Okay so basically you have this neighbour who is a woman whose husband is always out. She uses your gf to stay with her kids, while she goes fucking around with other men on the pretence that it's a family emergency. Then when you tell her about it, she keeps lying. There's not much to respect in such a person. She's "desperate and lonely" - big deal. It happens, life ain't easy. But one's reactions determine one's character - and lying and deceiving you in order to use your time is completely wrong.

Percisely. I needed that spelled out for me. Everyone is shit to some degree.. That being said making the personal decision to disallow people from using or pressuring you with their agenda, whatever the reason, makes you a dick. Being honest to values is hard when you genuinely care about others

That being said making the personal decision to disallow people from using or pressuring you with their agenda, whatever the reason, makes you a dick — Charrison94

I disagree. They may say you're a dick, but that's merely their way of trying to peer-pressure and force you to obey their will by making you feel bad about yourself. Disallowing people from using you is the right thing to do - it's about respecting your own self, and demanding the adequate level of respect from others if they want you to be their acquaintance/friend.

What I'm trying to find is inner and true benevolence. Being 'enlightened' and 'understanding' without proper action is as having fuel but not knowing how to operate the machine. How should one act or not act, think or not think when faced with these sort of scenarios. Is their a philosophy that touches on being 'rude' via denial and avoidance

Reading this was settling. If we allow ourselves as slaves to people whoms tactic is deceit than we put ourself back seat in the expenditure of our time on this earth.

It just sickens me on how some get by and respect themselves at all

Though I hope the woman gets help and guidance in order to get better, she cannot force her issues on everyone else. It is not cold or even rude to reject people trying to use you. Would it be considered rude to reject giving money to a person who lied and effectively stole money from you before by lying to you?

If you want to remain open, you can tell her you are willing to talk about her issues and potentially help her find out her direction. However, you do not owe her anything, especially if she shows no signs of actually trying to move into a better situation.

If you want to remain open, you can tell her you are willing to talk about her issues and potentially help her find out her direction. However, you do not owe her anything, especially if she shows no signs of actually trying to move into a better situation. — Chany

I think this gets to the heart of the matter. We are not responsible for other people's ethics or morality. We are only responsible for what we do - right or wrong.