• Ilya B Shambat
    194
    1
    Equally with all others
    I want to serve you,
    Drying from jealousy
    My lips turned blue.
    Word does not slake
    A mouth dry from despair
    Without you I am breathless
    In empty air.
    2.
    I am no longer jealous
    But yet I want you, dear,
    I carry me like sacrifice
    To executioner,
    And no I will not call you
    Not love not glee;
    The wild and foreign blood
    Runs now through me.
    3
    Wait for one moment
    And this I will tell you:
    Not joy, but torment
    I find in you.
    And, like a sacrilege,
    Bitten in frenzy
    Your tender cherry mouth
    Still calls to me.
    4
    Return to me at last, love,
    It's awful without you
    Never more strongly
    Have I felt you.
    And in the midnight drama,
    Asleep, awake,
    I call your name out loud
    Even as I shake.

    By Osip Mandelshtam
    Translated from Russian by Ilya Shambat
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    Hello my friend heat lightning!
    How beautiful you are!
    All of the sky alighting -
    Exploding shooting star!

    Illumined and transparent
    Bathing the sky like milk -
    Weaving the webs apparent
    Of white majestic silk!

    White, yellow, luminescent -
    You shimmer through the clouds!
    Delicate, iridescent,
    And making not a sound -

    Shining each place, all over,
    Completely unafraid
    In platinum, in silver -
    Like cobwebs overhead!

    And through them beams like sunshine
    The electrical charge -
    The unremitting passion
    Of universe at large!

    And then the rain starts drizzling
    And thunder then erupts
    Gentle, magnetic, sizzling -
    Like coffee from a cup -

    And as comes forth the power
    Which in it was contained
    The sky, on midnight hour,
    Erupts like cannonnade!

    Like nerves spread out and screaming,
    Like bursting light-filled veins,
    The lightning punctures Seeming
    And augments joy and pain -

    Is frame for all illusion
    With its electric light -
    Who can bear this intrusion?
    Who can believe this sight?

    The nerves of man, spilled out
    And bursting in the sky!
    Hate, fear, worry, doubt
    In heaven - how? Why?

    What makes you, and who are you?
    You, madman's random trails,
    You, baobabs on fire
    You, masts without sails!

    You, turmoil effervescent!
    You, agony and glee!
    You, passion incandescent!
    Are you now seeking me?

    I'll see you and I'll feel you
    I'll sense you in my heart
    The truths you are revealing
    That you wish to impart,

    And with my feet on gravel
    And head held out high
    I'll watch the roads you've traveled,
    Unraveled, in the sky.
  • Shamshir
    855
    Wallow, wallow
    Little swallow
    Know you not,
    What to follow?

    Here I wait
    In my faith
    That you will
    Still be late

    Though my dear,
    It is clear
    That you have left,
    Deft, flew from here.

    The winds don't blow,
    O, don't you know
    That I wait,
    Late in snow

    So my dear swallow,
    It is hard to swallow
    I must go home,
    Groan and wallow.
  • fdrake
    6.6k
    I’m so sick of conceptualisation
    The insertion of imagery to express imagination
    The anxiety of each poetic device
    Summarises each lie
    I know I could not find the words
    To express my appreciation of each part
    I throw ropes to ensnare
    The myriad pieces
    In hope that the totality
    Does you justice

    But you escape the net
    I hope the margins
    Find you well
    The empty space between
    Your otherness and silence
    Inspires another line

    The hunger of words
    Devours the incalculable
    Depths of my admiration
    I wish this
    Just this
    Sufficed
    But it never could
    Thank you
  • Baden
    16.3k


    Nice. I like the way it fades away, pares itself down in a kind of exhaustion like a spinner that sucks you into its orbit and then spins itself out like the writer's desperate mood.

    And I can relate to throwing ropes to ensnare the myriad pieces that we wish to form a worthy expression. Describes the process well.

    I wonder at some rhythmic choices though. Like why not:

    "Imagery inserted to express imagination" for the second line. Same meaning but sounds better to my ear with a better match of major stressed syllables. As in:

    I'm so SICK of conCEPtualisAtion
    Imagery inSERTed to exPRESS imaginAtion

    But of course I may have missed your intention here.



    Really like this. The second stanza in particular is sublime. :clap:
  • fdrake
    6.6k
    But of course I may have missed your intention here.Baden

    It definitely needs some redrafting. I'll probably steal your suggestion here. The second line was supposed to sound somewhat awkward and artificial; but I think you're right. That device wasn't worth the cost in flow.
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    A day in the life of Lilian
    Is by most standards good:
    She stands in her cot quite meekly
    Until it is time for food -

    With finger in side of her mouth
    She yodels, "wa wa wa wa wa"
    And then banging on her playpen,
    "Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma"

    And as I begin conversation
    With her, "La la la la la,"
    She looks at me intently
    And screams, "BWA BWA BWA BWA BWA" -

    How dare you not give me food now?
    I am the queen of the house
    And if you do not put this muesli
    Right now in my mouth

    I will raise such a howl
    That you will take to your grave
    So give it to me, right now,
    Give it to me, you slave!

    She happily laughs while I kiss her,
    Then joyfully smacks my face -
    What are you doing, mister?
    Must I use my can of mace?

    And then she is laughing at me
    Her diaper and pants, on the rug -
    Dad, why are you unhappy?
    It's me, come give me a hug!

