• Kiingarian
    17
    I've come to a cross road in my life. For the most of my existence here, I have kept to my self, working with few from time to time to help them find peace. I've never written anything about how I live, my meditations, and for the most part the realms we exist in physical, mental, and spiritual.

    I found Philosophy in College, and well, its the closest to my understanding that I have been able to find people to speak about my peculiar views on things.

    To start off I have Aphantasia, the inability to create visual images in ones mind. For me, it reaches to my other physicals senses as well: smell, touch, sound, etc. So physical memory is non existence. Since I can remember, I have been aware of a few things to be true. I think, simply, I can formulate concepts, thoughts (same format that you would tell your hand to move, No words) and perceive existence around me. This I hold to be the mental realm. I physically exist well, here I am writing you this. for the most part These we all perceive. The other perception, I have is one of others and my own energy, or spiritual existence. I call this spiritual only because its nothing like the other two realms we exist in. From sleep, to daily life this realm of existence appears well different for the lack of better words.
    Trying to speak about this in early years, well was fruitless, as I was not schooled in communication. As well, again for the lack of better words there was a "block" that stopped me from writing. It was recently removed.

    Which brings me to our question, from my end I have always felt more like a tool, or an assistance to others. Now, I can share something that well, for the most of my existence this life time, I have always been told to that I was crazy, there is something wrong with me and other things, which I understand it is a way of coping with some one that has a different points of views. Never the less, here I am, unclear on what do with this at this point. Any assistance would be appreciated.
  • James Riley
    2.9k
    Any assistance would be appreciated.Kiingarian

    Later I am going to take your post, copy and paste into Word, then edit it down to what I think it is you said. I will then try to provide my insight. However, at first glace, it seems to be something beyond my ability to comprehend. I don't know what it would be like to be as you describe. At second glance, I would simply say, in response to what I perceive as the question: just don't stop. Find a direction that suits you and go that way. Keep on trucking.
  • god must be atheist
    5.1k

    Your calling: inspirational speaker to kindergarten students, "This is what you could become if you take candy from the pushers lurking around school".

    No disrespect meant, and I don't have any indication that your mind was indeed scrambled by drugs. But you give a very good representation of what it would be like, your mind, if it was scrambled by drugs. So whether it has anything to do with reality, your performance could be used in good, moral service to humankind.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    thank you, I’ve been working on wording things, most physical things are well not my place to exist in. I do my best with thoughts that have are rushing far faster then in can type.
  • tim wood
    9.3k
    I buy the claim that we all dream, the explanation to those who claim that they do not being that their process of waking puts them distant from the dream itself, so they awaken with no memory of the dream. The proof being that in experiments, when subjects are awakened while in the type of sleep researchers have learned to associate with dreams, then they remember them.

    I did not - do not - remember most of my dreams. Even among people who remember them I believe it is common experience for the memory of them to evaporate like a morning mist. And I conjecture that most people who work a regular schedule sleep on a self-taught sleep schedule that puts their dreams distant from their regular time of waking.

    Since I retired, there are times when in the morning I just go back to sleep, and then I dream and remember them, and usually they are astonishingly detailed and complex - or seem that way. And on occasion I dream about something so vividly and that seems so real it takes a day or two to figure out if the events in the dream are real.

    What's the point? Do you dream? Almost certainly you do. Get someone to help you figure out how to access them, whether by waking up in the middle of the night or sleeping in or by some other method. The question being, are your senses working in your dreams while you sleep? And go from there.

