I think fear and curiosity are the two main drivers.
Each has subcategories or synonyms, love being a subcategory of fear.
Its the desire for things to stay the same vs the desire for change. Love and fear are both about attachment: desire for stability, safety and comfort, all ways of coping with fear. Making friendships(love) helps protect us from dangers

Well, if you've ever watched youtube videos, you'll realize that you're not alone in this OP: some people, as one so eloquently put it, have what they call a death wish!

Interesting. I think that fear is a subcategory of loving (being attached to) a positive state of affairs that we would not want to lose. Curiosity is certainly a powerful source of value.

Its not death you crave. You are dead already. You crave to truly live. — Yohan

Harsh but true in some way, I think.

Curiosity — DA671

You need at a minimum 9 lives to be as curious as a cat! :snicker:

I am content with what I am capable of having. Cats are cute, by the way.

Survival drive is too strong so the best is to live comfortably until death comes to claim me. — Darkneos

So after all, even for you life is preferable to death. Which is normal, after millions or billions of years of evolution have geared our motivations toward survival.

I think death becomes preferable to life when suffering exceeds happiness so much that it beats the survival drive. If the survival drive is strong as usual, this must be a singularly terrible situation but unfortunately it can happen too.

[Death] I think it's safe to say it's the end of all things of life. Love, joy, sadness, fear, anger, pain, etc. To me that sounds like a good deal. — Darkneos

I agree that it's the end of self; all feelings, and emotions.
However, some things hang about for a while, like your effect on others.

Why is it a good deal not to feel anything at all?
Of all the emotions, which disturbs you the most?

...in death I will have no desire or need to do any of that stuff so it's a moot point and not really a reason to stick around. I mean there would be no "me" right? — Darkneos

So, do you not care about anyone else other than 'you'?

That said suicide isn't an option, at least with the current stance on it. Survival drive is too strong so the best is to live comfortably until death comes to claim me. — Darkneos

Suicide is always an option if anyone really wants to end their life.
You can go slow, slow, or quick depending on tool of choice. Not that I'm recommending it.
What 'current stance' are you talking about?

I agree the survival drive is strong. Why is that?
The need to pass on DNA? Are we here only as animals?

The best way to live.
Is it, as you say, to live comfortably?
Unlikely, even if it were possible. What does it mean to you, to live in comfort?
To be certain, to feel in control?

I tend to view existence as a chore to tolerate, — Darkneos

If you have decided your only option is to stay, then why not view life as less of a chore, more of a challenge? Not merely existing...
'Until death comes to claim you'?

Zoom out for a different perspective. Death can happen at any moment.
It's not about being claimed as if you are a worthless piece of baggage!

I realize I'm alone, but also I have a hard time discussing this anywhere else because people immediately say you need therapy. I consider that a dodge to my stance on this and a symptom of society's collective fear around death, I mean we can't even talk about it without people thinking there is something "Wrong" with you. — Darkneos

You are not alone. Even if you are on your own or feel lonely and an outsider.
Some quality responses here, yes? No dodges.
Who are the people that say you need therapy? How much do their opinions matter?
Is there anything else going on - depression?

Is your stance on this fixed for all time?
Or are you willing to listen to others? Read their words carefully. They have taken the time.

It sounds to me like you do care. Enough to share something we can all relate to.
Stay safe :sparkle:

Forgive this addendum:
[ Sometimes I wonder if such OPs are worth responding to, or if it's all attention-seeking]

Edit:

Previously discussed:
https://thephilosophyforum.com/discussion/10121/reason-for-living/p1
7 pages worth.

Love and fear are both about attachment: desire for stability, safety and comfort, all ways of coping with fear. — Yohan

Can we not just as easily make love primary ? I fear that harm will come to what I love. No love, no fear.

That is what I believe. People hate different communities because they love their own and fear that others could damage their values/customs. The preference for a good is what primarily seems to drive our aversion towards its absence.