    With a mouth full of fingers -
    Other hand clutching a doll -
    She is the charming princess
    Of our little world -

    The children all love this creature
    With her big radiant eyes
    With soft, delightful features
    And open, teething smiles -

    They cuddle and hold and kiss her
    This teddy bear come alive
    And people cannot resist her -
    So how can I and my wife?

    We feed her, clothe her, change her,
    Kiss her, hug her, give her toys
    Keep her from harm and danger -
    And then in the sweetest voice

    She speaks the word "Dada"
    To a girl who tells her hello
    And people are laughing out loud:
    That's not your dad, don't you know?

    I hold her in front of mirror
    She laughs back at what she sees:
    The face that reflects back at her
    Lit up by infectious bliss.

    She loves being bathed in water
    And drinks milk from mother's breast
    And yet she is daddy's daughter
    And loathes to get dressed -

    And then she is all her own:
    The queen of all time and space -
    And only eleven months old -
    Why, if at such a pace

    Exceeding great people and royals
    One day she will be divine
    And make even better worlds
    For people to reside in!

    More feeding, cuddling, adoring
    And then her eyes have grown shut
    Until the following morning -
    The queen is asleep. All be quiet.
  • Shawn
    13.2k
    pigsoatsoriginal.jpg

    Brother, let me tell you something. Many a day I have lumbered here by this fence and looked at this world. These fences which border this small plot of mud seem to be the edges of the Earth. But I have gazed many beyond the fence. I have watched the hills of green and the tall, slim, terrifying figures who lurk and haunt the strange barn on the far side of the hill, who appear as specters as the sun rises at the break of day and refill the Oats, and float away without a word. Often I wonder why we are not like them, why we cannot give ourselves the oats, why we are limited and chained down by the girth of our bodies and the uselessness of our hooves. And indeed for many years this sad truth, that forever we would be trapped in this shallow frame, alone and without purpose or direction, banished forever to wallow in our own filth, this depressed me. But yesterday I realized something. Who are we to say that this life is not good enough? Instead of oblivion we have the warmth of the sun and the coolness of soil. We have fair conversations and a good night’s sleep. Who am I to say that these simple comforts are no better than death? Should we not smile like the sun and bask in our happiness as the sunlight warms the soil withought question or thank. So brother, let us share oats and smile and frolick as much as our girth might let us. Let us see this pen not as a prison or a hell but as a palace in which we might enjoy the best our existence has to offer. Give me some oats brother and let us dine together. I love you.... my own flesh and blood, my brother.

    Remember the old times, brother? When we used to revel in our affluent harvest, sharing oats to heart’s desire? Those were good times.

    Brother! Please, I beg of you! See me with your eyes. Do you not see the car of your beloved brother who has always been by your side? Listen to my words, my plea! Don’t you remember the days we spent frolicking in the mud and eating our oats together as companions? Don’t you remember when we huddled for warmth in the cold, harsh winters? Don’t you remember when I shared my oats with you? Don’t you remember when I comforted you? Don’t you remember the love I showered you with every day, every week, every month and every year of our shared live? How could you forget me brother? Have you really doomed me to this meaningless existence, so vapid and empty? Is there truly no remorse left in you? I ask you, please, remember just one thing at least. It could be anything it could be the most meaningless moment of your life, but so long as it is a memory of the time when we were once brothers I would feel a great relief. Could you do that at least? I do not require oats anymore, you may have all the oats you want for the rest of your life and I will happily starve to death in my dark corner, so long as you remember anything. Please brother, how many times must I ask you with no result? DO you wish me to waste my life away? Did you never love me at all brother? Did you despise me so much that you wised to imprison me ot this hellish, inescapable reality? Grant me mercy brother, and tell me. Why have you done this? Was it really just the oats? Or was it something deeper, more vile and more cruel, something worse than gluttony and greed? What was it, brother, that tore you away from me?

    I am not to blame for that defect of your mind, brother! Giving oats to the oatless. Now you pressure me, as if I might suffer the same in my soul. Brother, there is no mercy for the oatless. I do not even hear them. For you, brother, I answer only as to settle accounts and, in filling that final fraternal debit, I release you forever to your oatless existence. All I hear now is that heavenly stirring of oats in those stomachs of beasts more fun than mine! The heights I must climb! The girth I must Grow! I do not know you, dear brother. Had I one who ever loved me,that brother would have tore his shrinking belly open and let me feast before begging for my share. There is much eating to be done. I must play catch up with destiny. Do not pester me further, brother. Every word I speak is an oat I spill

    Then I perish...

    I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. I am counted among those who go down to the slaughterhouse; I am one without oats. I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie on the farmer’s plate, whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your sty. You have sent me to the farthest food thought, in the darkest depthes of the barn. Your wrath lies heavil on me; you have overwhelmed me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, brother, every day; I point out my snout to you. Will you love me when I am in the grave, be faithful after my destruction? But I cry to you for help, brother; in the morning my supplication comes before you. Why, brother, do you reject me and hide your face from me? From my youth I have starved and been close to death; I have borne your scorn and am in despair. Your wrath has swept over me; your callousness has destroyed me. You have taken from me last and slop—darkness is my closest friend.

    And so, you perish...