    Readers of this forum will have about a year ago learned, if they did not already know, of a number of Youtube videos presenting the clear science that race is not a thing: there is no such thing as race. That is, what characterizes human beings is not similarity, except for a gross similarity, but difference. We are all different from each other. Learn to find strength in the unique person that you are. Not easy, and for too many, too difficult. Maybe you don't have a choice. Who knows, maybe will come a day when you thank God for not having a choice. And whatever Mr. Riley says, when he happens to say it.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    I’ve never done a single drug in my life, well the non- over the counter type, never drank alcohol either. For the most part head aches are rare and medications are not something I care to use.
    I don’t get angry for the main reason I can clearly see people “energy” move according to the way they are, so understanding people comes quite easy.
    Due to this, in most cases when people wish to discuss with me I clearly see their end point a few sentences in if they are clear in their intention. So some discussions are me just waiting around for people to complete what they already said with their “energy”.
    I use to interrupt people, (8 year old me), when I thought everyone else’s could sense what I do. Like all humans, I’m no exception I didn’t think people where different from me until I explored how they do things that are Contradictive to their nature.
    But yes, no drugs, nothing mind altering intact the “energy or spiritual aspects of my “sight” sees those that use any as spiritually painful. But I notice most cat feel that.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    Dream, no. Nightmares nope. I’m actually aware and thinking of things at night while my body rests and repairs itself.
    I have notice others dream and there’s is a long discussion occurring that would take a few pages for me to describe.
    I can “wake up” at any point and feel ready to go. My mind may feel drowsy, but I just switch from mental thinking to spiritual processing and I function that way till my mind is more capable.
    It feels like when I first tried to explain to my teachers I have no imagination. They would forceful say yes you do because we all do, by we they meant “I”.
    It’s a human trait to think that we all experience life the same, clearly I don’t. I know there should be another like me, I feel it in the worlds flow, but we are to far in between and distance spiritually speaking is not measurable.
    As far as G-d, my understanding of it is far different than the conventional thoughts on the subject, another subject for a longer discussion
  • tim wood
    9.3k
    Dream, no. Nightmares nope.Kiingarian
    If you say so. But you need to know it as fact, and not merely what you think is the case. i do not question your beliefs about yourself, or even what other people have told you. But there comes a time when you have to know for yourself. And I am under the impression that dreams are essential for mental health. But let's leave it there; I have nothing else worth adding.
  • James Riley
    2.9k
    I am unfamiliar with Aphantasia and do not know what it would be like to be incapable of creating visual images in my mind. I have physical memory to create the images, including smell, touch, sound, etc. I have heard people discuss whether they dream in color, smell, etc. and, while I dream, I don't know if I dream in color or not. So I can't imagine what it would be like to have no memory of such things. I don't think I could be much help.

    The same goes for the formulation of concepts or thoughts without words. I think that I do both. I can tell my hand to move without words (and many similar things) but I also use words, arguing in my head all the time, with words. So again, I don't think I can help.

    I am curious, however: How was the writing block removed?
  • Judaka
    1.7k

    I think I understand but I also know I can't fully understand because I don't know what it's like to experience Aphantasia.

    But your problem is not Aphantasia, also, you're at least of average intelligence, which's pretty obvious by your writing and thoughts, in my opinion.

    Your problem is that other people don't receive your ideas well and you don't feel respected, right?

    I have always been told to that I was crazy, there is something wrong with me and other things, which I understand it is a way of coping with some one that has a different points of views. Never the less, here I am, unclear on what do with this at this point. Any assistance would be appreciated.Kiingarian

    Honestly, the answer for me is to realise that your views are not made meritless based on how many people disagree with you or how vehemently people disagree with you. Have faith in your ideas, stand up for yourself and realise that, it's not just important as to whether you're right or not. It's also a matter of self-respect, identity, self-image. Have your own beliefs and be satisfied with what you believe, without allowing others to dictate that for you.

    I'm not spiritual at all and if you shared your ideas, I'd probably dislike them. But you shouldn't care, everyone is different, we have different perspectives and if someone is incompatible with you and doesn't show respect to you, trying to fix that is not worth your time or effort. I fear there's very little room for alternatives, if you don't like expressing yourself only to always find yourself being denied, think of some feeler questions to ask people, like how they feel about spirituality. If they say "ugh, I hate it" then you have your answer and you can just refrain from pursuing that any further.
  • Pop
    1.5k
    It’s a human trait to think that we all experience life the same, clearly I don’t. I know there should be another like me, I feel it in the worlds flow, but we are to far in between and distance spiritually speaking is not measurable.Kiingarian

