Beckett: '“I tried to groan, Help! Help! But the tone that came out was that of polite conversation.” — csalisbury
I would say if you think you have mental health issues then dropping acid probably isn't the best idea. — Pantagruel
Neurologist is a great suggestion, I'm just in that bad zone of health insurance/income where my deductible is too high to justify a non-emergency visit. I think what you feel when you miss your antidepressant is the same 'family' of thing I"m experiencing. It's annoying and difficult to convey and overall strange. Regarding alleviation - booze definitely helps. But, then, the day after its 3x as strong (if not more.) It does seem to lessen a little if I get a really good night's sleep. And it's worse if I get very little sleep. Meditation definitely helps - it's still there, but I 'm less frustrated by it, and I can see around it a little better.I haven't the vaguest notion of what ails you, but for comparison: When I miss several doses of my antidepressant, I experience a feeling of pressure in my head, the sound of water sloshing around (in my skull, not in my ears), and in general feel ill. When I try to describe this to my doctor I can tell it's not registering as a sensible [something that can be sensed] description. He can't feel my pain, let alone my vague feeling of pressure or water sloshing around.
The walking wounded are of course better off than those in hospital, but at least those in hospital seem to have something that can be treated. Or maybe not.
I have no suggestions either, which is unusual for me. You are probably in some nether region of psychiatry where undiagnosable vague symptoms are the rule, and nobody ever gets much satisfaction from seeing a doctor.
Ah ha: Here's a suggestion -- I knew one would pop up. Have you been examined by a neurologist? -- just to make sure that nothing is amiss neurologically. Neurologists deal with more concrete matters than psychiatrists, it seems like.
Question: is there any time, place, or activity that seems to exaggerate or relieve these symptoms? — Bitter Crank
Since my teenage years, I've dealt with a vague smear of mental illness related problems. Also, since my childhood years, I've always had a streamlined persona that's engineered, in part, to deflect questions ('nothing to see here'.) These two things have been in conflict for a while. Part of the problem is that the latter thing takes automatic control when I'm with strangers (in psychiatric jargon, I never 'present' with what I'm actually dealing with.) Beckett: '“I tried to groan, Help! Help! But the tone that came out was that of polite conversation.”
No matter what's going on, I can retain the polite, rational view and doctors tend to draw it out of me. And I get that - from my short stints in mental institutions, I've seen that there are loads of people suffering way worse than me and with way fewer resources. If I automatically speak calmly and reasonably, then it make sense to discharge me and free up a bed for someone who is more clearly disorganized.
After a few rounds of that, I realized I'm going to have to take care of myself, and have done so. It's tricky, but I can mask my symptoms at work, and make it through. However there's one major symptom which I don't understand and can't find the resources to understand. I realize this isn't a medical forum, and big disclaimer, i'm not looking for any medical or pyschiatric advice, and won't take anything said as that - I'm just curious about any thoughts on this.
For about five years, I've had a pressure in my head. It's not a headache, it's not painful -tho it is uncomfortable. My awareness tends to focus on it, its drawn to it. It began as a vague pressure. In the past two years, its felt more like a weird amorphous presence. It moves around, like a cloud. Sometimes it feels almost like a hand massaging my brain, in an uncomfortable way. Once, last year, I took acid, and watched big widescreen 4k nature videos with my roomate - I could feel this thing slowly dissolving, one piece at a time, but it was just the tip of whatever that iceberg is. A few pieces melted away, but most if it remained.
I'm aware this, like all spooky mental health stuff, is uncomfortable to talk about for others, and for me too. But I feel mostly sane and rational. I go to work, perform my job normally. I pay my bills. I can talk about a given subject normally, if that's what's asked. But this thing is always there, especially the last few years.
I would just live with it, only it seems to take up a lot of my awareness, and to be a block of some sorts. Whatever it is, it's severely impiging on my qualitity of life .
I guess I'm curious if anyone has heard of something like this, or has any ideas about what it is, or how to deal with it. I ingenously tried the psychiatric establishment, but it didn't work (even if that's my fault), and I'm not sure what else to do. — csalisbury
Maybe. But I've found that acid, in reasonable doses (& with the right set & setting) is relatively gentle, sometimes even gently cathartic. Honestly, a short plane-flight does me worse. (that said, I have difficulty with even the smallest amounts of THC, while others don't blink an eye. who knows how this stuff works.) — csalisbury
http://www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/76thestonemind.html76. The Stone Mind
Hogen, a Chinese Zen teacher, lived alone in a small temple in the country. One day four traveling monks appeared and asked if they might make a fire in his yard to warm themselves.
While they were building the fire, Hogen heard them arguing about subjectivity and objectivity. He joined them and said: "There is a big stone. Do you consider it to be inside or outside your mind?"
One of the monks replied: "From the Buddhist viewpoint everything is an objectification of mind, so I would say that the stone is inside my mind."
"Your head must feel very heavy," observed Hogen, "if you are carrying around a stone like that in your mind."
I don't think it is physical. — csalisbury
I guess I'm curious if anyone has heard of something like this, or has any ideas about what it is, or how to deal with it. I ingenously tried the psychiatric establishment, but it didn't work (even if that's my fault), and I'm not sure what else to do. — csalisbury
though I do feel that the preference for suffering divides along lines other than believers/nonbelievers. I do think militant unbelief is usually correlated with a preference for suffering, but maybe because that's a way-of-being that falls along that other line. (If I had to venture into what the line is, I'm not totally sure, but it has something to do with being injured, and then counterbalancing with a certain kind-of self-dominance that makes you in charge of inflicting your own suffering, so you won't get hurt worse by the outside. If that is the case, there's something of that in me, even if no longer manifests along belief/nonbelief lines. You can feel unworthy of prayer, in the same way you can feel unworthy of sex, or artistic creation, or social inclusion. That's a hard thing to work on, I'm trying gropingly to understand it better.As unbelievers often prefer to keep suffering, they probably should.
I wish you well and hate to hear you're having a difficult time. — Hanover
The therapy I've tried, so far, has too much talking, — csalisbury
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