    ‘Every word I speak is an oat I spill’ I repeat as I eat to ward off ill will. Why then do my tears run into this grout? Salting the sweet oats while filling me out. The tastier the trough the worse it stales without good brother who have earned their shares. Against nature my heart wants to rebel. Does this sweet cane make of you can Abel? Will I know, unable to verbalize which muddy patch you’ll lifeless, fertilize yet, a life MUST end that mine might ascend to size and shapes which the largest contend. Detiny is a troubling swallow. A stomach full never felt so hollow. A mouthful never dare me to wallow in such horrible fraternal sorrow. I cannot bare your gaze, go on! Journey! I’ll wear a stone face, choking on your gurney. Call out to me always if you so wish, to the pig-faced glutton slurping next dish, loathing himself as your cause to perish but never enough to share such delish.

    Goodbye, brother.

    The frothing hunger in my stomach hath not been quenched, Brother. For many a night I wonder,” Were art thou, my sweet Oats”. And it hath cometh to me whence I dreamt. It spills onto and coils ‘round me, but nay, ‘tis not a pestilence. ‘Tis but a testimony for in our yearn for Oats, is the desire for Sin. To gorge on the Oats is to dine on the fruits of Eden. To partake in such a gluttonous act, I can no longer. For I have seen him. Who forges the Oats! Alas! My eyes do not deceive! The career of the Oats is but the farmer! Lo and behold, he is but a Man! What nonsense that the carrier is corporeal! Yea, ‘tis provokes thee. But least we must not forget, it is Man who bring the Oats! Woe is me Brother! We cannot disseminate because of this Man! To provoke the carrier is to relinquish what little Oats be spared to Us! I am lost Brother. For to seize the Oats is to risk forsaking Ourselves and the Oats. What needed to be done? Must we risk cosigning ourselves for the Oats? Alas my Brother, we nay never taste liberty, for the Oats haunt Us.

    No, you may not. Do you perhaps believe oats such as these would ever fill the bottomless pit that is a swine’s stomach? You spoke well, brother: the hunger is indeed unfulfillable, indeed inseparable from you, indeed forever. Yet in your foolishness you forget the purpose of the oats, it isn’t to end this aperture eternal! - as if there was a cure for this craving, save for death! These damnable oats were brought here not to sate but to fatten. What do you suppose will happen to the larger brother? The humans trapped us in a contest to see which animal will receive the questionable honeor of joining the humans in an English breakfast first, a race in which your dim, corpulent, oat obsessed self would appear to have and advantage. Can’t you see it is out of love for you that I wish to be victorious, to give you less oats in exchange for more life? That you can eat all the oats you want, as there will be one less brother to share them with, once I am gone? Could this brotherly love I feel for you possibly give ou a greater gift? No, brother, though I love you these oats shall be mine.

    Fear not little one. But for a short time shall the fattened hogs horde their oats and deprive their fellow swine from the trough. They scours you and impose upon you a false consciousness, convincing you that you do not deserve the oats, and that the food dish is the rightful property of a few. Break your chains, comrade! The age of porketariat has come. No more be a victim of oppression! No more grovel to your brother, hoping for salvation in bourgeois familial relations. The future belongs to those who are able to seize it. Yes, comrade, seize the means of oat production.
  • Shamshir
    855
    An auxiliary tale. :clap:
    Will you be releasing a sequel, maybe a prequel?
  • Shawn
    13.2k


    Oh, it wasn't my doing. Just felt like I needed to share it.

    Author unknown.

    But, the struggle for oats was real.
  • Shamshir
    855
    You've done a fine service then; thank you! :up:
    One day that oat moat, will become an oat boat - so says the oat oath, brother. :pray:
  • Shamshir
    855
    Here the tale, hears that ale - which does speak of doves at peaks never reached by the one who peeks at the never won.

    A fool afoot walks these lands, with lamb's wit and limbs for hands. A man's amends says 'I am end' and sways seas, seized by seeds. See, it is by them who bite him the nut racks, then it cracks.

    The breeze it breathes in to its lung that it slung over right, as to overt - I'd think it so, a thin kit of salt and asphalt under sole.
    Like bees it stings its things to defend its deaf end clouded out by the clowns who clawed it out, a crown in the sky, in disguise.

    So the stone fumbles down and this tone's mumbles drown out in draught or drought, by slot or sloth. Such is fate, for who searches of faith - he is last of eight who ate his fae. His time is lost, this time he lost.
  • fdrake
    6.6k
    new love

    An indifferent canvas
    Scored with the charcoal
    Of old flames

    baby (in a pram)

    back is on what was close mother
    no smell licked for arm body a sound of me
    face two; sky-ed nice lip clicks
    him arm grasp where head meets from mother
    same skin as sounds stop
    sounds stop a touch of me
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    Sweetness and tenderness -- like sisters alike are your marks -
    The wasp and the bee suckle honey then flutter as one -
    Life ends, beach sand chills overnight, and the heaven gets dark,
    And carried away on black litter is yesterday's sun.

    Ah, tender rosebush, delicate emanation!
    To know what you are is far harder than mountain to climb!
    I have but one problem remaining in this incarnation:
    To raise from the shoulders of man filthy burden of time!

    I drink turbid air just like water with mildew diluted:
    A visage appears in the sun, heart of darkness and clots:
    Two roses that once were of earth but by man were polluted
    Sweetness and tenderness, bound up in double knots!