    There are lots of people like you. From a quick glance of Wikipedia many people who claim aphantasia have led happy and successful lives. About 3% of the world population are in your shoes according to Apantasia.com. Perhaps check it out, and get in touch with others like yourself?
  • Kiingarian
    17
    I would agree REM cycles are highly important. I go through them accordingly, for me during it I’m doing what most do but in a conscious format. Communication between ones ego and ones “soul”. For the lack of better terms is vital. Without it people would go mad. REM is easy to get to for me, I can will it. From discussions I’ve had with others it’s not something most do.
    Expression, doesn’t bother me, I’ll talk about anything I witness, I don’t have a belief system. I work on validating what I witness prior and honestly it’s a major thing because I use like most common reference points, but when the world cannot sense what I do, it’s hard to find a common ground. If it want for the spiritual or energy base events being more accurate than physical ones I’d feel that I was crazy, disproving my senses is always a goal. The physical ones are easy, the energy ones I have not been able to as of yet.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    Like a Mechanic and a Doctor have no true common ground they may have areas where their fields may overlap with set techniques or concepts.
    Although most don’t think the way I do, I have found much aid in guidance from those that don’t.
    Wisdom is still wisdom, there are levels of truth that extend beyond skin deep realities.
    Arguing in your head, it’s funny. I have no idea how that’s done, and when people mention hearing words in one head it seems like some superpower and the self arguing it, is when it’s gone bad.
    So you can grasp a bit of the thinking process, is like something that you do on a regular bases like. Mundane task and it’s just done. Not much more than that. It’s fluid simple no mess.
    So never experience that internet thought struggle.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    yes, Aphantasia is a start point to let others get a glimps of how I exist. As I share this aspect with other most have different levels of it. Some can dream vividly, while others can hear sounds and recap taste more accurately than others. The brain wires itself in unique ways.
    For me all physical aspects are gone. Which is why my energy bases senses are sharpen to the point they have. I see others use these sense as well but more like a legally blind man that had a blurred Image or light change awareness. (Not fully blind) most are completely blind but I would say less than a third has some awareness of these energy senses, I have access to.
    What to do with this senses though are well to be seen. As I am not the right person that has the vocabulary to describe these things.
    On one other note, people with Aphantasia can get it in many ways from mine which is birth (as far as I can tell) or through traumatic experiences. Most have a beautiful stories, I’ve met some great people with it.
  • skyblack
    545
    Hello

    I read your OP but having some problems understanding your question/s. Can you ask it differently?
  • Kiingarian
    17
    intelligence Is say I have none, mainly the things I “know” are borrowed. Not mine. I just describe what I see for the most part. I don’t think of spiritualness like most but this other realm of existence is hard to put into any physical words.
    Yes, people don’t get my thoughts, and we’ll I don’t expect them to for two reasons. One, they haven’t acquired balance with their energy and two i don’t have balance with my physical side.
    I don’t find it disrespectful, just a barrier of communication I’d like to overcome.
    Agreeing and disagreeing, I’d have to agree with you. Merit is not my aim, just don’t know what to do with this sight I’m allowed to share with others now. It feels like I should do something with it, but I’m not a leader type, nor am I anyone that wants attention, but a tool should be used. Just need to find how to be used.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    simply, I have a sense because my other senses don’t work like everyone else’s. Like a blind man can hear better. But in my case it’s all my main physical senses. What does one do when most people have the same sense but because of their physical senses most don’t use them due to forms of manipulation by the masses or their Beliefs tell them not to use them.
    I don’t think I’m the right person to go help millions of people see the world clearer. But I can sense another realm of existence like sight being one, hearing another, while energy (spiritual, auras whatever you want to call it) being the one I can most don’t.
  • skyblack
    545
    simply, I have a sense because my other senses don’t work like everyone else’s. Like a blind man can hear better. But in my case it’s all my main physical senses. What does one do when most people have the same sense but because of their physical senses most don’t use them due to forms of manipulation by the masses or their Beliefs tell them not to use them.Kiingarian

    It seems the above intro is for the following question:

    I don’t think I’m the right person to go help millions of people see the world clearer. But I can sense another realm of existence like sight being one, hearing another, while energy (spiritual, auras whatever you want to call it) being the one I can most don’t.Kiingarian

    You would like to help the millions, is that it?
  • Kiingarian
    17
    I’m not the one for that. In fact may be the worst candidate. I hold little care for physical things. As I cannot recall them and it seems like recalling great feelings is what most do. I’ll help anyone that needs it I’m the realms that matter, again though I’m but a tool. And now that I have the ability to use this clarity personally it’s okay not to, but I’m advise by a few I should.
    Those that ask me to, I understand it’s for some form of self gain... I don’t care for much but to live simply.
    I’d be content riding out my years through life on a “small wooden boat” I don’t need a yacht or anything extravagant. My means are met.
    My question is what would you do with it? If you could see the universe through another realm?
    Personally, I’m just here for people. Like we all are just a part of a whole, my piece just can see things others refuse to or go about it in ways that are not the path to.
  • skyblack
    545
    I’m not the one for that. In fact may be the worst candidate. I hold little care for physical things. As I cannot recall them and it seems like recalling great feelings is what most do. I’ll help anyone that needs it I’m the realms that matter, again though I’m but a tool. And now that I have the ability to use this clarity personally it’s okay not to, but I’m advise by a few I should.
    Those that ask me to, I understand it’s for some form of self gain... I don’t care for much but to live simply.
    I’d be content riding out my years through life on a “small wooden boat” I don’t need a yacht or anything extravagant. My means are met.
    Kiingarian

