• Craiya
    15
    What would you say to a person who always complains about everything and sees only the negative side? People tend to lose their energy and positive mind when they're with him and so they decide to isolate themselves from this person, thinking they can't help him. You can see he is bothered and unhappy, but then again, he's doing this to himself, no? At least, that's what people say.

    But I think it's not that simple. We all have different experiences and the more different those experiences are, the more they change our point of view. But it still doesn't feel right seeing somebody sad... Should you try and help this man? Even if he says (and most likely even thinks) there is no other way of how he could live?
  • Anthony
    197
    "Whatever you try to avoid becomes the very basis of your consciousness." - Sadghuru

    Avoidance of negativity, then, fills one with negativity (gunpowder kegs). Sadly, the most dysfunctional defense mechanism, denial, is central to the positivity movement (how so many could be unaware of this is and index of mob psychology having taken over).

    It would be just as imbalanced always trying to establish positivity, toxic actually (so there's toxic positivity and toxic negativity). Beware of mistaking ego or self for the full extent of consciousness. Identification with positivity does not mean you are positive; if one's self-ideal is positive it does not mean he is (by the bye, self-ideal is a delusional image which leads to mania). There is what you are and nothing else; of course the portions of the psyche you can include in awareness changes, but what you really are is much more expansive than awareness of one or two pixels of the complete picture.

    No one is so perfect as to be happy all the time, if they say so, they are identified with ego to a large extent, and may have little inward awareness (eg. the friends of a self-proclaimed positivist may not see him as being very positive even though he preaches positivity). Ego says, "I'm positive" meanwhile, in the subconscious swirls anger, hate, and violence. Inner awareness has to find the defilements that refuse repose and keep light shone on them; and there are no actions to take in doing away with restlessness...it has to be negated by negating all action. Once all action (and reward seeking behavior) is negated...awareness, and much more of it remains.

    If nobody takes anything else from reading this post, take this: stop thinking in terms of negativity and start thinking in terms of anger, hatred, and violence. Diminish anger, hate, and violence and you will have found whatever "negativity" means left behind, rest assured.

    We all suffer. It doesn't mean we have to suffer with anger, hate, restlessness, hostility, and ultimately, violence. Suffer peaceably. It's hard to cultivate passivity in modernity. There are so many things we can do nothing about. We are taught to be achievers, raised on the restless Spirit of Conquest. What do you do about the unconquerable? Of course we are insinuated with violence never even realizing it. If we work hard enough and achieve enough...nothing is impossible...right? A recipe for disaster.
  • Metaphyzik
    83
    Well that is a difficult situation. For those that have to interact with him there are a few factors to consider.

    1. Have a firewall. Having your own state of mind affected can be avoided. A good firewall takes a lot of work and is tough to follow through on. But if it is a known threat then it can be worth it.

    2. Endurance is more importance than truth. Bukowsky. If u hear it enough u will believe it to be true. Don’t lose an active role in a conversation or you will lose the narrative and get worn down. If u can be the one dominating the conversation then you won’t turn negative.

    3. Depending on the nature of the conversations he is probably suffering from a mental disorder of some kind. If he contradicts himself over time that’s usually an identifying sign.

    He can be helped... but only by strength. By someone stronger than him who cannot be dominated by his negativity.... but if it is a mental disorder he will recoil and not find an even footing with the interlocutor ... start to contradict himself... etc etc.
  • TheYoungPhilosopher
    6
    “The predominant thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to its nature.”
    -Charles Haanel
    According to this idea, a positive mindset will bring positive circumstances. However, a negative mindset will also bring negative circumstances. Even if you do not believe in the law of attraction, the mindset is where everything is determined. A situation can only be considered in a negative light if the mind says so. “A real man makes his own luck” (Billy Zane). For many, luck is not an all encompassing presence like the Force in Star Wars; luck is determined by the way that we see situations.

    In addition to telling this to the man, I would also sympathize with his situation. Even mourn outwardly if the situation is that immense. However, I would not let what befalls him alter my disposition or life. I would definitely care about the man and worry about his well-being, but regardless of what the world brings, it is important to keep one’s own calm and happiness.
    “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters” -Epictetus
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