It's a peculiar feeling to be tired of life. Rudderless really.

Trying to answer my own questions is difficult; but, one needs goals in life to sustain one's fire in a manner of speaking. Yet, I have no desire to really change anything in my life. It's this nagging urge to not feel depressed that is bothering me, as I have come to accept it.

If it will not go away, that's fine, I just have to learn to cope with it. But, that sense of coping with something that is at the same time within and out of one's control is not fun.

A wise man once said : "To be alive is to undo your belt and look for trouble!'

Good advice I reckon.

I don’t know how old you are. But I imagine what you feel is not unknown to older people. Being tired of life is a very common experience for them. Maybe go and have a chat with people of older age, 70 on, and see what they have to say. Of course they may not open up immediately, stiff upper lip and all that sort of thing, so you may need to persevere.

yet, I have no desire to really change anything in my life . It's this nagging urge to not feel depressed that is bothering me, as I have come to accept it. — Wallows

When it is harder to suffer than change, we change.

If it will not go away, that's fine, I just have to learn to cope with it. But, that sense of coping with something that is at the same time within and out of one's control is not fun. — Wallows

Yes, learning coping skills is awesome and necessary BUT you have to apply the skill/coping tool to an advancement of how to handle some difficult/challenge from your past, likely present as well so it doesn't disrupt your future.

Begin by experiencing one different act everyday. A simple act of interaction that helps another will give you a sense of purpose.

Walk outside or go to the store and help an elderly person load or unload their groceries. Make that daily act, find someone in need and give them a smile. By recognizing that as shitty as we might see our own life upclose, a stranger only knows who we present ourselves as today.

There is also great wisdom in the suggestion @Brett made. The Salvation army is always opening their arms to day help. No long tern commitment necessary but it is good food for the soul. :sparkle:

Ps: many of us are "tired of life" until we make a purposeful decision and then you will be tired, not of life but because of living life. You have it within you. :strong:

I don’t know how old you are. — Brett

29, too young for this sort of shit>?

Maybe go and have a chat with people of older age, 70 on, and see what they have to say. Of course they may not open up immediately, stiff upper lip and all that sort of thing, so you may need to persevere. — Brett

I will go on wallowing...

Yes, learning coping skills is awesome and necessary BUT you have to apply the skill/coping tool to an advancement of how to handle some difficult/challenge from your past, likely present as well so it doesn't disrupt your future. — ArguingWAristotleTiff

Well, here I chime in and say, no! I don't like the fetishism of psychology to fixate on some botched past. It is what it is.

Ps: many of us are "tired of life" until we make a purposeful decision and then you will be tired, not of life but because of living life. You have it within you. :strong: — ArguingWAristotleTiff

Wallowsome, but acceptable.

I don’t get you, but I don’t know you well enough to advise you. You do seem to have quite a strong personality and equally unafraid to use it here.

I do agree about the fetishism of psychology with the past.

My point about older people, in case it wasn’t made clear enough, is that they live with their physical aches and pains, the idea that old age is not going to go away, and the long past with so many botched moments. But they get up every morning, do the same deadly routine, deal with the same problems over and over and face up to it.

I swim with a small group of older men, up to the mid eighties in age. Some have lost partners, some have cancer or suffered a stroke. They get up every morning and head down the beach, push themselves through the water and always comment on how good they feel. Bitching and arguing is also part of this process.

I don’t get you, but I don’t know you well enough to advise you. You do seem to have quite a strong personality and equally unafraid to use it here. — Brett

Neither do I get me. To be unbiased and honest, here, I think I'm just pretty self-indulgent and downright spoiled. I have no apparent reason to hate my life; but, I don't find it rewarding or useful in many ways. I've spent a good portion of my life on online forums, asking for help, whining, and complaining about complaining. It's a self-justifying thing with me.

My point about older people, in case it wasn’t made clear enough, is that they live with their physical aches and pains, the idea that old age is not going to go away, and the long past with so many botched moments. But they get up every morning, do the same deadly routine, deal with the same problems over and over and face up to it.

I swim with a small group of older men, up to the mid eighties in age. Some have lost partners, some have cancer or suffered a stroke. They get up every morning and head down the beach, push themselves through the water and always comment on how good they feel. Bitching and arguing is also part of this process. — Brett

See, I wouldn't mind being at the end of my life, and just spending the rest with family or recollecting about it having been experienced and gone through. Yet, I am quite young, and find existence burdensome. The only time when I'm happy is before sleep, sleeping, and the half-hour after waking up. The rest of my waking life is spent in bed or checking my phone for new posts here.