    Then what's the question? Or there is none?
  • skyblack
    545
    I see you have done an addendum and added the following after my post:

    My question is what would you do with it? If you could see the universe through another realm?
    Personally, I’m just here for people. Like we all are just a part of a whole, my piece just can see things others refuse to or go about it in ways that are not the path to.
    Kiingarian

    I have no idea what you are asking so will bow out.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    what would you do with a sense of energy that belongs like the others but cannot be made manipulated like the physics ones? What path would you take?
    I understand my path, it’s clear, but I don’t have the clouds of self internal struggles do. One should get to know those he lives with, and shares life with, present their existence and see how they would react if they where in ones shoes.
    It helps seeing where in life one is.
  • Judaka
    1.7k

    This is a philosophy forum, many here have something they would like to impart upon as many as they could or believe the world would be better if others saw and thought as they did. But it will be incredibly difficult for you to penetrate through anyone with scepticism about things such as spirituality, energy, spiritual dimensions or whatever. This whole "tool" thing sucks, go for a good God/Messiah complex but besides the ego trip, you will find it difficult to make the peasan-... people listen to you. If I was in your situation then I would cackle about it to myself and bask in my own self-professed glory. Well, how you wield your spiritual power is up to you but that's what I would do. :cool:
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    AphantasiaKiingarian

    Aphantasia: Difficulty/inability to visualize voluntarily!

    A coupla interesting points that might help you,

    1. What's your opinion on the fact that you can, if you try, visualize wth your eyes open? The usual way visualizations are done, if movies are anywhere near the ballpark, is by closing the eyes, perhaps to block interference from real images on the retina that end up in the occipital lobe (visual cortex). This phenomenon maybe related to Inattentional Blindness & Conversion Disorder. Let's not forget hallucinations.

    2. The person who visualizes or generates one knows it's not a hallucination, knows it's not a real image in the eye. In other words, the one visualizing knows it's only imagination (unreal). How can the person tell? Dreams are also considered visualizations (involuntary ones) but when we're dreaming we fail to recognize that (simple) truth!

    The image of an object that's created on the retina differs, qualitatively, from the image of a visualization. They feel different and that's why you know, with a fair amount of certainty, which is which.

    That the both can be experienced simultaneously must mean...something. However, from personal experience, it's either what's on the retina or what you're visualizing but not both - the brain can handle only one of them at a time. That gums up the works for someone trying to claim that there are two brain "centers" involved, one for the eyes and the other for visualizations. I'm not sure. We do close our eyes when someone asks us to visualize though.

    Then there's the issue of image quality - if you've seen the best, regular ones just won't get your juices flowing, literally sometimes. Some people maybe complaining about a deterioration in the image quality rather than a complete failure of image formation i.e. the visualizations have become less vivid than before - you get the same feeling when you're given a low resolution photograph, disappointment and suddenly you don't want to look at photographs anymore.

    My two butcoins worth.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    I’ve worked on visualizing for a long time. Nothing ever appears it’s all black. Ives worked on trying to hear a voice in my head silence. I’ve tried to remember a taste it’s just my current taste of saliva. I’ve tried to remember how something feels but nothing. I have no physical memory. But that’s not the question. I’m merely was trying to give some clarification on the situation.
    Aphantasia is not a disability, as I’m aware it has only generated the ability for me to sense in another way most can but don’t. The physical senses cause issues.
  • Kiingarian
    17
    I’ve appreciated your feed back. But the tool thing is all I got. I don’t care for false thoughts like messiahs or gods. It’s an inflation of the ego. I don’t have one, not an ignorant one like that. There is nothing special about “me”. Like all of us I’m on this pale blue dot. In space.
    I bring this up in a philosophy forum because of this existence has lead me to truths, philosophers have searched for and well, I don’t find them as wowing as they may expect. I appreciate atheism as they acknowledge the prove it concept before the “yes what ever you say”.
    Yeah the “spiritual power”, loved that. Hilarious!
    The ability to sense energy is like seeing except it cannot be manipulated. Anyone can do it helped a few people learn to do it, well slightly. There is always a point of ones ego that stops people from using it, or their physical senses.
    Basking in self glory would ply stop me from sensing. So that’s a no go...
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    Aphantasia is not a disabilityKiingarian

    It should be! It means those with the condition can't do what normal people can. Also, to use a computer metaphor, your visualization app has been disabled. :rofl: No offense intended! I suffer from this condition too and I hate it!
  • Kiingarian
    17
    haha! Disabled, well seems more like the video card has been removed completely. If it’s not live stream nothing exists, physically at least.
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