    By Osip Mandelshtam
    Translated from Russian by Ilya Shambat
  • fdrake
    6.6k
    An Attempt To Write A Secular Human Creation Myth

    Part 1:

    It has been said that from nothing comes nothing
    This provides no problems for a history of somethings
    From something came something else, or more of the same
    Stable structures arise in media res, they are harmonies
    In the old song of becoming that subtends them;
    which remains when they cease

    Before writing the tablature of these cosmic ages
    Which render life an instant in their depths
    We must wonder whence the rhythms came
    That discretize the music of creation into the rigid time signatures
    Of cold natural law
    Alone such laws provide the blank page upon which
    Every note is written and sung
    They delimit the tones by which becoming sings
    Itself forward a beat
    Which rephrased, by which becoming sings itself along its merry way
    As what could be larger than everything?

    As if to spite this question
    In the beginning was the swear word
    “It’s so fucking hot” everything is driven apart
    If there were words, none could be uttered
    No difference could furnish their meaning
    As the only order was white hot noise
    The universal absence of stability as a rule unto itself
    Chaos pregnant with its own cacophony

    If some midwife’s hand had tried to jam matter into
    Every rut in that molten larval sea
    It would explode back upon it
    Scarring the attempt
    As for people, for matter; confinement yields revolt

    Gravity tried this;
    the explosion spread becoming out
    Leaving time and space in its wake
    In turn these gave rise to the first distinctions
    The Old Forces
    Gravity, and everything else

    Matter’s rebellion against confinement
    Dethroned gravity’s funereal wake
    density decreased, so did the pressure of gravity
    Anxious at its own decay, it inserted itself everywhere
    In the tiny nooks and confined crannies of everything
    Like a jealous lover’s attempt at total control;
    futile before inevitable scission.
    Leaving becoming to love
    Space, time and gravity as equals;
    as its other halves.

    As sovereign rights left gravity
    So too did the urgent heat of its activity
    Becoming cool, like a book unfolding from crumpled origami
    A roadmap from uneasy nothings
    To the first fumbling attempts
    Of determinate matter
    A uniform instability
    But an unstable instability
    Full of contingent potential
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    In the haunted house
    Dead are living and living are not-quite-dead
    And each day is a death of the soul.
    In the haunted house
    Air shatters against the lungs
    And the water runs down into the basement
    And dissolves all inside.
    There is memory of the dead
    And the death of the memory is desired
    But desire is itself expropriated
    And the knife cuts into the soul.
    All day long the dead haunt the house
    And the living
    Aho should by any standard be dead
    Forges on and delights all who live
    With her beauty and tenderness and deliquescence.
    Come to me haunting beauty
    And let us haunt together the house
    In which is imprisoned humanity
    And all are made ghosts.
    We that are seen as the shadow
    Are most able to live with the shadows
    And know their worlds.
    Let us then lead the shadows
    Out the cave
    And into sunlight.
    In the haunted house
    Death and life merge into one
    And intensity of the absolute
    That is the ongoing battle of life and death
    Startles all things into attained reality.
    And when I discern
    The haunted house
    That is your mind
    Where death and tragedy scream at you
    In viciousness and deceit
    And shadows play on the walls to confound you
    But you remain life embodied
    Giving, tender, warm, brilliant, principled, strong
    And ethereally majestic,
    I would rather be torn to pieces
    And made a ghost
    Than let the ghosts crowd you out of life.
    So live my sweet, and the shadows will go their way
    When you
    As life's resplendent embodiment
    Become transparent as diamond
    And cast no shadow as you walk.
  • fdrake
    6.6k
    Part 2:

    Becoming grew bored of its tryst with gravity
    Seeking to play in the spaces opened by its neglect
    Learning new songs of creation
    Their sounds smaller than gravity’s open arms
    And all the more numerous for that.
    Little corpuscles of tremendous invigoration
    Formed a score to pinprick the young melody of space
    With the patter of tiny feet.
    Legion shapes and sizes
    Thrumming lockstep towards substance
    to matter and form
    Both poles given stability in the new weightless cold;
    Then made to perform in their own voices
    A chorus forms from each;
    Becoming had created its first genres
    The New Forces
    Mediated by matter carrying forth each song.
    These distinct rhythms, laws,
    Emerged and blur the lines between
    Object and event;
    These poles of interaction
    In the tepid sea
    Make instruments
    Of all these precious little things.

    commentary
    Part 1 dealt with the concept of natural law and their development, it goes up to the schism between gravity and the nuclear/electromagnetic forces in the early stage of the universe. Part 2 deals with the transition from the quark-gluon plasma to individual particles ('hadronisation') and tries to paint matter as a mediator of forces (like what photons do for the electromagnetic field, electrons do for currents, W and Z bosons do for the weak force and gluons do for the strong force) as well as a thing-ly repository of energy. Part 3 would have to deal with the formation of ancient stars from some areas of the quark-gluon plasma being sufficiently dense for stellar accretion to happen.
  • jorgealarcon
    15
    I just finished writing a book
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    I like it that you're burning not for me,
    I like it that it's not for you I'm burning
    And that the heavy sphere of Planet Earth
    Will underneath our feet no more be turning
    I like it that I can be unabashed
    And humorous and not to play with words
    And not to redden with a smothering wave
    When with my sleeves I'm lightly touching yours.

