• Truth Seeker
    753
    While there is much in life beyond your control, there are certain areas where you have influence. These are primarily related to your own thoughts, actions, and responses. Here’s what you can control:
    1. Your Attitude and Perspective
    • How you interpret events and challenges.
    • Choosing gratitude, hope, or curiosity over despair or frustration.
    • Framing difficulties as opportunities to grow.
    2. Your Actions and Behaviours
    • The effort you put into your work, relationships, and passions.
    • How you treat others—kindness, respect, and compassion.
    • Setting and pursuing meaningful goals.
    3. Your Reactions
    • How you respond to setbacks, criticism, or disappointment.
    • Managing emotional responses like anger, fear, or sadness.
    • Learning to pause, reflect, and act thoughtfully, rather than impulsively.
    4. Your Habits
    • Building routines that support your physical and mental well-being, like exercise, sleep, and healthy eating.
    • Practising mindfulness or meditation to cultivate awareness and calmness.
    • Prioritizing time for things that matter most to you.
    5. Your Values and Principles
    • Living in alignment with what you believe is right and meaningful.
    • Standing up for your values even when it's difficult.
    • Being authentic and true to yourself.
    6. How You Spend Your Time
    • Choosing activities and people that enrich your life.
    • Avoid distractions and focus on what’s important to you.
    • Investing time in self-improvement or hobbies you enjoy.
    7. Your Learning and Growth
    • Seeking knowledge, skills, and self-awareness.
    • Reflecting on mistakes and learning from them.
    • Being open to new perspectives and experiences.
    8. Setting Boundaries
    • Saying no to things that harm your well-being.
    • Protecting your mental and emotional space.
    • Limiting interactions with toxic people or situations.
    9. How You Treat Yourself
    • Practicing self-compassion and forgiveness.
    • Acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small.
    • Allowing yourself rest and care when needed.
    10. Effort Toward Positive Change
    • Advocating for causes you care about.
    • Helping others in your community or through volunteering.
    • Contributing to a better world, even in small ways.
    Focusing on what you can control can create a sense of agency and resilience, even in the face of life's uncertainties and challenges. It’s about directing your energy where it can make a difference and letting go of what you cannot change.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    Here’s what you can control:
    1. Your Attitude and Perspective
    • How you interpret events and challenges.
    Truth Seeker

    Not sure about this, would the control be based on social perspectives that you have picked up throughout your life? Most of which would probably have been learned without any choice in the learning of them.
  • Vera Mont
    4.6k
    Your Attitude and PerspectiveTruth Seeker
    Not really. You may be able to adjust it, given a favourable environment.
    2. Your Actions and BehavioursTruth Seeker
    To a large extent, yes.
    3. Your ReactionsTruth Seeker
    See 1. It's the same thing.
    4. Your HabitsTruth Seeker
    Circumstances permitting. Not everyone is free to set their own schedule and follow a routine of their own choosing.
    5. Your Values and PrinciplesTruth Seeker
    You do that once, early in life, partly according to your own preference. Whether you are able to adhere to them for the rest of your life depends on more than your will.
    6. How You Spend Your TimeTruth Seeker
    That should be 'how you spend your free time', which depends on how much of it you have and how tired you are when the obligatory activities are finished.
    7. Your Learning and GrowthTruth Seeker
    Mostly yes, with possible limitations imposed by conditions beyond your control.
    8. Setting BoundariesTruth Seeker
    Within the tight circle you can reach. Can't affect law enforcement, landlords and employers.
    9. How You Treat YourselfTruth Seeker
    Except that last one. You may not have sufficient time to rest or adequate health care.
    10. Effort Toward Positive ChangeTruth Seeker
    So long as it doesn't get you into trouble with superior fire-power.

    Good advice for middle-class, reasonably well educated, reasonably comfortable people who suffer from self-doubt and self-imposed stress.
  • 180 Proof
    15.7k
    Imo, your habits (biases & pathologies) control you; habitualize yourself wisely.
  • Truth Seeker
    753
    I agree with your caveats. We are never free from the determinants (genes, environments, nutrients and experiences), constraints and consequences of our choices.
  • Truth Seeker
    753
    Some people are better at self-control than others. This is due to the mix of their genes, environments, nutrients and experiences. We don't choose our genes or our early environments, our early nutrients and our early experiences.
  • Truth Seeker
    753
    Are our habits ever free from our genes, environments, nutrients, and experiences? I am not convinced such a thing is possible.
  • 180 Proof
    15.7k
    Not completely (or mostly).
  • Benkei
    7.9k
    tell me how. I have huge issues with "spheres of influence" with a lot attention towards international geopolitics and 0 control and at the same time it affects my mood too much. Been working on it for a few months now with unfortunately not as much progress as I would like.

    I'm more explicit about "I cannot control this" and then I can start accepting doing nothing but feeling nothing is still a long way off.
  • Truth Seeker
    753
    Not completely (or mostly).180 Proof

    How do you know that it is "not completely"? Could it be that our habits are not at all free from our genes, environments, nutrients and experiences?
  • 180 Proof
    15.7k
    ↪180 Proof tell me how.Benkei
    "How" what?

    I don't know for sure. Certainly they are constrained by them.
  • Truth Seeker
    753
    I don't know for sure. Certainly they are constrained by them.180 Proof

    Thank you very much.
  • Benkei
    7.9k
    habitualising yourself wisely.
  • 180 Proof
    15.7k
    My guess is – since I'm not "wise"– as a general rule: strive to undertake reflective inquiries / practices (e.g. reflective equilibrium) all day every day.
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