• unenlightened
    9.2k
    Better?Banno

    No.

    Quite often when people are afraid of death, they are even more afraid of life.unenlightened

    No!

    Some recognised that life will continue after they are gone, and those left behind will have to deal with it.
    Banno

    I am clearly and explicitly talking about "people who are afraid of death"
    I don't think you are, but about people who "die quietly".
  • Deletedmemberzc
    2.5k
    So yes, we do know what happens after you die.Banno

    Quibbling.

    You know some of the things that happen when other people die. Granted. That was never in question and I can only assume you know that was never in question.

    You don't know what your death will be like.
  • Pinprick
    950
    Anything I can think of as meaningful is within my consciousness, which is lost when we die.I-wonder

    I disagree with this. In a way, sure, the only experience you have necessarily requires consciousness, but is your experience the only one that is meaningful? Isn’t it meaningful that the people you love and care about are happy, or having fun, or some other pleasurable experience? Don’t you find certain concepts to be meaningful? Equality? Autonomy? Love? Didn’t these concepts exist prior to your consciousness? If so, then can’t it be expected that they will continue to exist after you die? If you have children, then you could be happy about the things you’re able to pass on to them even after you’re dead. Maybe try viewing your consciousness as a sort of medium through which you get to experience meaningful concepts, emotions, etc.
  • Hanover
    12.8k
    The night my cat died, she came to me. There were no indications that she was going to die. But she just sat at the foot of my bed and stared at me. I had no idea I truly meant anything to her, and I just laughed and thought it was absurd, the way she was staring at me.

    In her sleep she began running, and I laughed again. Silly cat. In the morning she was lifeless, still in the pose as if she was running.
    neonspectraltoast

    Sounds like she had a seizure and you're a sociopath.
  • frank
    15.7k
    Basically, I find losing all this beautiful experience, and the potential to experience things in the future, terrifying and heartbreaking.I-wonder

    I don't think it's common to be tranquil about it, especially if you're given to pondering, which you appear to be.

    Maybe it's just the downside to being a pondering person. There's a positive side to it as well, right?
  • Banno
    24.8k
    You don't know what your death will be like.ZzzoneiroCosm

    Well, I haven't done it yet. So that's not all that surprising. I don't know what my lunch will be like, either.
  • I-wonder
    47

    I didn't deny others experience, but what others will experience won't be what I experience.
    If you think I'm being selfish, you have to understand that I help people, and want happiness for others, but when I die that will be without value for me because I won't be there.
  • I-wonder
    47

    I guess being more ready to it is the positive side to it. I feel like I'm accepting it slowly.
    Then somehow things get repeated, I'm in a battle with myself.
    But the discussion here helped tremendously to see my problem through others' lenses.
  • neonspectraltoast
    258


    She was old, and you're a goddamned fool.
  • Pinprick
    950
    I didn't deny others experience, but what others will experience won't be what I experience.I-wonder

    Right, but don’t you find that thought comforting? That others will still experience joy? To me all experience is meaningful, regardless of who’s doing the experiencing.
  • A Seagull
    615
    ↪A Seagull
    One of the things I find happiness in is learning about the universe.
    I-wonder

    Me too. It is totally fascinating. Which is why I keep doing it.
  • Deletedmemberzc
    2.5k
    I don't know what my lunch will be like, either.Banno

    Death is a lot like lunch - if you've never had a lunch.
  • I-wonder
    47

    I found being a part of the universe comforting.
    I also find the idea if people&life forms experiencing all kind of incredible things before, during and after I die.
    But none of those is enough to accept oblivion.
    I have to accept the no returning.
    I'm still 18, I have time, hopefully.
  • I-wonder
    47

    The most fascinating thing about studying the universe is that it is nature studying itself.
    We're part of nature.
    And that's mind-blowing.
  • Banno
    24.8k


    I used to have a hat like that...
  • Banno
    24.8k
    I am clearly and explicitly talking about "people who are afraid of death"unenlightened

    Well, here's a misfire; you were talking about my man:

    It's not your man's fault if people don't take his advice. Quite often when people are afraid of death, they are even more afraid of life.unenlightened

    And my "No!" was directed at the supposition that he was afraid of death, and hence went quietly.
  • Hanover
    12.8k
    How can I feel tranquil about losing all value in existing, in losing consciousness itself and forever?I-wonder

    You don't need to wait until you die for things to suck. It sounds like you're young enough to have in store the death of some close relatives and friends, some job losses, and some heart breaks, You'll have a flat tire in the rain, you'll drop your phone in a puddle, and you'll fall a really big test. You'll fight hard and lose. You'll lose your faith. You'll sit and wait for something and it won't happen.

    And there will be the opposite. You'll hold someone's hand and they'll squeeze it harder, you'll look into your child's perfect eyes, you'll cross the finish line first, you'll see the sunrise, and you'll feel like you're at home.

    And, yes, you'll surely die even if you don't do anything else I've predicted.

    I can only tell you that every moment matters. Life isn't a meandering meaningless journey culminating in death, but an infinite series of final destinations, each impregnated with divine infinite meaning for you to decipher. Don't waste this sacred moment with fret, but if you must, take comfort in the fact that fretting is what must now be called for.

    But as to how you stay young as you get old, I quote the Nobel laureate, another Dylan:
  • Hanover
    12.8k
    She was old, and you're a goddamned fool.neonspectraltoast

    You told me your cat stared off oddly and then its legs began running in place. You laughed, and it died at your feet.

    My stroke/sociopath theory is a good one. Could be wrong, but it's a solid working theory, notwithstanding the fact that you cat may have been old or that I might be a goddamned fool. Those diagnoses are not mutually exclusive. We might all be right here.
  • frank
    15.7k
    guess being more ready to it is the positive side to it. I feel like I'm accepting it slowly.
    Then somehow things get repeated, I'm in a battle with myself.
    But the discussion here helped tremendously to see my problem through others' lenses.
    I-wonder

    I experience "problems" over and over, thinking it's resolved, and then it's back.

    There's a view that instead if trying to hammer these issues flat, allow them to be part of who you are, which is challenging if it's fear or anger, but allowing it can provide the space to see symbols in it or a drama playing out, maybe even an ancient Greek drama or an episode of the Andy Griffith show.
  • frank
    15.7k
    Death is a lot like lunch - if you've never had a lunch.ZzzoneiroCosm

    This
    Is
    the greatest
    Saying
    Ever
  • neonspectraltoast
    258


    It's okay to not be an asshole. Try it sometime.
  • Banno
    24.8k
    Lennon's hat is way cooler.
  • frank
    15.7k
    yet another astonishing post
  • I-wonder
    47

    Thank you for your encouragement, I think I'm starting to see life as a great mysterious adventure, whose last destiny is known.
  • I-wonder
    47

    I don't know Frank, maybe if I do that, problems will be solved.
  • frank
    15.7k
    maybe if I do that, problems will be solved.I-wonder

    Do which?
  • Hanover
    12.8k
    It's okay to not be an asshole. Try it sometimeneonspectraltoast

    Fair.
  • I-wonder
    47

    There's a view that instead if trying to hammer these issues flat, allow them to be part of who you are,frank
  • I-wonder
    47
    @frank
    Accepting fear of death will mean to move on in life, and to not think about it.
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