In any case, bringing reason or conscious will into it will probably just repress actual attraction into a pressurized reservoir where it will remain until it bursts and you're suddenly idealizing someone to both of your mutual detriment. — csalisbury
What an individual will accept for themselves. For example, somebody who in truth feels attracted to a person of a specific description but is unable to accept the love of such a person due to self-perception, and as @csalisbury previously touched on; confusing their own conscious mind and reasoning with something more biologically determined. Getting in their own way. I hope that provides you with the clarity you need.Meanwhile, could you please elaborate bullet 3? — Izat So
If it's possible to decide sexuality through will, then it's possible to decide whom you should be attracted to. Again, whether that constitutes true attraction is up for debate.Also the last bullet seems to be an empirical question. — Izat So
Upon reflection I agree. Perhaps this question was too broadly framed to achieve a concise discussion around the nature of sexuality and sexual attraction.And I don't think these can be disentangled because they coevolved. — Izat So
This is profound. Has this been evidenced or formally classified? Would you say that this is where the realm of paraphilias lie? If so, once a paraphilia has become set as a result of the burst as you put it, how would one determine the difference between true sexual attraction and a paraphilic attraction? — earthlycohort
bringing reason or conscious will into it will probably just repress actual attraction into a pressurized reservoir where it will remain until it bursts and you're suddenly idealizing someone to both of your mutual detriment. — csalisbury
Is it possible for this attraction to be decided in the conscious mind and remain true?
Depends. Again, contingent on context and circumstantial. I believe different people at different times in their life expect/need/want different things from their partners. I feel that younger people want someone they perceive as highly attractive even if that relationship is not meant to last in the long run-it looks good, raises self-esteem, and is filled with lots of hot and heavy sex (maybe I'm drawing too much on personal experience HAHA). Behavioural and intellectual attributes play a slighter role in the short term, but in the long term can cause real problems like boredom and unhappiness. I also feel like there is a pattern where extremely intellectual/smart people are attracted to or end up with, extremely 'dumb' or unintellectual type people-hence the jock and nerd archetype. I liken this to the sheer simple pleasure people like this bring-my boyfriend is not academic-he's a retired football player and doesn't know much about philosophy beyond the old Joe Rogan podcast, but I enjoy being with him because it is a break from my own brain. I think I would go crazy if I were dating someone like me. [/quote]Is attraction solely determined by physical, behavioural and intellectual attributes? Or a combination of all and more?
"You accept the love you think you deserve" -a rip off of the Perks of Being a Wallflower quote. I was in an abusive relationship for almost a year-I definitely believed I deserved it. I still believe I deserved it during that time, I wasn't a nice, or strong, or good person.Could sexuality and attraction be determined simply by what is deemed as what is deserved?
How significant are environmental factors such as maternal and paternal relationships during certain developmental stages?
Once arrived at, can it be changed? How?
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