I am content with what I am capable of having. Cats are cute, by the way. — DA671

They're lookin' for you! Quick, hide!

I long for death, — Darkneos

Not that you'll ever be in a position to know it.

Thank you for the warning!

I enjoyed reading the responses to the OP on this thread.
I don't feel the need to add anything to the general 'choose life!' message, firmly delivered.
I am sure I have an old faded 80's Wham 'CHOOSE LIFE' T-shirt somewhere in a drawer. Sadly, it won't fit me anymore but I might dig it out and stare at it for a while. Memories of past happy moments are also quite life-affirming. At least for me, anyway.

Can we not just as easily make love primary ? I fear that harm will come to what I love. No love, no fear. — Pie

Love is basically mutual assurance. People giving each other hope and consolation. Its not a thing in itself. Without fear and insecurity, how could we give each other hope and comfort?

Thank you for the warning! — DA671

We do what we can!

I think we can love someone without necessarily fearing that we would/could lose them. However, if we have lost something of value, then one can feel both hope and despair. I would say that the former is generally preferable. If you meant that to love someone else, one must be dissatisfied/averse to their current state of affairs, I would agree with that. But this state of deprivation/insecurity itself arises from the loss of a previous state of being satisfied/loving what one has.

Love is basically mutual assurance. People giving each other hope and consolation. Its not a thing in itself. Without fear and insecurity, how could we give each other hope and comfort? — Yohan

I see us as tribal, social animals, evolved to work as a group. I view the relatively isolated self as a kind of invention or development in the story.

:up: It's more than enough!

It's more than enough! — DA671

:pray:

You see the light in the dark! Good to have you on the team.

:pray:

:ok: :clap:

:flower:

You sound like a lot of fun!

as I long for death, — Darkneos

Then why are you still around? I don’t mean this to be callous — and I’m not encouraging suicide — but genuinely curious. If you long for nothingness, why keep going?

I am not OP, but I could try answering the question:

1. It's not easy to embrace nothingness (at least until there is a liberal right to a graceful exit that allows one to find a completely peaceful and risk-free way out).

2. Since one is already here, they could focus on alleviating the suffering of existing sentient beings.

I am thankful that the extreme step has not been taken. I hope that we can someday live in a world in which people never have to do so in a state of pure misery and despair.

I see us as tribal, social animals, evolved to work as a group. I view the relatively isolated self as a kind of invention, a byproduct of capitalism maybe. — Pie

I think man has been isolated from the beginning, and that groups are at least one factor in that.
When someone sees me as a stereotype or representative of a group, they ignore my unique individuality, so I become isolated.

When someone sees me as a stereotype or representative of a group, they ignore my unique individuality, so I become isolated. — Yohan

I dislike being misunderstood myself. This issue reminds me of Sartre. To be a mere object for the other is the essence of shame.

This user has been deleted and all their posts removed.

Well, you won't ever experience death. Death is simply, "The end". You'll experience dying if you're conscious at the time. But that's it. There is no peace, no rest, no etc. You're just dead. You won't be able to tell people how different you are anymore. You won't be able to chat with friends or family about how much of a chore life is. You won't be able to post on the philosophy boards in the hope of conversing or thinking.

You'll be gone. There will be no you. It will simply end. You won't even get the satisfaction of enjoying it or "being right".

You do enjoy life. Now it may not be roses and "the best", but you do, because you live. You actually do enjoy to some extent talking to other people. Making your voice known. People who really don't enjoy life at all don't talk. They don't write. They hate and despise everything about their very existence. You would loath eating, breathing, and doing anything. You obviously do not.

So no, you don't prefer death to living. You still live. You still eat. You still interact. Perhaps you wish life were better than it is. Perhaps you want peace and a release from pain, and confuse that for a desire for death. Many people do. But if you're talking about death as it is, an unromantic end that you won't get any feelings about or be around to experience, no you don't.