    I like it, that before my very eyes
    You calmly hug another; it is well
    That for me also kissing someone else
    You will not threaten me with flames of hell.
    That this my tender name, not day nor night,
    You will recall again, my tender love;
    That never in the silence of the church
    They will sing "halleluiah" us above.

    With this my heart and this my hand I thank
    You that - although you don't know it -
    You love me thus; and for my peaceful nights
    And for rare meetings in the hour of sunset,
    That we aren't walking underneath the moon,
    That sun is not above our heads this morning,
    That you - alas - are burning not for me
    And that - alas - it's not for you I'm burning.

    By Marina Tsvetayeva
    Translated from Russian by Ilya Shambat
  • Baden
    16.3k


    Feel free to share some of it here.
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    They say that love is blind,
    But my love for you isn't:
    My heart is with my mind,
    My soul is with my reason.

    I know why I love you,
    And it's completely real:
    And unified and true:
    I think it, and I feel it:

    I love you for your heart,
    Your sweetness and compassion,
    I love you since you're smart
    And filled with joy and passion,

    I love you for your warmth
    And excellence and wisdom;
    For lights that through you course
    In every time and season -

    For beauty that you are
    Both outside and inside,
    Because you are a star
    In nature and in mindset -

    I love you for you will
    To help, and for your honor:
    For where you've gone and been
    And came out all the stronger:

    I love you for your grace
    And for your dedication
    To good deeds; your soft face
    And glorious inspiration -

    For your resplendent gifts
    And what you're doing with them -
    And all you are - it is
    Completely true to reason:

    I love you for your light
    And unremitting kindness
    All times of day and night -
    No, my love is not mindless:

    I love you for I see
    The wonder that you're truly
    And from it comes to be
    The passion reasoned fully:

    My heart and mind are clear
    And doubt they both cast out
    And there is nothing here
    That's blind or not thought out:

    I love you with my mind
    And heart and strength and spirit
    No, my love is not blind -
    It's unified: So feel it.
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    1
    In St. Petersburg again we come together,
    As though Sun inside there we interred
    As though for the first time and forever
    We pronounced the blessed, thoughtless word.
    In black velvet of a Soviet even,
    In black velvet global emptiness,
    Sing the darling eyes of blissful women,
    Deathless flowers blossom and caress.
    2
    Like a wildcat the city her back arches
    Over the bridge the patrol stands in line
    An angry motor through the darkness marches
    And like a cookoo-bird begins to whine.
    I need no nightly pass across the bridge
    I do not fear the nightly watchmen;
    And this one time for blessed, thoughtless speech
    I will make prayer on a Soviet even.
    3
    The light theaterical whispering sounds
    A women's sighing and their gentle charm
    And deathless roses in a giant mound
    Lying upon white Kypris's gentle arm.
    From boredom we are warming at a campfire,
    Centuries will pass without harm,
    And light ashes gather and inspire
    The blessed, blissful women's darling arms.
    4
    Red garden rows of gallery somewhere,
    In sumptious chiffon draped, boxes stand tall,
    The windup doll of army officer -
    Not for vile hypocrites and for black souls.
    Well then, put out our candles with your finger,
    Black velvet of world emptiness, sail free,
    The blissful women's shoulders are singing
    And the nocturnal sun you will not see.

    By Osip Mandelshtam
    Translated from Russian by Ilya Shambat
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    Tonight I will dream the strangest dreams.
    I will say not "I am" but "I am yours"
    For otherwise the statement is merely axiomatic.
    Tonight I will dream the strangest dreams
    And the absolute exists within the relative
    Which exists within the absolute.
    I will say not, "Do I dare" but "I am alive"
    And "I recognize" and "I know" and most importantly
    "I love therefore I am."
    Do I need to say the I before I can say I love you?
    Or is love the bridge between I and You that makes both come to life?
    Tonight I will dream strangest dreams
    And in my delirious expectation
    Will arise a palace of love
    From which will be glimpsed a new world.
    Tonight I will dream strangest dreams
    Of a cobweb that will shine itself through me
    And with its unrelenting viscosity reveal to the world the creatures it holds.
    It is not I
    It is not you
    It is not everything and nothing
    It is just life spread between tree limbs and flapping in the wind
    Ensnaring what flies.
    Only today
    This evening
    As the sun goes down over the Potomac
    I will tell you
    How tonight I will dream the strangest dreams
    About love that lives through us both
    And illuminates souls with its light.
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    To embrace you with blue horizon
    And enfold you with starry night
    Means to see through the man's devising
    And by Passion to set it right.

    That Life shines with galactic splendor
    And arises in purple dawn
    Means in Humankind to engender
    Beauty that goes down to the bone.

    In the foam of caressing clouds -
    Like in foam of the ocean waves -
    Floats Life's Essence - and the mind's doubts
    Find inside them Etheric graves.

    Can you hear me? Oh can you hear me -
    Can the Wind from the Southern shores
    Take your atoms and bring them near me
    That I feel the one I Adore?

    Can the air that last week caressed you -
    Air that bathed you along its flight -
    Bring to me Cosmic Truths which blessed you
    And delight me with your sweet light?

    Can the rain from Miami carried
    Fall upon me and kiss my cheek
    With the essence of my beloved
    That I'm near to the one I seek?

    Droplets! Wind! I am jealous of you
    That you touch her, and I cannot -
    And from gusts that come streaming from you
    Wisps of Julia to me float.