And, I don't think it's not "depression" anymore. It's always been depression with me, as my mother, and closest relatives know that about me. Yet, I've tried countless drugs for depression, CBT, and a little bit of therapy. Nothing seems to help. I do think about suicide a lot and have talked about it as if it we're eating an ice-cream.

Again, my spoiled attitude seems to be the issue here, and character-building is prevented by this attitude. Am I not taking life seriously enough? Perhaps...

Y’know, at 29 I was still full of the bullshit of my youth. I thought I was a mature male, but I wasn’t. You do seem to be pretty self indulgent and lazy. Why the hell should you try harder? You need someone wiser and more experienced than me to kick you in the ass. But you know that anyway, don’t you.

Y’know, at 29 I was still full of the bullshit of my youth. I thought I was a mature male, but I wasn’t. You do seem to be pretty self indulgent and lazy. Why the hell should you try harder? You need someone wiser and more experienced than me to kick you in the ass. But you know that anyway, don’t you. — Brett

Daddy issues left untouched, pretty much. I don't plan on committing suicide though. I have to see through helping my mom out and making it past that age when she makes her departure. I don't look forward to that day; but, neither do I see much to live once she is gone.

The thing is everyone thinks their issues are only theirs, that everyone else gets by fine. But eventually you realise those issues are just the human condition and not yours alone. Growing up takes time, peak maturity happens around 40. So how can you judge from your little anthill?

The thing is everyone thinks their issues are only theirs, that everyone else gets by fine. But eventually you realise those issues are just the human condition and not yours alone. Growing up takes time, peak maturity happens around 40. So how can you judge from your little anthill? — Brett

One takeaway thing from group therapy is the realization that you're not alone and others simply have it worse.

The issue here is that it just keeps on repeating itself here. On and on and on...

Yep. That’s what I’m saying about the elderly. But they get up, get out, then bitch about it. It’s good therapy.

You’re the ultimate minority, aren’t you?

Yep. That’s what I’m saying about the elderly. But they get up, get out, then bitch about it. It’s good therapy. — Brett

Ehh, I'm gonna suspend the navel-gazing for some time, if me, myself, and I will allow it so.

One pastime to get me through the day was taking ADHD meds, and killing time reading or doing something productive.

Can I skip my 30-60's and get the badge of approval to complain and whine away?

You’re the ultimate minority, aren’t you? — Brett

But, I like my world, or not?

:razz:

One pastime to get me through the day was taking ADHD meds, and killing time reading or doing something productive. — Wallows

Define productive.

I challenge you to change your profile name.

Define productive. — Brett

For me? It's a very stipulative (low expectations) meaning of (not) wallowing as much.

I challenge you to change your profile name. — Brett

The tacit agreement between me and Baden was that this one was final. My spectrum of human emotions has and probably be defined by this nick.

The tacit agreement between me and Baden was that this one was final. My spectrum of human emotions has and probably be defined by this nick. — Wallows

Okay. I was playing in ignorance there.

Y’know productive means something is produced.

Y’know productive means something is produced. — Brett

Full disclosure, I'm on SSI (welfare). I literally have nothing to complain about.

This is getting pathetic...

Probably.

Probably. — Brett

End my misery. Are you a cop by chance? I'm holding a loaded banana point-blank.

Eat it.

Eat it. — Brett

The banana? Oh, I put it away. It was an enticing opportunity though.

*changes the topic*

Have you ever been depressed, Brett?

I really don’t know. Fed up at times, despondent, passive.

I really don’t know. Fed up at times, despondent, passive. — Brett

I mean, you work with people, right? You've seen worse, that always broadens the scope of one's solipsistic world, right? It sounds as if you would want someone to ask, do I have any right to be depressed?

With me, it's probably bona fide depression mired with apathy and doing too many drugs.

I think you’re caught in a loop, a vicious cycle as they used to say. I’m about to go out and buy myself a cup of coffee. You should do the same.

I think you’re caught in a loop, a vicious cycle as they used to say. I’m about to go out and buy myself a cup of coffee. You should do the same. — Brett

Yes, I shall wallow and await your return, as I just ate dinner (provided by a local food bank)...

*And, yet, once again, I just flat out state that I really have no reason to be depressed*