, because we all died an hour previously.

Is there a rock? Yes or no?"

What disease causes someone to ask such questions? Or is this a sign of health?

"There is a rock, but no one is there to perceive it, because we all died an hour previously.

Is there a rock? Yes or no?"

What disease causes someone to ask such questions? Or is this a sign of health? — Nils Loc

It is a peculiar phenomenon known as thinking like a philosopher. It can be a symptom of ill health. Caution advised. Therapy may be necessary. Prognosis dependent on how far down the rabbit whole one has travelled, and how good one is at getting oneself out of it. Some assistance can be provided, but you must help me to help you. And I must help myself.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Mixed metaphors?

Fooloso4

If a bear did not shit in the woods... — S

What? You would offer your services?

Galuchat

↪S

The only people qualified to help you with your problem(s) are those who keep you locked in your room.
I know, I know: you are the Doctor, not the one who needs a Doctor.
Just be grateful for the computer and internet connection.

What? You would offer your services? — Fooloso4

Yes, I run a number of successful businesses. How can I help you?

The only people qualified to help you with your problem(s) are those who keep you locked in your room.
I know, I know: you are the Doctor, not the one who needs a Doctor.
Just be grateful for the computer and internet connection. — Galuchat

No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. I know this because I'm the doctor. I can leave here any time I want, I just choose not to. The padding is very comfortable here.

Fooloso4

↪S

Thanks but I have no need for your ersatz bear shit.

Jamal

No, not that doctor. — S

Maybe more like Dr Nick Riviera?

Thanks but I have no need for your ersatz bear shit. — Fooloso4

That's what all of my patients say. We don't want your medicine, doctor! We don't need it! It's like the opposite of hypochondriasis.

Maybe more like Dr Nick Riviera? — jamalrob

Hi everybody!

Sir2u

Guy walks into the doctors office and tells him that his leg hurts really bad.
The doctor does a bunch of test and then tells the patient "There is nothing wrong with your leg, it is just its age."
"Dumbass doctor" the guy cries "they are both the same age and only one hurts"

The Doctor

Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!

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