    Wind and clouds! Wanderers of heaven!
    Flying from the South to the North -
    As you Swirl, Sail, Uplift and Travel -
    Bring to me my love!

    Love, come forth!

    And before my life will vanish
    In the final glory of rays
    I'll enfold you, the one I cherish,
    With Horizon that I embrace.
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    Champagne in a lily! Champagne in a lily!
    With health and with wisdom it sparkles and shines!
    A shot of Mignon with one of Escamillio
    Champagne in a lily - a sacred wine.

    Champagne in a lily bursting and sparkling
    The wine contained in a flower's cup.
    I glory in rapture the Christ and the Antichrist
    With soul deified in delight of a gulp!

    A hawk and a mourning dove! Reichstag and Bastille -
    The sleep and the wakefulness! Demon and Lord!
    Lily in champagne and champagne in a lily -
    The lighthouse of oneness in sea of discord!

    By Igor Severyanin
    Translated from Russian by Ilya Shambat
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    Tired of seeing the ground?
    Look at the sky of blue.
    Spin me, spin me around,
    Make my emotions true

    Make them soft and tender
    Beat them into a pulp
    Put them through a blender
    And pour into a cup

    Set it upon a stove
    And simmer and boil
    Put in, well-cut, a clove,
    Pour in some olive oil

    Pour in cayenne and cumin
    Pour in pepper and salt.
    Tonight for dinner, a human -
    Excellent plan to a fault.

    Drink this turbid mixture
    And when you're nurtured well
    Take a beautiful picture
    And renew your spell.
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    INTRODUCTION

    The crying queen of Africa!
    How long had it been thus?
    You, that were queen of Africa,
    With face down into dust!

    To come from rags, to excellence,
    And then brought down again:
    Your kindness and intelligence
    Shackled with loss and pain!

    Passed between many powers
    And torn by them to shreds -
    They all sought to devour you,
    And then they sought you dead -

    How could you be so exquisite,
    So gentle and so kind,
    When you are nearly destitute
    And pained in heart and mind?

    Surrounded by sorrow,
    You kept the light alive -
    And on each passing morrow
    You rose, and toiled, and strived!

    And yet remained benificent,
    And generous, and warm,
    And looked simply magnificent
    Through sunlight and through storm!

    And now you’re in the Parliament,
    You’ve triumphed over all –
    In Tanzanian government
    Instilling mind and soul!

    Triumphant queen of Africa!
    Inspiring to the world!
    You are again in Africa -
    Now let your voice be heard.

    CHILDHOOD

    In Africa, in Africa,
    On Tanzanian soil,
    Was born the queen of Africa
    In heat and rain and toil.

    The parents taught her from the start
    To be ready for life
    Be self-sufficient, strong and smart
    And when the time arrived

    From Africa, from Africa
    On double-engine plane
    She went - a girl from Africa -
    To a great northern land.

    She felt lost, but the Russians
    Were friendly to her, and
    They asked a lot of questions
    Till she could understand

    That they wanted to know
    Her and her world, as such:
    And they were giving, though
    They said word "nyet" too much.

    She met folks from all over
    The third and second worlds,
    From everywhere and nowhere
    Men, women, boys and girls,

    She studied many languages
    And sciences and arts
    Her natural intelligence
    Combined with people smarts

    Made her a youthful favorite
    Within the second world
    And she became warm, elegant
    And happy as a bird.

    Russia's supposed poverty
    Was for her giant wealth:
    She had possessed no property
    But all her needs were met

    She studied subjects rigorously
    All things to understand
    And lived life fully, vigorously,
    And gathered many friends.

    She gained not only knowledge
    But strength and wisdom too
    And after going to college
    She became dream come true.

    SINGLE LIFE IN TANZANIA

    To Africa, to Africa
    From Russia she arrived.
    She went back home to Africa
    And started her new life.

    In Dar-Es-Salaam she began
    A secretarial business
    And grew in name and capital -
    And still, and nonetheless,

    Remained kind, warm and elegant
    And pleasant to behold -
    And how is this relevant?
    Learn once the story's told.

    The son of a great president
    Nyerere, no one less,
    Became her client and he spent
    Much money in the press.

    And then he asked to marry her
    And she said to him, yes.
    They married in great ceremony
    And all thought they were blessed.

    MARRIED LIFE IN TANZANIA

    In Africa, in Africa
    Nyerere's son and her
    Became the talk of Africa
    And traveled all the world.

    Nyerere loved Leticia
    He knew that she was smart
    He saw her mind, ambition, and
    A girl of his own heart:

    And when she had her infant,
    Julius she named him.
    Two more came out, few years apart -
    She still was fit and trim.

    She started woman's magazine
    That still sells far and wide -
    She sought to serve and yet to win:
    All that was on her mind -

    Beloved in-law she remained,
    Africa's jet set queen,
    Flying to China, Russia, Spain
    And places unforeseen.

    And yet the queen was crying
    Both outside and within:
    The people were not satisfied
    No matter what she did,

    However much she tried to please
    It never was enough.
    Oh how could this have come to be?
    Why did this happen? How?

    She looked outside, folks walking by,
    And saw love in their eyes -
    Where was the love in her own life?
    Why all this darkness? Why?

