We all think we’re special. We usually get our sense of specialness from some characteristic we take pride in. We make claims — to ourselves and to others — about these characteristics. We can go most of our lives telling ourselves a story built around such claims.

But exactly when is it complete bullshit?

As an example, I’ve never felt exceptional in almost any sense. Sometimes I’ve been surprised by how far above the curve I am in a particular domain, and my underestimating myself works against me (like when assuming others know more than they really do); other times, I’m humbled by how much I’ve overestimated myself in some way (like basketball).

Yet through it all, I’ve often protected my ego with the belief that my THINKING is what’s unique. Others may be more articulate, faster, stronger, better looking, more successful socially or financially, etc — but they don’t have the special knowledge I do! “Apes don’t read PHILOSOPHY!”

I figure this is a common psychological experience. But how can we break out of such ego-protecting narratives?

I offer a simple principle:

If you can’t “prove it” in the real world, with real people, you just may be full of shit.

For fun, here’s a 3-step guide.

Example claim: “I am one of the best cooks in the world.”

1. Assuming the claim is not easily dismissed as the ramblings of a crazy person, the next question should be: Is it measurable or demonstrable in some way?

If no— you’re likely full of shit.

If yes, go to 2 (eg., you cook me a passionfruit soufflé, or I play you in chess and you beat me).

2. What is the sample size?

To shift the premise a bit: if you make everyone in your family (or neighborhood, or town) laugh— or if you can argue them into the ground, or if you can beat them all in chess, or out-bench them by 100 pounds — then there’s at least some basis for your belief. Good for you. Your belief may be justified.

What’s more likely, however, is that your sample size is too small.

If it is, you’re likely full of shit.

If not, go to 3.

3. So you’ve made a claim about yourself, and that claim is measurable and has been compared to a fairly large sample size.

Finally: have you taken on others that have also satisfied 1 and 2?

If not, you may be full of shit.

If yes— congrats on your abilities. Screw yourself.

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In my view, 90% of us don’t even pass (1). We remove our claims from the realm of demonstrability, so we can go on holding our very self-serving beliefs without ever having to prove them or subject them to real scrutiny. Much like many religions.

…Whew — that post was long. And worth it.