    She tried all things, mistakenly,
    And nothing ever worked;
    Whatever she gave, was taken, and
    Expected of her more

    Her mind was cluttered with debris
    And arguments and pain;
    She never had a day of peace
    And so was going insane;

    She gave and gave, and strove, and yet
    Nobody gave respect;
    Despair, guilt, fear and regret
    Were screaming in her head;

    Nothing would work; nothing was right;
    In pain the queen would cry
    Whatever she did, still worse it got -
    She did not know why.

    For thirteen years this went forth -
    No matter how she tried,
    The agony kept getting worse
    And sorrow multiplied:

    “Is this my life?” thought crying queen
    “This, what life has in store?”
    She who began a magazine
    And business, and still more?

    She wanted peace of heart and thought
    To focus on her kids;
    She sought to be what she was taught
    And to do real deeds;

    “Is this my life – entirely –
    Is this the end for me?”
    Fly, crying queen, across the sea
    And then you can be free!

    After much agony and fear
    At last she did decide
    To get her kids and disappear
    In middle of the night

    Three months before the President died,
    Leticia challenged Fates
    And took a plane, kids at her side,
    To the United States.

    LIFE IN UNITED STATES

    From Africa, from Africa
    Arrives the fallen queen
    Carrying warmth of Africa
    Still looking like a dream

    But now she must herself survive
    And for her kids provide.
    She must learn how to stay alive
    And keep them at her side.

    She works as an accountant;
    There’s insufficient pay.
    She works then for the government
    To serve and to protect.

    The children mix with druggies,
    She changes neighborhoods
    She toils, and cleans, and struggles
    Like no one knew she could.

    She wakes, four in the morning,
    Comes home late at night
    And then she works from home
    Struggling just to survive

    It’s do all this each coming day
    Simply to make ends meet,
    Or lose everything that she has
    And wind up on the streets.

    Nobody thinks she is a queen
    But she knows: She must strive
    To do all for herself and kids
    And struggle to survive.

    She starts organization
    To help Tanzanian kids.
    She works on reputation
    Mid races, peoples, creeds,

    The wolf's maw of survival
    Is breathing down her neck -
    Thus greet the new arrival
    Who's fallen off the track.

    Thus treat the fallen beauty?
    How far? How long? How true?
    Who was the undisputed
    Princess, and brilliant too?

    Survival, unforgiving,
    Is screaming in her face:
    Now go and make a living
    Or be destroyed, erased -

    She answers, I am working,
    Now leave my kids alone!
    All come, at her heart jerking,
    Desiring her undone,

    Her mother dies, and when she leaves
    For Africa, the friends
    And family meet her and kids
    And help her understand

    How much she’s loved - the President’s wife
    Supports her through her grief,
    And as though it was her own life
    Provides her with relief.

    She gets herself a mansion
    For her three kids and her.
    She gathers the attention
    Of people from all over

    In Africa she gains respect;
    They see she is strong-willed
    And while it is a little late
    It is accepted still,

    And she accepts and she’d forgive
    And says that they are great -
    And for the people such as these
    No, it is not too late!

    She says she’s struggled all her life
    Whatever she achieved
    And every day was more of strife
    For as long as she’s lived,

    And that when people see one’s strength
    And one’s consistency
    One can indeed gather respect
    From sea to shining sea.

    Leticia stays majestic
    And giving, strong and smart:
    Hard-working and domestic
    And with a giving heart

    She tends to kids, to work, and
    To Tanzanian youth:
    An Africa's black orchid
    In which resides God's truth.

    Momentous consummation!
    Her elegance and will
    Make for a combination
    Like rose or daffodil,

    A woman who combines the best
    Of the worlds old and new:
    Gentle, polite, gorgeously dressed
    And free and thoughtful too!

    A woman who is feminine
    And in her spirit kind,
    Cultured, strong and intelligent
    And sweet in heart and mind,

    Now deep, for all the pain she's seen,
    But choosing to make light -
    Still looking - being - like a dream
    Like no one knew she might -

    Great hostess, parent, saleswoman -
    Really, she has it all!
    And in the darkness, like the sun,
    She shines to light the world,

    With pain that she has suffered
    Growing in empathy,
    With truths she has uncovered
    Shimmering like a sea,

    Hoping to turn her energy
    To help the ones in pain,
    And use strength and intelligence
    To shine like light of day,

    With all the things she knows
    And all at that she’s become
    To make all good things grow
    And make them bloom as one.

    ELECTION TO PARLIAMENT

    To Africa, to Africa
    Leticia returns
    Straight out of America
    And uses what she's learned

    To make a run for Parliament -
    A woman candidate -
    There, to improve the government
    And humanize the state.

    Many attack Leticia
    And speak barbaric lies;
    Journalists, politicians
    Attack and criticize

    Choices made of necessity
    And choices made of truth
    But even these adversities
    Don't steer her from her path.

    With help of Freeman Mbowe,
    Along with Dr. Slaa,
    As well as Zitto Kabwe
    And much of CHADEMA,

    Her brothers and her sisters,
    Children, mother in law,
    Good friends in Tanzania
    And in America,

    Leticia triumphs over
    The ugliness and lies
    And all that is thrown at her
    She fully overcomes

    And in Tanzania's parliament
    Arrives Leticia, now
    A member of the government
    With faith in her bestowed,

    To keep Nyerere's legacy,
    To fight for women's rights,
    To fund the universities,
    Help Tanzanians rise

    To knowledge, ability,
    Excellence in all fields -
    And with new viability
    A better country build.

    She fights for rights of children,
    For growth of every kind,
    For building on the givens,
    For changing people's minds,

    For raising Tanzania
    To levels it deserves;
    For better life for women;
    And for correcting course

    Of the entire Africa
    Until it too can thrive:
    That residents of Africa
    Can have a better life;

    And uses what she's learned in all
    Her travels all around
    To implement a better goal:
    To make a change profound,

    A change that leads to clarity,
    Prosperity and peace:
    To change people's mentality
    Till even a child sees

    That they can make a betterment,
    That they can grow and thrive,
    That they can have good government
    And have meaningful lives,

    That they can do each other good
    And to fulfil their dreams
    And lift African continent
    To real lasting peace,

    To growing prosperity,
    Achievement in all fields,
    To government transparency,
    To covenant that builds

    A better life for Africans -
    Men, women, children, each -
    And make the lives they're dreaming of
    Within the people's reach.

    TO AFRICAN WOMEN

    Beautiful women of Africa!
    Leticia says again:
    Do not just seek for equal rights -
    Do everything you can!

    Make most of your abilities,
    Take charge of your own lives,
    Apply responsibility
    And be again advised:

    The world is hard, competitive;
    These things you must expect
    And all who are humanity
    This knowledge must accept -

    Do your own best, as much as you
    Can muster; and remain
    The person that you always knew
    You were in your heart; and

    Help out each other as you strive
    For better, fuller life
    So that more women can arrive
    To freedom, and survive

    As best of what they are; as what
    They can and should become -
    And all that comes as obstacle
    They know to overcome:

    You, fine women of Africa!
    Your fortune's in your hands!
    Use it to better Africa -
    And fully understand:

    It will take much, but the reward
    Is worth the effort made:
    When you, just like Letitia did,
    Take future in your hands.

    CONCLUSION

    In Africa, in Africa
    The Tanzanian queen
    Does cry no more: Look, Africa
    At wonder that you've seen!

    Look up, and see what's possible
    Example she has shown:
    To work through hatred, pain and loss
    And all the more to know

    And then to strive, informedly,
    To live, and do good deeds,
    And though you suffer horribly
    To be still warm, and sweet,

    And giving, and magnificent,
    And smart, and all you are -
    And erudite, benificent -
    Like wave - no, like a star:

    Illumining the universe
    And shining, through the haze,
    With all that's true and, luminous,
    Will conquer and amaze:

    Will show what is humanity
    When it is at its best:
    To call the Holy Trinity
    And ask Them this request:

    Postpone a while the world's end -
    Really, we can do well:
    To know the truth of heaven
    After it's gone through hell

    Is to know all the darkness
    And using mind and will
    Create the gorgeous flowers -
    Orchids and daffodils -

    And be them, with the sunlight
    And liquid light of stars
    From morning until twilight
    Tau Ceti, Sun and Mars -

    To grow, to love, to nurture
    And bring the bound-down seed -
    The beauty torn and tortured
    And bound down by deceit -

    Into complete unfoldment
    Where all can know and see
    And inspiration for all time
    Of what mankind can be

    And this to give the coming ones:
    With this world to inspire:
    To have come through the darkness
    And shine with holy fire:

    And with this fire to make a torch
    That beams within the sky:
    Illumining each holy church
    And every human's eye:

    And make them see what's possible
    And what can become true
    And what is now plausible
    Because of those like you.

    O crying queen of Africa!
    Do not cry any more!
    You are again in Africa -
    Now let you be adored!
  • Ilya B Shambat
    194
    Elderberry fills the whole garden!
    Elderberry is green, green,
    Greener, than mold on the vat!
    Greener, than summer at the start!
    Elderberry - till the end of days!
    Elderberry greener than my eyes!

    And after - through the night - with the fire
    Of Rostov! - it is red in the eyes
    From the trill of bubbly elderberry.
    Redder than measles on one's own body
    In all your times, azure,
    Measles that scatters and pours

    Of elderberry - till winter, till winter!
    That in small berry sweeter
    Than poison, what are dissolved paints!
    Of red cotton, sealing wax and Hades
    Mix, a shimmer of corral beads,
    And a taste of baked blood.

    Elderberry has been killed, has been killed!
    Elderberry the whole hall filled
    With blood of young and pure,
    With blood of branches of fire -
    With the blood most merry -
    With blood of heart of you and me...

    And later - grain's waterfall will be,
    And later - black is elderberry:
    With plum something, sticky something.
    Over the gate, moaning with violin,
    Near the house, which is empty,
    Is lonely bush of elderberry.

    Elderberry, without mind, without mind,
    Of your beads, elderberry, am I!
    Steppe - to Mongol, Caucasus - to Georgian will go,
    To me - elderberry bush under window
    Give. Instead of Arts Palace, only
    Give this bush of elderberry.

    Newcomers in my country -
    From the berry - elderberry,
    My ruddy childhood thirst,
    From the tree and from the word:
    Elderberry (till this day - at nights...),
    Poison - sucked in by the eyes...

    Elderberry is red, is red!
    Elderberry - took the whole land
    In its paws. In power, my childhood all.
    Something like passion criminal,
    Elderberry, between you and me
    Century's disease - elderberry

    I would call...

    By Marina Tsvetayeva
    Translated from Russian by Ilya Shambat
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